The Best Cubs Jokes
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The Best Cubs Jokes

Choke Cubs Choke

The Best Cubs Jokes
Cubs Suck

Nothing is better than October baseball. And since the Cubs magically made it, nothing is better than giving a "Cubs fan" sh*t for their poor choice of a baseball team.

1. What's the difference between dirt and the Chicago Cubs?

Nothing...they both always get swept.

2. Why are the Chicago Cubs starting pitchers like orphans?

Because they don't know where home is.

3. What's the difference between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Chicago Cubs?

The last Phillies World Series team picture isn't in black and white.

4. What is the difference between a Chicago Cubs fan and a pot hole?

I would swerve to avoid the pot hole.

5. Whats the difference between the Chicago Cubs and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking.

6. What is the difference between a Cubs fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after awhile.

7. What do I have in common with the Chicago Cubs?

Next week, we'll both be watching the World Series on television.

8. How many Chicago Cubs does it take to change a tire?

One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

9. What do you call 40 millionaires around a TV watching the World Series?

The Chicago Cubs.

10. What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an Chicago Cubs fan?

The bucket.

11. What does an Chicago Cubs fan do when his team has won the World Series?

He turns off his Xbox.

12. Did you hear that Chicago's baseball team doesn't have a website?

They can't string three "Ws" together.

13. What's the difference between a hotdog from Wrigley Field and a hotdog from Busch Stadium?

You can buy a hotdog from Busch Stadium in October.

14. Why are Cubs fans the best to date?

They aren't expecting a ring.

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