Weight. It’s something that I’ve always struggled with. I’ve always compared myself to thin girls, wishing that I could look like that.

I want so badly to wear the cute bikinis on the beach and fit into the smallest sizes. I’ve always equated the size of my jeans to the concept of beauty. To find myself beautiful is always a struggle. I will stand in the mirror and analyze the stretch marks that run from my stomach to my thighs and the extra chub that would hang from my arms. Each day I find myself exhausted from critiquing the various things about my body. Sometimes I feel so uncomfortable in my own body that I don’t even want to leave my room. The process of learning how to love yourself for the way you are is difficult, but worth it. I often think about other girls who feel the same way as I do. I want for every girl who has ever felt like this to know that we’re strong, capable, and most importantly phat.

We’re taught that by possessing the physical matter of fat that it somehow correlates to the matter of our own self-worth. I want to demolish the line that connects the amount of fat on my stomach to the beauty of my mind. That the size of my clothes means more to you than the person I am. Society has told us that being bigger women is not appeasing to their gaze and we’re simply unlovable because of this. We do not exist to please the eyes of others, we exist to make our staple in the world. We exist to be business women, educators, doctors, movie stars, mothers, presidents, and much more. We’re more than the jeans we can’t fit into any more and more than the words said in laughter behind our backs. Allow yourself to be confident as you walk down the halls of your school or going for a walk in your neighborhood. Allow yourself to wear those sun dresses you bought that let your arms show. Allow yourself to wear those bikini’s that show off your stretch marks. Know that you’re beautiful and you are allowed to feel that way.

By spreading this message of empowerment, it can change at least one girls’ life. Especially when girls are often pit against one another. Try to compliment someone you see or even telling yourself that you look good today. One little thing can make a world of difference for some girls. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and good about themselves. To all my bigger girls out there stay confident and phat as you move forward in life.