20 Blinking Guy Tweets That Perfectly Describe My Life

20 Blinking Guy Tweets That Perfectly Describe My Life


The man, the myth, the legend...the blinking man. Some might say he's their soulmate, others might say he's a comedic genius, and some might say that he's the best meme of all time. Whatever you might call him, we can all agree that this man is hilarious and his GIF is absolutely iconic. This GIF is spreading and has been used all over all social media platforms. My most personal favorites are from twitter. The blinking man GIF has accurately described my life in more ways than one.

1. Me: this test is gonna be so easy, Ima get a 100.

Test: Name______

2. Miley has the exact same face and voice as Hannah Montana.

Miley: I'm Hannah Montana.


3. Me: Hit me, pay for my college tuition.
Car: speeds up and actually might

4. "You're getting pulled over for going 40 above the speed limit."

5. Him: No.


6. Mary: I'm pregnant.


7. When you watching your favorite movie with someone and an important part comes on but you look over and the person is just on their phone...

8. Adam: This apple is great, where did you get it from?

Eve: The Forbidden tree.


9. Me: "I'm gonna fail this exam lol."

*fails exam*


10. Me: *knows I'm ugly*

someone: you're ugly


11. Me: I want to–

my bank account:

12. When ur man gets u mad so u say ur going to sleep at 6:30 p.m. and he replies with "goodnight."

13. When you're playing with your pet and they try to bite you.

14. Me: This essay is so bad.

professor: This essay is bad.


15. Me: Lord, if it's not your will, tell me no.

Lord: no


16. Account balance: $100.00

Me: *spends $2.91*

New account balance: $97.09


17. Me: I have so much to do, ugh.

Someone: Then get off your phone and do it.


18. Me: *unfollows someone*

them: *unfollows me back*


19. When u take off a face mask and you still have acne.

20. *goes to the gym for an hour*

My body: *doesn't lose 20 pounds*


Cover Image Credit: dailydot

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A Letter To My Father Who Was Never There

And a clear message to my insane step-mother: fuck off.

Dear Michael,

First of all, yeah. I'm totally gonna call you Michael because you haven't earned the right of me calling you "dad."

You have never, in your entire life or mine, been there for me. I've been through some shit and you haven't seen any of it. Hell, you were the cause of some of it. I didn't realize it until later on in life, but I struggled and I cried and I got angry because you were never there. You didn't want me, let's say it like it is. You looked down at either Michaela - a living memory of your late wife - or me, a harmless infant, and realized that you didn't want us.

Because, again, let's be honest, this isn't just about me. It's about Michaela too. You fucking abandoned her. You are her only full-blood relative that isn't bat-shit crazy and you just...let her go.

I've also experienced real joy in my life. The difference, though, was that you were never the cause of that joy, for either of us. We didn't know you long enough to be happy to see you. You've always been a stranger to me.

The only time I ever got to know you was sitting at a booth at Friendly's or sitting on a couch, watching tv. You always felt so foreign to me. When I was little, I used to sit and watch you and Janet set up for parties in the back yard and think: "can he really be my father?" I felt so disconnected that I hardly even wanted to be there.

So when Michaela started cheerleading and dancing competitively in high school, and needed to stay home on weekends, I knew I wasn't going there without her. Because it would've felt like walking into a stranger's house.

One time, during Christmastime, Janet and I dropped Michaela off at practice at school, and then she and I went to the mall because she needed some gifts. Two older ladies approached us and chatted with us.

"Shopping with Mom?" They inquired. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, she cut me off.
"Yup, that's us, mother and daughter out Christmas shopping." I felt offended and confused. As soon as they walked away, I must've given Janet the most "what the actual fuck?" look in my life, because she said to me:

"It's just too complicated to explain to people we don't know that well, kiddo." I raised an eyebrow.
"You're my step-mother. It's not that complicated. You're not my mom, and you never will be."

I was mad. I don't remember how old I was. Maybe 10 at the most? I doubt she ever told you about it, probably out of sheer humiliation.

Even though I felt absolutely alien to you, I still desperately wanted a father. I wanted someone to be able to take Michaela and I to bowling on Saturday mornings so Mom could sleep in. I wanted to be able to afford to go on cool vacations. I wanted my mother to be happy and not have to work every waking second of her goddamned life.

It wasn't until much later on in life that I realized that you were unnecessary, especially if you didn't want to be there yourself.

When Pop-Pop died, you called the house. I answered. We hadn't spoken in years. You tried to talk to me as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. I was so shocked that all I could do was give one- or two-word answers. That phone call, that maybe lasted 2 minutes or less, was when I realized I was never going to see you again.

When I was 20, though, I did.

I saw you out in public. I couldn't believe my eyes, I was floored. I stared straight at you, and you stared straight at me.

And then you walked away. You looked through me like I was a ghost and not your own fucking flesh and blood. I had to sit down. I felt like I was going to vomit. I think I actually did.

"My own father..." I thought, tears in my eyes. "My own goddamned father..."

