My Best Friend Broke Up With Me And I Want To Know Why

My Best Friend Broke Up With Me And I Want To Know Why

I still haven't discovered the reason why you left me the way you did, or why you did at all.
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It's a lot like a breakup.

Sometimes I go days without thinking about you. And sometimes I'm driving home at night, and a song comes on the radio that we used to blast in the car while driving to parties, or dance around in our dorm room to, and it all comes flooding back. Sometimes it almost feels like I'm back in that moment, with you.

You were my best friend in college. My roommate. My rock. You brought me home to your family for Easter. Every night with you was a fun sleepover. We stayed up too late talking and eating Cheez-it's and watching serial killer documentaries on Netflix.

We did our homework together, we ate our meals together, we went everywhere together. We spent many nights ordering pizza in and singing along to old Taylor Swift music videos. We would have done anything for each other. And I still would.

The way you ended our friendship was incredibly painful, because you dragged it out over a few months. As soon as you got a boyfriend, I was demoted in your life's priorities. Slowly, you stopped eating meals with me. You stopped answering my texts. You stopped caring about me.

When I came crying to you after a breakup, all you could say was "oh" before leaving the dorm, and I didn't see you for days. And then, you stopped talking to me completely.

But not only did you abandon me in my time of need, you began to disrespect me. You talked about me behind my back. You turned our "friends" against me. You actively excluded me from what used to be our friend group. You ignored me in public. You un-friended me on social media. And that's when I knew our friendship was over.

I went home one weekend and was watching my favorite movie, "The Great Gatsby" when I received the first text from you in weeks, informing me that you were moving out next week.

I was shocked. You had made it clear you didn't like me anymore, but I didn't expect you to leave me and move across campus in the middle of the semester. I guess I was just that horrible to be around. I wondered aimlessly where my best friend had gone.

When I got back to campus the next day, I unlocked the door to find all of your stuff completely gone. Our dorm never looked so empty, and I never felt so empty. I tried to hide the pain, but I was heartbroken. It felt like I had been broken up with.

That's when I noticed that not only did you un-friend me on all forms of social media, you also blocked me. I was floored when I went to your Twitter page and read that you had blocked me. The pain only got worse when a friend showed me your Twitter page on her own phone. I read over 20 Tweets directly aimed at me, insulting my personality, my intelligence, and more. I have never felt so hurt as I did right then. I was so betrayed.

I still haven't discovered the reason why you left me the way you did, or why you did at all. I never wavered in my friendship, love and support for you. I supported you in all your endeavors, helped you out in hard times, and was always your biggest cheerleader. Why you kicked me away like an abused puppy, I guess I'll never know.

You trying to erase me from your life continued. I visited your Instagram page to find you had deleted all photos of me and us. Same move an ex-boyfriend would make to pretend you never existed.

So I've been trying to make peace with myself, that I will perhaps never know why you broke up with your best friend. Or maybe I was never your best friend at all, if you could throw me away so easily and treat me so badly, when I am left unaware as to what I did to upset you so and merit such abuse.

And the pain of not knowing what was so wrong about me that turned my best friend against me so terribly is worse than any guy deciding he no longer wants to date me.

What you did to me still hurts, and the lack of closure makes it difficult to reflect on our friendship sometimes. Where did things fall apart? Where did I go wrong? These are questions I've been asking myself less and less frequently.

One day, it seems, you simply changed your mind about me, that I was no longer worthy of your friendship.

So I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. Hope you find somebody who is. I wish you only the best.

Cover Image Credit: Magic 4 Walls

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15 Things You Realize As Your Baby Brother Grows Up

No matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby brother.
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Despite the fistfights and days of locking each other out of the house, a little brother is one of the biggest blessings you can receive. Most sisters can agree that they probably bossed their brothers around a lot when they were younger (and probably still do). Most sisters have also most likely forced their brothers to participate in many games that were only enjoyable for one party (baby dolls, house, dress up, etc.)

As a little brother grows up, you start to realize a lot of things as they become your lifelong best friend. Here are 15 of them:

1. He will outgrow you

Even though you were once able to beat him in a wrestling match, and have a fair game of tag, as you get older, he begins to pass you up in size and you realize it probably isn't in your best interest to pick a fight.

2. Teenage boy sass is a real thing

So many times, girls get a bad rep for the teenage phase, but let me tell you, teenage boys have just as much sass if not more than the average hormonal girl. But you also realize that you will get through it, and he is still your sweet brother somewhere deep, deep down.

3. He will go through a phase when he is too cool for you

Your whole life you have been used to your little brother looking up to you and wanting to be just like you and do all the things you do. This probably really annoyed you at some point too and I know I found the words "stop copying me" coming out of my mouth a lot. Don't wish it away, enjoy these times because there hits a point where he will want to do their own thing for a while.

4. He will begin to form his own opinions, and he is actually really smart

He still looks up to you, but there comes a time when he actually starts to contradict and challenge your opinions, and his arguments are surprisingly really good. You learn a lot from your little brother, so start listening to what they have to say sometimes.

