Do you ever have those days where everything just seems to go wrong? What makes those days even worse is when you cannot find anyone to blame these mistakes on. At the end of the day, you crash onto the nearest sofa or bed and pull out your phone to rant about your horrid day on social media, but right before you hit “Post,” you remember you need some kind of clever hashtag to make it relatable. You don’t want to go with the usual hashtags like #relatable or #done or #whatever. Well, here’s a hashtag that you might consider using next time: #BlameKim.

You may be asking, “Kim? Who’s Kim?” The answer is, “Don’t worry about it,” because Kim is actually an acronym for Konstantly MakIng Mistakes. You may now be saying, “But constantly isn’t even spelled right,” or, “That’s an acronym for KMM.” Again, the response to that is, “Don’t worry about it,” because of reasons.

You should be blaming KIM because when you have no one to blame, you might feel compelled to blame yourself, and you shouldn’t. Instead, blame those constant mistakes. Blame KIM.

For all those times you’re late to class because you were having a very important discussion about the latest anime, just blame KIM. For those moments when you’re tempted to unhealthily gobble down some Kit Kat bars, blame KIM. When you come back to your unlocked laptop to find that the wallpaper has been changed to a shirtless Markiplier, blame KIM. Any time you can’t find your backpack, only to discover it hidden behind a random couch, blame KIM. I think you get the picture.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, happy birthday, Kim! Because it’s your birthday, let’s take a moment to remember the precious moments that we had together. Around Halloween last year, you brought bags of candy to share with everybody. Everyone praised you for bringing all the good stuff. Reese’s, Hershey’s bars, Kit Kats…The tables were flipped on everyone once you found out how to bribe people with chocolate. Those delicious, accused Kit Kats! It’s your fault that there are poor souls out there now that can be manipulated with Kit Kats.

Then somewhere along the line, you picked up a strange quirk for finding open and unattended laptops and changing the wallpapers on them. Of course, you wouldn’t go around waiting for strangers to leave their desks so you can sneak up, do a quick Google search for a random anime or Youtuber, and do the switcharoo. I’ll admit, there were times where the images or fanart you found gave us a pleasant surprise. However, now whenever it happens, all fingers point to you.

Besides the whole wallpaper swap, you also liked to nab the small things that we had lying around and hide them (in very obvious places) around the room. Don’t think we have forgotten your devious deeds of mischief! Although, that might be your own form of retaliation for all the shenanigans that you have to deal with. But the chaos it causes? We blame you for it.

And finally, Kim, you have to stop leaving people behind during the times when they need you the most. Don’t leave campus early just because you want to take a nap at your house. By doing that, you leave the people who crave your company feeling all lonely. We need you, Kim. When you’re not around we have no one to blame when things go wrong. But I guess we can always #BlameKim.

I also blame your perler beads too.