I remember being told that college is a fresh start, that you can be anybody you want to be. But, in my experience, pretending to be someone you’re not, even if it’s someone you really want to be, doesn’t actually help.
I learned this pretty early on once I got to college, which meant that I had to readjust how I lived my life with my personality.
I’m not exactly what's considered social, take a look at any of my past articles and that will become clear. But, I value family, friendships, and loyalty as top priorities in my life, which made moving to place where I knew no one kind of terrifying.
From all the movies I’ve seen, I equated a best friend, like maid-of-honor level, to mean someone you meet in college. But that obviously didn’t stop me from continuing my existing friendships, if anything I clung to them for dear life.
I figured that if everyone finds a best friend in college, it’ll just happen and I won’t have to worry about it. If you haven’t guessed by now, that hasn’t happened.
As an extremely anxious person, whether or not I come off as such, I struggle to even start a conversation, let alone seek out and maintain friendships with new people. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have any friends at college, but the truth is, there is an emotional distance.
It took me years and years, basically my whole childhood, to create the friendships and relationships I have in my hometown. I’m only at college for four years, so what did I really expect?
To be fair, I can be emotionally distant, yet another fun fact of my personality. But, even the most “low maintenance” kind of friendships include wanted to be around each other, at least in my case.
I didn’t come to college looking for best friends or sisters, I had both of those already.
You realize who prioritizes you by how they respond to you. At the mention of my coming home, I got an excited and happy response from my friends back home, whereas my friends here, who live only miles or blocks away from me, I barely see or hear from.
I don’t think there is anyone to blame when this happens, some friendships just don’t work out the same way as others. And in my case, they worked out before I go to college.
I appreciate all the friends I’ve made, here at college and at home, and I am not comparing them as people. But, it is important to recognize the strength and type of friendship you have with someone so that everyone is on the same page.
Like everyone else, I can’t wait for summer break. And while I know that means working my full-time job, it also means making the memories with my best friends, ones that will last me through my next year of college.