5. No girl will ever be good enough for him

When he brings a girl home, you can't help but judge everything about her (no pressure) because to you, no girl will match up to his awesomeness. You know you are annoying, over-controlling, and overly judgmental, but you can't help it, he is your baby brother after all.

6. Regardless of how old or big he gets, if anyone messes with him, you will "beat them up"

I am not a fighter, but somehow anytime someone messes with my little brother, I get the ego of Muhammed Ali and believe that I can beat anyone up. Even now that he has outgrown me by about six inches and 50 pounds and is definitely a lot stronger than me, I still threaten to protect him because for some reason I feel like I can defend him better than he can himself. If anyone shoves him on the soccer field or says something mean to him at school, all of the sudden the big sister is the most intimidating and feisty little 5'4" girl there is out there.

7. He has your back

The once quiet and shy boy you outspoke as a child is not afraid to stand up for you. Even if he knows you're wrong, he is just as protective of you as you are of him and he will always be there for you whether you need a shoulder to cry on, you've had a fight with your friends and need someone to talk to, or a guy blows you off and you just need dairy queen and a movie night.

8. People will think he is your boyfriend and vice versa

As little kids, you were obviously the big sister, but now that he has outgrown you, hit puberty and matured, people mistake him as your boyfriend all the time. When you go to dinner and get the "you are such a cute couple" comment, you can't help but laugh.

9. All of his academic success is obviously all thanks to you

All the days you forced him to play "school" with you and tried to teach him everything you knew paid off because he actually knows what he is doing now. You're welcome.

10. Every year he turns another year older, you freak out because you remember how old you felt when you were his age, and it is not possible for him to be that old

No, no, no. He is little. He cannot drive just because he is 16. That is scary. [Only you were mature enough and ready to drive at 16.] There is no way that he is already 18 and can vote. You will never get used to the fact that he is growing up at the same pace as you are.

11. He is the one person who defies your theory that you are never wrong

He always has your best interests in mind, so if he disapproves of a guy, or questions a choice you are making, he is most likely right, just listen to him. Seriously, it will save you time in the future.

12. You will always worry about him

Yes, you are annoying and you know he can handle himself, but the thought of him ever getting hurt kills you. Every time he goes out or takes a risk, you worry about him. However, you also know and trust that he is smart and makes good choices, and if he ever doesn't, you will always be here to save the day, duh!

13. You are his biggest fan

And you are absolutely obnoxious at sporting games and other events. You are the first person to yell at the referee when he gets fouled and the loudest person screaming when he scores a goal. You also find yourself bragging about him to your friends because you are just so proud, and you taught him everything he knows (duh again).

14. He is your best friend

You can tell him anything and he can tell you anything. You guys have a pact and he won't tell your secrets. He's your person, and you have come to find out that he actually gives great advice when you give him the chance to talk.

15. No matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby brother

No matter how old my brother gets, we still say "I love you" every night and he will always be my little baby brother who I watch over and protect, always. I know I have a lifelong best friend who I can lean on during hard times, and celebrate with when the times are good. Bless up.

Special shoutout to my baby brother, Luke, for teaching me so much about myself and always being there for me.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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My Life Is Better Knowing My Brothers Are In It

It is an honor to be selected to serve.

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To my fellow brothers of the Lambda Delta Chapter of Kappa Kappa Psi,

I can't imagine my life without you. You have been the most important group I think I have ever been a part of. You've shown me what it truly means to serve.

College is hard. We all know that. But it is less hard when you have a band of thirty other people you can go to for any kind and every kind of support.

Whether it's a hug or "spilling tea" you guys always know how to make me feel better when I'm down or stressed. You make the good times better. And band wouldn't be the same without my brothers by my side.

You all show me what it means to serve the band through your actions every day, every band rehearsal, every game day. You push me to be a better brother, whether you realize it or not.

To my Xinosaurs: You of all the people in this fraternity are the ones who helped me the most throughout my time as a brother. You know what I went through and how I felt because you all went through it, too and felt the same things I did.

You guys helped me through a really hard semester and made me feel like I was supposed to continue on. When I wanted to quit my process because I had a lot on my plate, almost too much to handle, you guys helped me through and realized that, yeah, things were tough, but we would get through it all together as a class.

To my triplets: I love you both more than you could possibly know. We have had some of the best times together, and I couldn't have asked for a better set of people to be my triplets! You guys light up my life and I am so happy to have you!

To my little: Amelia, it has been so wonderful to watch you grow into the brother you are today. You not only serve the band as the secretary, but you go above and beyond what is expected of you as a brother. You make me want to become a better brother! You inspire me in so many ways, and I love you to pieces Little!

I love this chapter, this fraternity, this band, and most especially these people! You are all my people and I love you! You make me a better person. I am so, so, so lucky to have you all in my life, active and alumni. Thank you so much for all that all of you guys do for me. You don't know how much it means to me that you're all in my life.

Love you always,

Emma

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