It's that time of year! If your university participated in delayed recruitment, having recruitment second semester, then girls on campus are all buzzing about Big/Little week. This is basically a second Christmas. Your bigs leave all kinds of stuff outside your door every night, and it all culminates to a big reveal at the end of the week. Here is Big/Little Week as told by "The Office."
To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.
When I tell you something, please listen.
I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.
Forgive my past.
My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.
I’m just another bro to the other guys.
I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.
I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.
To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.
I’m hard to love.
Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.
I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.
When “I’m done.”
When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.
For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.
I feel like I live a double life. Some weekends I spend going to date parties and sports games. Other weekends, I am stuck in a field doing land navigation and eating MREs (Meals Ready to Eat). A friend once described this lifestyle as having "multiple hats." She explained it as you have a hat for each different part of your life. For example, my main difference is my ROTC and sorority hat.
ROTC stands for Reserve Officer Training Corps. In the short term, this means that I am training to be an Officer in the United States Army. When I graduate college, I will then start my career in the Army. The way I present my "ROTC hat" now is going to determine my career later on. My hat shows me I have to be motivated and strict. My obligations include dedicating my mornings, class time, and extra volunteer hours to ROTC. Being up at 5 a.m. three days a week and taking 21 credit hours my second semester of college is a perfect example of why I have to stay motivated and strict on my self.
Being in a sorority, however, is the perfect breath of fresh air that helps me stay sane. It is a support system and friendship. My sorority helps me realize that college is supposed to be a fun life experience, not just a step in life. My "sorority hat" is carefree and fun. Although I am very busy with my other obligations, my sorority makes it easy to stay involved with date parties and philanthropy events.
In my position, I have been very overwhelmed trying to be successful with every hat I put on. Coming into college, I was very skeptical about sorority recruitment because I was worried about not being able to juggle it all. I am here now finishing up my freshman year of college, so thankful I pushed myself to be completely submerged in involvement. Being as involved as I am has helped me gain best friends as well as great memories.
I have been pushed to the limit these past two semesters, but it shows me what I am capable of. Finishing my freshman year, I am more confident in myself and what I want in life. Having these obligations has helped me develop time management skills. With the help of my two hats, I stay level headed and they have helped me realize that I can be who I want to be. Just because I am in ROTC does not mean I have to fit in a cookie cutter shape of being a cadet, just like being in a sorority does not mean I am a reflection of the stereotype of sorority girls. Just in my first year of college, I have already learned so much from both of these organizations and they have helped me develop into who I am today.