9 Bob's Burgers Episodes For Your 'New Year, New Me'

9 Bob's Burgers Episodes For Your 'New Year, New Me'

This wonderfully created TV series offers up many laughs and subliminal life lessons. For whatever your New Years resolution is, they've got an episode for that.

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If you have seen every episode of Bob's Burgers like myself, you've experienced the humorous Belcher family being the Belcher family. I don't really know how else to describe the show, like I've been trying to think about a description, it is tough to put into words. The show is a riot. If you know you know. Anyway. Here are episodes that relate to some common New Years resolutions.

1. For Family-Oriented Resolutions: S1E6 Sheesh! Cab, Bob? 

Bob picks up a second job, despite the long hours and late nights, to make some extra money so his daughter, Tina, can have a great birthday.

2. For Goal-Driven Resolutions: S2E4 BurgerBoss 

Bob goes as far as getting wrist braces to break the high score on the video game where his nemesis, Jimmy Pesto, holds first place.

3. For Fitness Resolutions: S5E3 Friends with Burger-Fits

Bob feels bad because he sells burgers, so he and Teddy team up to get in shape and improve Teddy's health at an extreme stunt man boot camp.

4. For Self-Care Resolutions: S8E7 V for Valentine-detta

After Tina is dumped by Jimmy Jr. the ladies hit the town in a classy limo to boost her spirits on the love-filled holiday.

5. For "Try Something New" Resolutions: S1E5 Hamburger Dinner Theater 

Things go awry when Bob is convinced by Linda to turn the restaurant into a dinner musical theater.

6. For "Moving On" Resolutions: S6E9 Sacred Couch 

Linda's heart is in pieces when the family needs to get rid of their busted couch and get something new.

7. For "Breaking old habits" Resolutions: S8E5 Thanks-Hoarding! 

Teddy's family decides last minute to come and he runs to Bob and Linda to help pull it off. Except his house is like an episode of Hoarders.

8. For Travelling Resolutions: S4E1 A River Runs Through Bob

The Belcher family does something they don't typically do- they head into the woods for a great weekend of camping, nature, and wildlife.

9. For Friendship Resolutions: S6E13 Wag the Hog

Bob is a good friend and takes care of some business for his pal, Critter, who is currently in jail.

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I Went To "The Bachelor" Auditions

And here's why you won’t be seeing me on TV.
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It’s finally time to admit my guilty pleasure: I have always been a huge fan of The Bachelor.

I can readily admit that I’ve been a part of Bachelor fantasy leagues, watch parties, solo watching — you name it, I’ve gone the whole nine yards. While I will admit that the show can be incredibly trashy at times, something about it makes me want to watch it that much more. So when I found out that The Bachelor was holding auditions in Houston, I had to investigate.

While I never had the intention of actually auditioning, there was no way I would miss an opportunity to spend some time people watching and check out the filming location of one of my favorite TV shows.

The casting location of The Bachelor, The Downtown Aquarium in Houston, was less than two blocks away from my office. I assumed that I would easily be able to spot the audition line, secretly hoping that the endless line of people would beg the question: what fish could draw THAT big of a crowd?

As I trekked around the tanks full of aquatic creatures in my bright pink dress and heels (feeling somewhat silly for being in such nice clothes in an aquarium and being really proud of myself for somewhat looking the part), I realized that these auditions would be a lot harder to find than I thought.

Finally, I followed the scent of hairspray leading me up the elevator to the third floor of the aquarium.

The doors slid open. I found myself at the end of a large line of 20-something-year-old men and women and I could feel all eyes on me, their next competitor. I watched as one woman pulled out her travel sized hair curler, someone practiced answering interview questions with a companion, and a man (who was definitely a little too old to be the next bachelor) trying out his own pick-up lines on some of the women standing next to him.

I walked to the end of the line (trying to maintain my nonchalant attitude — I don’t want to find love on a TV show). As I looked around, I realized that one woman had not taken her eyes off of me. She batted her fake eyelashes and looked at her friend, mumbling something about the *grumble mumble* “girl in the pink dress.”

I felt a wave of insecurity as I looked down at my body, immediately beginning to recognize the minor flaws in my appearance.

The string hanging off my dress, the bruise on my ankle, the smudge of mascara I was sure I had on the left corner of my eye. I could feel myself begin to sweat. These women were all so gorgeous. Everyone’s hair was perfectly in place, their eyeliner was done flawlessly, and most of them looked like they had just walked off the runway. Obviously, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

I walked over to the couches and sat down. For someone who for the most part spent most of the two hours each Monday night mocking the cast, I was shocked by how much pressure and tension I felt in the room.

A cop, stationed outside the audition room, looked over at me. After a brief explanation that I was just there to watch, he smiled and offered me a tour around the audition space. I watched the lines of beautiful people walk in and out of the space, realizing that each and every one of these contestants to-be was fixated on their own flaws rather than actually worrying about “love.”

Being with all these people, I can see why it’s so easy to get sucked into the fantasy. Reality TV sells because it’s different than real life. And really, what girl wouldn’t like a rose?

Why was I so intimidated by these people? Reality TV is actually the biggest oxymoron. In real life, one person doesn’t get to call all the shots. Every night isn’t going to be in a helicopter looking over the south of France. A real relationship depends on more than the first impression.

The best part of being in a relationship is the reality. The best part about yourself isn’t your high heels. It’s not the perfect dress or the great pick-up lines. It’s being with the person that you can be real with. While I will always be a fan of The Bachelor franchise, this was a nice dose of reality. I think I’ll stick to my cheap sushi dates and getting caught in the rain.

But for anyone who wants to be on The Bachelor, let me just tell you: Your mom was right. There really are a lot of fish in the sea. Or at least at the aquarium.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

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All The TV Shows Returning This Month!

Check out all the great TV shows returning during May.

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May is here and has brought the return of a ton of great TV shows along with it!

Check out which of your favorite shows are back with new seasons this month and be sure not to miss them!

May 8th: "Lucifer"

Season 4 of "Lucifer" is airing on Netflix.

May 10th: "Easy"

This show about sex, love, and everything in between drops on Netflix on the 10th.

May 10th: "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D."

This fan favorite returns to ABC on Friday the 10th.

May 10th: "Sneaky Pete"

Season 3 of "Sneaky Pete" is back on Amazon Prime Video.

May 13th: "The Bachelorette"

Hannah B. premieres as the new "Bachelorette" on ABC.

May 17th: "Fleabag"

This criminally underrated series hits Amazon Prime Video on the 17th.

May 23rd: "Elementary"

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Lucy Liu's NYPD drama returns to CBS on May 23rd.

May 23rd: "Vida"

Season 2 of "Vida" is back on STARZ on the 23rd.

May 24th: "She's Gotta Have It"

The second season of this Spike Lee inspired Netflix Original drops on Friday the 24th.

May 28th: "Animal Kingdom"

TNT's smash hit "Animal Kingdom" is back on May 28th.

May 29th: "Archer"

Everyone's favorite animated series returns with a new season on the 29th.

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