She's My Soulmate, But Not In The Way You'd Think

She's My Soulmate, But Not In The Way You'd Think

Ironically, the miles between us keep us closer.

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Some may believe that a best friend is someone who you spend every moment with, share every memory with, and talk to at every single moment. Additionally, others may think that a soulmate has to be that special person who you are romantic with. For me, neither of these arguments are the case. I believe my soulmate is my best friend, not because I'm in love with her, but because she brings out the best in me. She completely gets me even though our friendship is through long distance.

My best friend and "soulmate" is someone who I have not known for that long, only since this past summer of 2018. She is dedicated, caring, ambitious, strong, and incredibly sassy. She is the person who perfectly complements yet counteracts my passive vibe with her fierce attitude. My best friend is amazing, and her name is Reigan. I cannot begin to thank her enough for what she has taught me, even if she hasn't realized it.

I met Reigan at my job, which is at a seafood restaurant called Mr. Shrimp in Belmar, New Jersey. We were both hosts this summer and automatically got along well. Her ability to make me laugh cannot be measured. I went through numerous difficult times this summer, and Reigan was and continues to be my partner in crime. When we met, we hung out as much as we could because we were a new and exciting duo. Even today, our friendship is a fire that can't be ceased.

Since I'm a sophomore in college who goes to school in West Chester and Reigan is still a high-school senior in New Jersey, we never get to see each other. I do not live at the Jersey Shore anymore, and my new hometown is in Easton, Pennsylvania, so this makes it even harder to come up with plans. Even though our situation is difficult, it doesn't challenge us! We keep in contact almost every day, and she is one of the few people I can vent to with pure honesty. She is always there, and is constantly checking on me to make sure that I am okay and always throws positive words my way!

Our friendship is unique compared to others I have because in my heart it truly feels like a bond that can't be broken. Our personalities work so well together! Because I strongly believe in Zodiac horoscopes, maybe the stars aligned for us to meet. I am a Sagittarius and Reigan is a Taurus, so our principles are meant to agree because we can disagree about certain things! Either way, she is my sunshine and always puts me in a fabulous mood.

I feel very appreciative to have a friend like her by my side. She taught me what confidence is. There are times when I have felt really insecure, just like any other human being. Reigan teaches me strength, resilience, and diligence. She is one of the most hardworking and incredible people I know. Her bold nails and contagious smile will continue to resonate with me. I hope she knows that she is on my wavelength and I will always have her back. I'll never forget the valuable things she has implemented in me solely by being the person she is.

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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Stop Assuming Your Queer Friends Are Going To End Up Falling For You

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none.

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Ever since I came out my senior year, I've encountered bumps of my friendships due to my sexuality. I think people understand gay, lesbian, and bisexual identities rather well. However, there are other members of the LGBTQ+ community that isn't as understood as well.

I identify as pansexual but start using the term queer. Essentially, I don't have a preference if someone identifies as female or male. When it comes to love and relationships, I care about the quality of the person and if I'm getting the love and respect I deserve.

However, to some of my friends, they seemed to become afraid. They distanced themselves in our friendships in fear I would end up falling for them.

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none. You are my friend for a reason. If I liked you, I would honestly be too nervous to talk to you.

It's nice to know to have that kind of self-confidence where you think everyone has a crush on you. That's the attitude to have because you are a pretty great person. However, sorry to break it to you, but you just are not my type.

There is absolutely no reason to cut off a friendship just because you don't understand. Your queer friends would probably like you to ask questions. It can be a sign you care about them and showing support. There is nothing wrong with asking questions either. When you're in class and you don't know anything, then you ask a question. When you are getting to know someone, you ask questions. Even if you knew this person for a while, ask away!

I think there is a stigma of not knowing something and feeling embarrassed. However, it shouldn't be this way. We should embrace the unknown, learn, and grow from it. It's 2019. It's all about being open-minded to differences. We have to do better for the next generation.

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