In a time where multiple accounts of rape are being revealed, there is also a flood of opinions on personal responsibility.
Should the victim have done this or that? Should they have listened to those that warned them? Should they have worn that? Should they have just known better?
And to an extent, knowledge is a good weapon when one's sexual rights are in danger of being taken away. But one can take all the precautions — and still be raped.
This is where the perpetrator should have personal responsibility — NOT the victim.
The perpetrator shouldn't see someone walking alone at night and think "Hell yeah, time to get some!" They shouldn't look at someone wearing revealing clothing and plan to feel the person up. They shouldn't score some roofies to drug someone at the club that weekend.
Putting all the responsibility of not getting violated on a victim makes no sense.
It's almost as if people expect victims to be psychic.
"If I wear this, I know I will be raped."
"If I drink at a bar, I know I will be drugged."
"If I want this job, I know I will have to sleep with this guy."
Going into any kind of situation with this mindset is not only defeating but a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's not a healthy way to lead one's life — people should not have to live with this fear in the back of their minds.
Personal responsibility is only marketed towards those that crimes have happened to. Too many times has society or the judge placed blame on the victims for not knowing enough, not wearing enough, or not doing enough ahead of time to have prevented rape.
It is the perpetrator that needs to learn self-control.
The possible perpetrator should not want to create an unsafe situation for anyone. This is where the responsibility should lie. Being responsible enough to take steps to not sexually harass or take advantage of someone.
There are no widely publicized resources out there to help perpetrators. "Oh well, rapists are going to rape, so it's up to the possible victims to just learn to protect themselves." What kind of sense does that make?
In an ideal world, there should be an abundance of resources available to perpetrators in addition to the abundance of resources we currently have available to victims and possible victims. There should be interpersonal relationship counseling available to them. They should be taught how to handle rejection and hearing "no" as well as taught how to manage anger.
Personal responsibility for preventing rape should be put on the would-be rapists.
There are way more advantages to being a safe person in society than being a rapist. Passing background checks, job security, and long-lasting relationships just to name a few.
Being responsible takes initiative. One should want to know how to be a safe person to get on the road to being a safe person. Only then can the healing of hurts begin.