Breaking Up With My Boyfriend Made Our Friendship Even Stronger

Breaking Up With My Boyfriend Made Our Friendship Even Stronger

We're soulmates, but in a friend way.

Being friends with your ex: yay or nay?

I'm willing to bet most people say nay. And in most cases, I would agree. I have ex-boyfriends who hurt me so badly that I wouldn't give them the time of day now.

But the truth is that I'm best friends with my ex-boyfriend.

It isn't a secret either. We dated for two years, from 2013-2015. I decided to break it off because it became obvious that we just weren't meant to be together romantically. I knew we would be better off as friends.

Two years later, Dan and I have remained the best of friends. We talk every day, and hang out at least once a week, whether it be hanging out at home cooking pasta in the kitchen, running to WalMart, or going out to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

We binge watch "Law and Order: SVU together," while eating ice cream on the couch. We play video games together and roast each other the entire time.

He is still a part of my family, and I am still a part of his. Every summer I accompany him to his family's beach house for a family reunion. I was his date to his mom's wedding. When my grandfather was in the hospital, Dan came with me to visit him. When Dan graduated college this year, he gave me a ticket, and when his name was called during commencement, I cried like a baby.

I've helped him move homes several times, including into his freshman year dorm. We give each other birthday and Christmas presents every year (even though most of the time they are gag gifts).

To most, this probably sounds really weird. How can you be that close with someone you dated?

Our connection is so strong that we have never felt awkward with each other, even though we often make people around us feel awkward. We joke around and have fun just like we always have. He's the best friend I could ever ask for. He's always there for me to lift me up when I'm feeling down, and he is my biggest supporter.

He literally knows me better than I know myself.

Our relationship makes people uncomfortable, including guys I have dated since. I don't expect anyone to understand how our relationship works. It may be unusual, but that doesn't make our friendship any less valid than anyone else's. Almost everyone questions it though. How can you be just friends with someone you were with for two years?

To us, the labels don't matter. We've been best friends for over four years now, and although we tried dating, it just didn't work out. We're soulmates in a friend way, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Cover Image Credit: Dahlia DeHaan

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30 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

Things a best male friend would tell you.

1. The sexy, crazy fun girl doesn’t always win the guy.
Yes, we are attracted to the fun party girls that never settle down, but at the end of the day, we can’t bring those girls home to meet our moms. Every guy is looking for the sweet, beautiful and down-to-earth girl that makes us laugh, keeps us grounded and believes in us. We want a girl that we can talk to about more than just how many shots we can take before we blackout. Guys want to date a Megan Fox and marry an Emma Watson.

2. Men are not mind readers.

3. Sunday sports are like the sun rising in the East and setting in the West. It's a fact of life, and you've just got to let it be.

4. When a game is on, please only talk during commercials.

5. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, so neither do we.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let me be really clear about this one. Whether the hint is subtle or obvious, we're probably not going to get what you're trying to say. So, just tell us what you want.

7. Anything said a week ago becomes null and void and cannot be brought up in an argument again.

8. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how to do it. Not both.

9. We only see about 16 colors.
For example, the term "peach" is a fruit, not a color.

10. If we ask what’s wrong, and you reply, "Nothing," we will act as if nothing is wrong.
We probably know that you’re lying, but it’s not worth the fight.

11. You have enough of my fraternity shirts.
Don’t keep asking for more, and don’t just take them. You have to earn them.

12. Stop telling me to make you my #WCW.
Everyone gets annoyed with the couples that make each other their #MCM or #WCW every week; we will not be that couple.

13. It’s not attractive to hear you talk bad about other girls.
I know you don’t like one of your sisters because she stole your Big-Little shirt idea, but keep that talk for your sisters, not us.

14. Being smart is very attractive.
We want a girl that can read a book and carry on a good conversation.

15. Allow me to open the door for you.
Don’t let chivalry die. I know you’re 100 percent capable of opening the door yourself, but see it as a nice gesture. It’s something our dad taught us to do.

16. I’m going to try and fix your problems.
Don’t vent to me if you don’t want me to try and fix what’s going on. That’s what guys do.

17. Don’t take my fries.
I’m a growing man, and I need my food but will gladly take whatever you don’t eat.

18. Don’t be dramatic.
Guys don’t like girls that are crazy about drama, plain and simple. If you enjoy the attention that getting jealous gets you, you will not get my attention.

19. Don’t say you miss me after an hour or a day.
That’s when you begin to edge into the "clingy" zone.

20. It’s okay to compliment us.
We like when you tell us we look good. We will just never say that out loud.

21. But don’t call us "pretty" or "beautiful."
This is not "Twilight," we do not sparkle, and we are not "pretty".

22. “I’m not looking for a relationship” can sometimes be directly translated to "You’re great, but we’re just not ready to be tied down quite yet."

23. We’re all on that college budget.
So know that we would like to give you the world, but can only afford the dollar menu sometimes.

24. If my friends don’t approve of you, then odds are we won't be able to date.
The same sentiment goes for my family.

25. I will smile, but not 100 times.
I’ll take pictures because you want to, but if I’m being honest, you’re going to look just as good in the first one as you will in 100th one you force someone to take.

26. We don’t always have to be doing something.
We can enjoy Netflix and a large pizza.

27. You have too many shoes.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. Don't ask a question that you don't want an answer to.

30. We are in shape. Round IS a shape.

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'I Hope The Dog Is OK' And 11 Other Things You Think After A Breakup

Wondering how the family is doing doesn't make me crazy, right?


It finally happened. Whether it was mutual or rough on one side or the other, you broke up. Now, as you creep into single life and try to learn how to handle this crazy aspect of life again, it is completely reasonable that your mind is all over the place. You will think of your ex, their family, and even their pets at least once. If we're being honest, it will happen a few times. When it does, it may or may not drive you crazy.

Here are 13 things you will undoubtedly think about after a breakup, no matter how bad it is.

1. I wonder how his parents reacted


Does his mom hate me? Did his dad high-five him because he's secretly happy I'm gone? Did they scold him for letting a good girl go? I have to know.

2. How soon after this will he get into another relationship?


Should I even be concerned about that? It's not my business anymore. But what if someone tells me?

3. I hope the dog is OK


I think I loved the dog more than him anyway...

4. Will the dog know I'm gone and miss me?


I'm so sorry, fur baby. No one meant to hurt you.

5. I hope his mom hates the new girl


I was so perfect. She was practically considering me her daughter already. I'd like to see the new girl achieve that.

6. I'd like to see him do better than me


He can't. He won't.

7. No one else will put up with his annoying quirks, right?


The snoring, the too-loud laughter, the overuse of the word "like"... ugh.

8. I really miss those quirks


They were annoying, but sometimes they were so cute.

9. I hope his friends miss me


I fit right into the group. They have to wonder where I went.

10. If he texts me I'm not answering


Unless it's to tell me that his mom misses me. Then maybe.

11. Should I text him?


No... I can't. Can I?

12. I'm so much better off without him


Who needs boys, anyway? I can handle being single. I'll be fine.

13. I miss him


How can I miss him after all of that? Seriously? Seriously?! This cannot be happening.

Breakups are hard, but conflicting thoughts are harder.

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