Why Should We, Those Who Are Bi Or Pan, Pick A Side?

Why Should We, Those Who Are Bi Or Pan, Pick A Side?

I'm constantly forced to pick a side even though I am currently in a relationship that exhibits heterosexuality.


I have not so recently been confronted with the fact that my mother is not very open to the idea that her daughter likes men and female. Her reaction was for me to pick one side, to either be heterosexual or homosexual, but not the bisexual because it does not make sense. That comment got me thinking, why is it that bisexuals or pansexuals or any person whose sexual attraction is to two or more, are forced to pick a side?

Here is the thing (and I can only talk for bisexuals for I am one), bisexuals are called greedy because they do not leave any for the rest of the world, even though the world has 7.7 billion people. The irony of 'being greedy' is that it does not work in the way people uses it. A male bisexual can only date homosexual males and straight females...and female bisexual can only date homosexual females and straight guys. With that in mind, if you're a straight man telling that to a bisexual woman, you still have a lot of women out there (the same applies vice-versa). For the record, straight people are not the only demanding us to be one; several LGBTQ+ members are doing the same it's frustrating.

The probable reason why LGBTQ+ members want bisexuals to pick a side is because of this strange rumor that all bisexuals are cheaters. I do not know why we are labels as unfaithful when sexual orientation has nothing to with loyalty. I will admit that younger generations are more open-minded to bisexuals and pansexuals which is a relief. The younger generation is more open-minded in general, they don't think of 'pick a side' but more of 'love is love and work hard to get far in life.'

All I am saying is that the mentality of forcing a bisexual or pansexual to pick a side should cease from existing as well as generalizing an entire community; yes, bisexuals have their community due to the lack of welcoming from some member of the LGBTQ+ community, but that's a topic for another time; from experience someone had with a bisexual. On that note, stop asking for a threesome, it's awkward and very weird to have that label on your sexuality when you just might not be into that. Besides, instead of falling into assumption and just being plain rude, wouldn't it better to get educated on LGBTQ+?

Popular Right Now

20 Rules Of A Southern Belle

It is more than just biscuits and grits.

These unwritten rules separate the people that move to the South and were born and raised in the South. If you were born and raised in a small southern town, you either are a southern belle or hope you get to marry one. Their southern charm is hard to dislike and impossible to be taught.

1. Adults are to be answered with "Yes ma’am" and "Yes sir."

Whether it’s your parents, grandparents, or the person that checks you out at the grocery store, always say yes ma’am.

2. Always write a thank you note.

For any and everything. No gesture is too small.

3. Expect a gentleman to hold the door open and pull out your chair.

Chivalry is not dead; you just need to find the right guy.

4. All tea is sweet.

Below the Mason-Dixon Line, tea is made no other way.

5. Don’t be afraid to cook with butter.

I’ve never met a good cook that didn’t giggle a little.

6. “Coke” refers to all sodas.

Here in the south, this means all types of sodas.

7. Pearls go with anything — literally anything

And every southern belle is bound to have at least one good set.

8. "If it’s not moving, monogram it."

9. Pastels are always in fashion.

And they look good on almost everyone.

10. And so is Lilly Pulitzer.

11. Curls, curls and more curls.

The bigger the hair, the closer to Jesus.

12. If you are wearing sandals, your toenails should be done.

13. Never ever ever wear white shoes, pants, dresses, or purses after Labor Day or before Easter.

Brides are the only exception. Yes we actually do follow this rule.

14. Never leave the house without lipstick.

A little mascara and lipstick can work miracles.

15. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle.

Weddings are taken very seriously here in the South, and they should be nothing but traditional.

16. Southern weddings should always be big.

The more bridesmaids the better.

17. Saturdays in the fall are reserved for college football.

Whether you spend it tailgating in that college town or watching the big game from your living room. You can guarantee that all southerner’s eyes will be glued to the game.

18. Sunday is for Jesus and resting.

19. Learn how to take compliments curiously.

20. Have class, always.

Cover Image Credit: Daily Mail

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

It's 2019, And I Can Confirm One Size Does Not Fit All, At All

I'll take feeling good over meeting your standards. Thank you.


We live in a society where being yourself and expressing who you truly are is something that is becoming more and more accepted and is actually trendy. Left and right, people are coming forward and declaring who they are and want to be in life and there is a crowd of people there to cheer them on.

There is also always that small percent sitting in the corner, ready to throw derogatory comments and taint the self-love, respect, and acceptance that's flowing.

Every single time this happens, the internet breaks and feuds form in the comment sections. How many times does this fight have to be had before people just mind their own business? How someone looks is frankly none of your concern. Whether you think the person is too fat, too skinny, too girly, too rough, too whatever, it's none of your business.

I'm a firm believer that one should focus on their own life instead of living to tear others down. You should be more concerned with feeling good in your own body than wasting your energy trying to make people ashamed of theirs. It's not your place to comment on someone's appearance.

We should work on building up confidence and feeling good in our skin. Exercising, working on your mental health, and surrounding yourself with good energy will improve your life exponentially. DO NOT do this to achieve an aesthetic or try to look like an Instagram model. Only do it to feel good about yourself internally. What you look like on the outside should only matter to you.

I would be lying if I said I didn't fall victim to countless beautiful women who post their swimsuit photos looking like they stepped out of Vogue magazine. I would be lying if I said I didn't struggle with my own body image and have to remind myself daily that it's okay to not fit their mold. I won't lie to you. We live in a world that feels the need to comment on every inch of our skin rather than focus on more important issues. Shut off the noise and ignore the words that are given in hate. You have better things to do than focus on their negativity.

Make your own mold.

Related Content

Facebook Comments