Disclaimer: I’d like to start this off by saying you will laugh. You will cry. You will want to kick my ass after reading this, but when don’t you want to?

Dear Jacqueline,

You may not know this, but for the past 20 years, you have the been the one person I have always aspired to be. You’ve always been smart, talented, and so easy going that if it weren’t for you and your guidance, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Growing up, we weren’t super close. I would always look at friends with their siblings and wonder if we were ever going to be like that or if we were just going to continue to fight for the rest of our lives. Our relationship has dealt with a lot of ups and downs. As you like to constantly remind me, you’re four years older so you know more than I do. As much as I hate to admit it, I know you’re right.

As we’ve aged, I feel like our relationship continues to grow and become stronger and stronger. I just want to let you know how thankful I am for that. You’re always there for me. When I look back on the times in my childhood where we didn’t get along, you would still be there for me - especially when it came to bullies or mean girls calling me names. You were kind of like my bodyguard always willing to protect me. And you still are.

From you, I’ve learned to stick up for myself and not take no for answer. I’ve learned that I need to work hard for what I want just like our mother had to while raising us all on her own. I’ve learned to be smart, loyal, and how to get away with things when it came to Mom. Being the youngest, it’s definitely been easier for me to do that. So, thank you for taking the heap all of these years.

One of my favorite things about you is your blunt honesty. Even though I may take what you say the wrong way sometimes (actually most of the time), I know that you always mean well and that you’re just looking out for me. You have no idea how much strength that builds within me whenever you act tough. It reminds me once again to get over it and be strong.

Strength is the one quality that you have always held. That’s how I’ve always thought of you – a strong woman whether you see it or not. Whenever I feel weak, you are there to remind with, “Jessica, we are Xiques’s. We don’t do that shit.” That has always stuck with me. Strength has always been something easy for you to obtain whether it be physical or emotional. And as I go on with my life, I wish to hold that to the same degree.

Because of your strength, you always go above and beyond. Even though you have this hard exterior, underneath lies a caring soft soul that no one could ever replicate. You deserve to know how much you are genuinely appreciated and loved. As much as I've said that I've hated you, I don't. I don't think I ever could because you've shown time and again what it takes to be, not only a badass, but an amazing sister. I will never stop looking up to you, and you will never stop being my rock and most importantly, my role model. Here’s to the future. I pray that my kids hold a bond that can never be broken just like we do.

Love,
The biggest pain in your ass