We now live in a world where I have to fear walking alone at night. We live in a world that advises against me, a woman, doing anything alone past a certain hour of the day because something could happen to me at this place or that if I am alone. We live in a world that advises me to have my boyfriend with me “just in case”.
How did we get here? Were things always this bad? And why, in some cases, do I feel like I’m the problem?
In light of the Brock Turner case, and the various Odyssey articles about it—some in disagreement of his acts, and others, to my dismay, in support, in defense—I started to worry more and more about our world, and my safety within it.
Here’s a concept for you: Instead of warning girls to check their drinks to make sure they weren’t drugged, instead of advising us not to wear certain clothes so we don’t draw unwanted attention, advise people to not objectify others and take advantage of them. What about that? If I want to wear a tank top, I’m not doing it for the guy gawking at me on the street. I don’t owe you anything. I am not your prize to win if you smooth-talk me enough. I am not an object. I’m a person with thoughts and emotions who worries over people like you not taking no for an answer.
Why won’t you take no for an answer? Why must you persist and disrespect me if I politely deny your advances? All too often I see women getting called obscene names on social media and in public. And for what? Not giving a guy the attention they desired.
Why won’t you take no for an answer? Why do you think that you deserve our bodies and us, even if we don’t want you? We do not belong to you. We are not objects to take.
Why must you take advantage of us to get what you so desire? Do you feel that it is acceptable because you want it, and if you want something bad enough, the only answer is to get it in any way you can?
We now live in a world where I am scared to be a women. I am scared to be small and quiet and polite. (Because sometimes, even politeness isn’t enough to thwart unwanted attention.) Am I the problem, because he mistook my politeness for playing “hard to get”?
I deny your catcalls. You get angry. Am I the problem?
We now live in a world where I’m “asking for it” if I wear a tank top and shorts. Am I the problem?
We now live in a world where “no” doesn’t mean no. It means “convince me” or “force me against my will” or maybe even “I’m drunk and I don’t know what I’m saying”. So does the latter give you the right to take advantage of me? Am I the problem, because I drank too much?
We live in a world in which I live in fear because of who I am.
Women are not the problem. People who are objectified and taken advantage of are not, and will never be, the problem.
Society is.