Being Single In Your Twenties Is The Best Time To Be Single, Period

Being Single In Your Twenties Is The Best Time To Be Single, Period

"I've been thinking that the time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone." -How To Be Single
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Ah, your 20s. What a strange, stressful, fun and quick time your 20s are.

You thought your teenage years were bad? Well, your 20s are for sure a never-ending rollercoaster ride filled with friends who get engaged, get married, have babies on purpose and start settling down with their long-term significant other. Being in your 20s and not in a long-term relationship is frowned upon by most and if you're okay with being single, people start to worry about you.

You start to get the "Oh, you're still single?" and "aren't the holidays rough for you?" and "you need to lower your standards a bit" speeches from friends and family.

Truth is, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single in your 20s.

If you think about it in retrospect, once you are married you are committing to one person for hopefully the rest of your life. With modern day technology, your life can now last well into your 90s which means spending 70 years with someone. I don't know about you, but that's a long time to be with someone. So why are we in such a hurry to meet someone and settle down?

Yes, I know there are biological clocks to take into consideration, and compared to generations before us, we are marrying at much older ages, but there is this ugly stigma behind being single. To most people, being single means something is wrong with you because no one has snatched you up. Being single means you failed to maintain a healthy relationship with someone. Being single means you aren't pretty/handsome enough for someone to commit to you. Being single means something is wrong with you if you aren't in a hurry to find the love of your life.

Honestly, I think we get so obsessed with the idea of love and being with someone that we completely lose ourselves and forget what we want until we disappear completely. I think the best positive take on being single comes from the movie "How To Be Single," when Dakota Johnson's character says, "I've been thinking that the time we have to be single is really the time we have to get good at being alone."

Being single should be the time you have absolute freedom to do whatever you please and put yourself first. You don't have to think about hurting someone's feelings, being someone else or making someone happy you just have to do what makes you happy. This is the time to find yourself before you let someone else in on the picture. You have to love yourself first before you let someone else love you back.

I have to believe this is why the divorce rate is skyrocketing. Young people get married too quickly because they believe by 25 they should be settling down and getting married because everyone else is. Just because 25 is a good age for one couple to get married does not mean it is the perfect age for every 25-year-old to get married.

You have to have a selfish period of putting your needs and dreams first before you commit to a relationship. Relationships are all about sacrifices from both ends, but if you never get to have the freedom to do what you want, this can sometimes turn into resentment towards your partner which isn't fair or healthy.

I'm not saying that it's bad to be in a relationship in your 20s; some people are more relationship material than others and that's perfectly okay!

What I am saying is there should be no bad stigma behind being single. Being single should mean you are taking the time to learn how to stand on your own, deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend your life with, not the assumption that you're weird, ugly or incapable of love. As the saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait."

Be free, be careless and be happy. For this is just a brief time in your life that you get to see what you are truly made of. So call that girl who you thought was cute on Instagram or dance with that guy who bought you a drink at the bar. This does not exactly mean they are the one, but it allows you to try people head-on and see what you like and what you don't like. That way when you are ready to commit to someone, you'll know what you are looking for in your future boyfriend/girlfriend.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

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An Open Letter To Democrats From A Millennial Republican

Why being a Republican doesn't mean I'm inhuman.
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Dear Democrats,

I have a few things to say to you — all of you.

You probably don't know me. But you think you do. Because I am a Republican.

Gasp. Shock. Horror. The usual. I know it all. I hear it every time I come out of the conservative closet here at my liberal arts university.

SEE ALSO: What I Mean When I Say I'm A Young Republican

“You're a Republican?" people ask, saying the word in the same tone that Draco Malfoy says “Mudblood."

I know that not all Democrats feel about Republicans this way. Honestly, I can't even say for certain that most of them do. But in my experience, saying you're a Republican on a liberal college campus has the same effect as telling someone you're a child molester.

You see, in this day and age, with leaders of the Republican Party standing up and spouting unfortunately ridiculous phrases like “build a wall," and standing next to Kim Davis in Kentucky after her release, we Republicans are given an extreme stereotype. If you're a Republican, you're a bigot. You don't believe in marriage equality. You don't believe in racial equality. You don't believe in a woman's right to choose. You're extremely religious and want to impose it on everyone else.

Unfortunately, stereotypes are rooted in truth. There are some people out there who really do think these things and feel this way. And it makes me mad. The far right is so far right that they make the rest of us look bad. They make sure we aren't heard. Plenty of us are fed up with their theatrics and extremism.

For those of us brave enough to wear the title “Republican" in this day and age, as millennials, it's different. Many of us don't agree with these brash ideas. I'd even go as far as to say that most of us don't feel this way.

For me personally, being a Republican doesn't even mean that I automatically vote red.

When people ask me to describe my political views, I usually put it pretty simply. “Conservative, but with liberal social views."

“Oh," they say, “so you're a libertarian."

“Sure," I say. But that's the thing. I'm not really a libertarian.

Here's what I believe:

I believe in marriage equality. I believe in feminism. I believe in racial equality. I don't want to defund Planned Parenthood. I believe in birth control. I believe in a woman's right to choose. I believe in welfare. I believe more funds should be allocated to the public school system.

Then what's the problem? Obviously, I'm a Democrat then, right?

Wrong. Because I have other beliefs too.

Yes, I believe in the right to choose — but I'd always hope that unless a pregnancy would result in the bodily harm of the woman, that she would choose life. I believe in welfare, but I also believe that our current system is broken — there are people who don't need it receiving it, and others who need it that cannot access it.

I believe in capitalism. I believe in the right to keep and bear arms, because I believe we have a people crisis on our hands, not a gun crisis. Contrary to popular opinion, I do believe in science. I don't believe in charter schools. I believe in privatizing as many things as possible. I don't believe in Obamacare.

Obviously, there are other topics on the table. But, generally speaking, these are the types of things we millennial Republicans get flack for. And while it is OK to disagree on political beliefs, and even healthy, it is NOT OK to make snap judgments about me as a person. Identifying as a Republican does not mean I am the same as Donald Trump.

Just because I am a Republican, does not mean you know everything about me. That does not give you the right to make assumptions about who I am as a person. It is not OK for you to group me with my stereotype or condemn me for what I feel and believe. And for a party that prides itself on being so open-minded, it shocks me that many of you would be so judgmental.

So I ask you to please, please, please reexamine how you view Republicans. Chances are, you're missing some extremely important details. If you only hang out with people who belong to your own party, chances are you're missing out on great people. Because, despite what everyone believes, we are not our stereotype.

Sincerely,

A millennial Republican

Cover Image Credit: NEWSWORK.ORG

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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