My Biggest Insecurity Is...

My Biggest Insecurity Is...

We're told to embrace our insecurities, I'm just not sure how
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Everyone has things their insecure about. A few of mine are my thighs (I’m Charlotte from Sex and the City), my sense of humor, and my intelligence. Overall of those insecurities, there’s one that is above the rest, and it is my ability of being a good person.

My mom is the most amazing person you will ever meet. She is like Mother Teresa to me. She is the person that does the right thing no matter what, even if she knows she is going to get screwed over. For years, my mom has demonstrated what it means to be a good person, and honestly watching her, I have absolutely no idea if I have what it takes.

A lot of people are scared of becoming their mom, but I’m scared that I won’t be like her. Everyday I think to myself, WWLD (what would Lee do?) when I’m faced with a tough situation, and most of the time it turns out okay. Other times, I just choose not to think WWLD, and that is what gets me in trouble.

Overall, I think that I am a pretty good person, but I don’t know if I am the best. It drives me crazy sometimes when I think at night of how I could be a better person that day. It’s almost as if I’m looking in the mirror and thinking how I could get my thighs smaller. Like I said, it’s not that I’m not a good person I do as much as I can for other people, whether they deserve it or not. I just know I can be better, and I’m insecure because I don’t know if I will ever get better.

A lot of people say insecurities are all in a person’s head and if they want to fix something about themselves they should do it. I get that. However, some things are easier said than done. For me, I am too emotional. Some may think, that I’m a raging female dog and am the worst person ever, but it has everything to do with the fact that I’m super sensitive. My sensitivity makes me act more on my emotions, rather than what’s the right thing to do.

Being a good person is being able to accept those emotions AND still being able to do what is right. I worry a lot, that I will not master that concept.

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12 Bible Verses For Faith In Hard Times

Remind yourself that God is always with you.
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Lately, I have felt lost at what God wants for my life. Ever since I've come back to UWG everything has been horrible. It seems that I can't catch a break. I'm trying my best to focus on school, work, and extracurricular activities. But it's hard when I'm having issues with my apartment/roommates and knowing my family back home is struggling and needs many prayers. All, I keep thinking is maybe Carrollton isn't where I belong anymore. I've asked God if He can guide me in the right direction. Below, I have found Bible verses that have helped get me through these rough, past couple of weeks.

1. Isaiah 43:2

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."

2. Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act."

3. Romans 8:18

"The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."

4. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed in strength, and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

5. Joshua 1:9

"Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous."

6. Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything and a reason for every activity under the heavens."

7. Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

8. Isaiah 66:9

"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord."

9. Psalm 91:4

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

10. Psalm 62:1-2

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him, He alone is my rock and my salvation."

11. Philippians 4:13

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

12. Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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Religion And Me: A Strained Relationship

I've just never felt spiritually connected to religion the way other people do.
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For me, religion has always been an awkward topic to discuss.

As the child of a Jewish father and a Catholic mother, I had conflicting theologies thrust upon me by both family members and religious leaders.

To illustrate this point, I had both a bris and a baptism within a week of each other (much to the chagrin of my Jewish family). My parents eventually decided that our family was of the Jewish faith, pushing Catholicism into the backseat of our proverbial family station wagon.

I never really questioned it, but there was always those lingering thoughts in the back of mind that I had to keep hidden away, lest I offend my beloved family. I felt myself doubting the validity of these theologies, seeing the holes in the sacred texts that all the religious world revered.

Then, it hit me:

I don't feel like I've ever really been spiritual in the first place.

Whenever I do bring this sentiment up to my family, a look of discontent washes over them.

"You won't feel that way once you're older," they say, patting my hand as if to reassure me when, in reality, they were reassuring themselves that I would soon be lead back to the flock.

I just can't see myself living a religious lifestyle, and that's perfectly okay.

A lot of people lead perfectly normal lives without religion, it really isn't the "alternative lifestyle" that some people make it out to be.

I don't see religion as apart of my identity. Sure, it's what I was raised on, but it isn't what makes me, me. It doesn't guide my moral compass nor does it affect how I live my life, I set those rules for myself.

Now, I'm not saying that those who are devout are wrong.

If they get their comfort and salvation from religion then that's perfectly okay with me. It's a free country, after all, and we are given the freedom to worship however we want.

However, I do have an issue with it when people use their religion to justify violence, hatred, or general intolerance.

I'll always enjoy the culture and traditions which make up religion. Later this week I'll have the pleasure of being able to experience the Met's exhibit "Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination" which is something I've been excited to see since it was announced.

I'll always love a good kosher deli and use Yiddish words and phrases when speaking with my family. I just don't want to be dominated by the religious part of it. I'd rather live my life by my own rules rather than by the rules set before me by a higher power.

Maybe someday I'll come back to religion, but for right now I'd rather live my life the way I want to.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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