Being The Best Customer Ever
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Politics and Activism

Being The Best Customer Ever

Five tips from an experienced retail employee.

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Being The Best Customer Ever
Green Sky Creative

We’ve all seen those videos on YouTube or read the stories online about a customer that became the epitome of human indecency because the item they wanted was sold out or something. It goes without saying that those people are mocked and shamed by all.

I’ve been working in retail for quite a bit of time, and I can tell you right now that the people who become famous for being horrible customers very rarely appear in the store, and although we do poke fun at them, we don’t mock the well-known ones. No, it’s the customers that can’t be recorded that we shame in the cramped backroom as we lick our wounds and nurse our swollen feet.

But here’s the thing: not everyone intends to be a horrible customer. More likely than not, someone is only horrible by accident. I found this out as I was telling someone my own horror stories from retail when suddenly they gasped and said that they did the same thing as the customer I was complaining about.

She asked me what annoys retail employees the most, and after looking over my vast retail experience, here are a few tips that will help you become the best customer ever.

Or at the very least, a little more tolerable. Either works.

1. Communication is key.

Everyone likes to window shop, there’s no shame in it. This is perfectly fine. You don’t have to have a reason for being inside the store beyond wanting to be there. Just let them know that so that they aren’t hovering all over you, trying to sell you everything you look at.

More importantly though, for all that is good in this world, don’t wander around the store and force me to hover around you because you have no idea what you’re doing.

We would help the customers that wander the store that are obviously struggling, but because they said they were fine, we go back to doing other things, like helping another customer.

Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. We’re trained professionals (kind of) and we know what to do. Let us do our job.

2. Our job is to sell things.

We have a job and that’s to sell things and help customers, and all in that order. We are paid to think that every customer that walks through that door has a bag of cash and an insatiable desire to buy everything in sight. Unless told otherwise, we will treat you as such.

All those questions we ask, like if you want to sign up for a credit card, or a rewards membership, we don’t like asking them that much either, but we kind of have to. We’re instructed by the higher-ups to ask them. We get in trouble if we don’t.

We also ask because sometimes they’re worth it. If you shop frequently at a store, maybe, just maybe, you should think about getting their membership. If not, then just say no. There’s no need to become vocally hostile and tell me that I’m the epitome of human scum. That’s just wrong and it hurts my feelings.

3. We don’t make the prices.

Where I worked, we would offer to engrave items and would charge per word. It didn’t matter how long the word was, just so long as there wasn’t a space in between. In all honesty, we were sometimes cheaper than the other people, depending on what you wanted engraved.

More often than not, I would have a customer tell me I was ripping them off, or that they can find the items in store cheaper online, and then storm out of the store, while they’re still complaining.

Let me set the record straight once and for all: with the exception of independently owned businesses, the employees working the register have no say in the matter of prices. Ever. Sometimes, we get an email overnight telling us that an item has gone up in price and that we have to change all the signs to accommodate the price change. We hate it too, but there really is nothing we can do about it, and chewing us out because something is more expensive than what you’re willing to pay for it isn’t going to make us make it lower.

4. Don't lecture your children in the store.

I don't hate kids. I do extremely despise kids that won’t stop running around, or yelling in the store. Do you want to know why I extremely despise rowdy kids? It’s because the parents will decide to lecture them in the store. In front of everyone, and by lecture, I mean yell/threaten to beat them when you get the chance.

As a human, I understand that you can’t always leave the screaming child at home: sometimes you have to take them with you. As an employee: why are you going to bring in your child that you know is going to annoy you in a store with very expensive items that they can break? You know you're just going to yell bloody murder at them.

It just makes everything way too awkward to the point that we don't know if we should call someone, because you just threatened to beat the crap out of your child. Don't give us that dilemma. Please?

5. Understand that we are human.

Mistakes really suck, but they sometimes happen. I’m not talking about blatant ignorance on part of the employee, but rather the slip-up that’s caused because of some random error. We’re more than happy to fix something for you, but if you start going on about how we’re the worst people in the entirety of the planet, then nothing can get done. Trust me, we feel horrible about it.

We don’t want to be there when we feel horrible, but food is important. We need to make those pennies, and so we’ll be there even at our physically worst. Being a rude customer isn’t going to help anyone.

This also applies to when you’re having a bad day, because we don’t deserve to be on the crappy end of the stick. Bad days suck, and we can empathize a bit, but don’t take it out on us. We don’t need that on top of everything else.

You don’t want to have to get your aunt Carol that three-tiered angel snow globe that costs half a car payment, and we probably have a headache over the customer that just yelled at us for not having any more of the wooden frames that were on sale. Trust us, we understand.

Maybe we can get through this together.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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