You can imagine my surprise, then, when Janet decided to come out of the woodwork and send me a Facebook message last year, essentially blaming me for not having a relationship with you.

"Listen, lady," I wrote back, full of contempt and anger. "First of all, HOW DARE YOU CHASTISE ME as if you have the right to! You are not my parent and you have absolutely no sway in my life! YOU ARE A STRANGER. Also, if he wanted a relationship with me, he would've sought one out himself by now. I am the child, not the parent. It is not my responsibility to check in on him. If he wants to talk to me, he can find me himself. I don't need to hear from his carrier pigeon."


I should also note that she sent Michaela a similar message and tried to throw me under the bus. Congratulations on your 25 year marriage to a conniving, idiotic whore.

You're truly one of the stupidest people in the world, Michael, for doing what you did. You threw away everything. For what? Some bitch. Some fucking moron who tries to manipulate your children against each other. And a fucking retirement community in the goddamned woods.

I'm not writing this because I'm mad at you. I'm not saying I haven't been in the past, but that's not what this letter is about. I just want you to know what you missed out on - two vibrant, hilarious, caring, intelligent young women who grew into independent, strong-willed humans just like their mother. The kindest, most hard-working, amazing wife anyone could've imagined. I want you to understand, after 25 years, what you missed. Because you made the choice to miss it. And it was nobody's choice but your own.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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To The Person Who Is My "Grandfather"

I loved you unconditionally. Why did you hurt me?

I know you'll never see this. Then again, you might since you have someone stalking me on all of my social media. Fine. Let them print this out too. This isn't to, "ruin your good name." You had to have had a good name before a twenty-three-year-old with too much life experience can ruin it. This isn't a hit piece. This is disappointment. This is hurt.

This is what two -- yes, I said two-- generations of abuse look like. I have been told awful stories about how you would whip my mother with a belt over something another sibling did. Before someone says there's a difference in whipping and spanking, I know. One night, you even beat her with your belt and left bloody welts from her neck to her ankles. Even in my life, you have done things that no grandchild should see you do. I thank God every day that I am old enough to comprehend everything now.

At three years old, I saw you leave the house at 4 AM, knowing, just knowing, that you were going to work. Why did I just know this? Because you saw me awake and you told me to be quiet and not wake Nana up. But you didn't come home until nearly 5 PM. Why? Where was my, "Pawpaw," for all of that time? I was almost 4 when I found out.

Mama, Nana, my six-month-old sister, and I went on a trip one day to Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee. Yay! I was three so I still loved traveling. What I didn't know was that we were going there to catch you cheating on Nana. Once again, I was three years old.

How do you explain to a three-year old that she just saw the man she loves the most walking out of another woman's house? Luckily, I didn't understand. I still don't understand and I have a very deep passion about cheating.

At four, I was terrified of you. Why? Because you bought me my own ice cream maker for Christmas and I was playing with it. Nothing to be scared of really. Then, you decided to come do work in there. Okay, fine. I'm four and want to spend every second of every day with my Nana and my, "Pawpaw." Well, as four-year-olds do, I spilled the ice cream. You lost your mind. You yelled and screamed. You raised your hand to hit me. Mama stepped in. She didn't want me to go through what she went through.

At six, I listened to you try to beat my disabled father and, when my mother tried to pull you off of him, you turned around and slapped her in front of my two-year-old sister because she was trying to tell you that the two-year-old was in there. Mama finally had enough. Thirty-two years of this was enough. Shortly after, Nana filed for divorce. We all cheered.

For the next sixteen years, I avoided you. You constantly tried to buy mine and my sister's love. That's not how love works though. We would begrudgingly accept because we knew. We always knew. We weren't stupid. Then, Uncle Jeff got sick.

You came to the hospital the second night like you care about him his entire life. However, that was the first time in forty-seven years that you bothered to show up when he was sick. I was already upset because I had been at the hospital the night before until 3 AM and watched him make himself sick.

My sister and I got to the hospital that night not knowing what to expect because he literally died three times in the hour it took us to drive there. When we walked in, it was about you. Your son was lying in a bed dying and it was about you.

In reality, you were never the caring and loving father you portrayed yourself to be that night or anytime you've been since then. You have had our entire family convinced that Uncle Jeff as going to be dead in a matter of hours at least twice a month since October 13th.

You even tried to pull the plug after his doctors said he would be okay after he got medicine. You are the sore on society to me. You and so many people like you are the reason people don't want children of their own because they don't want them to endure the pain they did as a child.

Repeatedly, through this whole ordeal, you have somehow made yourself the most painful family member to be around. Everything is about how much money you have and how Uncle Jeff is going to die any day. I know that we are all embarrassments to you. We aren't rich. We didn't play sports. We are all happy people without you.

But, do you want to know what we did do? We did better for ourselves than being stuck in your vicious cycle, all thanks to Nana leaving you. You have turned my life into the worst soap opera of all time just by being in the same zip code as me again.

I, and MY whole family will be happy when you decide you can't make yourself look good anymore.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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