"As a child, fat was the first-word people used to describe me, which didn't offend me until I found out it was supposed to" - Blythe Baird
Growing up, I have always had a problem with my weight. I was the biggest kid in all of my primary school classes and the obese child in the family. Of course, when I was little, I didn't know that "fat" was a derogatory word. I didn't even notice that I had a problem until I was told otherwise.
Every doctor visit became more about the weight shown on the scale rather than the reason I was there. Every Christmas photo became me standing next to Santa because I was afraid I would break his leg if I sat on it. Every school lunch became me giving my tray to someone else so I wouldn't have to eat the food on it.
My size became my life, and it ruined my self-esteem.
But then it all changed. After years of hating how big I was, I started changing. I learned to wear clothes that make me look and feel confident. I started looking at myself in the mirror and loving what I saw. I started smiling when trying on clothes. I started loving myself.
My weight was just a number - it no longer defined me as a person.
I did try to lose weight, but it was more about health than size. I shopped for clothes that fit my body and all of its beautiful curves. I eat what I want when I want now. When people call me fat to hurt me, I no longer let it resonate in my mind. I am big and I am beautiful.
Yeah, I am the "fat friend," but I wouldn't change that for a thing.