Being Single In Your Twenties Is The Best Time To Be Single, Period

Being Single In Your Twenties Is The Best Time To Be Single, Period

"I've been thinking that the time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at being alone." -How To Be Single
633
views

Ah, your 20s. What a strange, stressful, fun and quick time your 20s are.

You thought your teenage years were bad? Well, your 20s are for sure a never-ending rollercoaster ride filled with friends who get engaged, get married, have babies on purpose and start settling down with their long-term significant other. Being in your 20s and not in a long-term relationship is frowned upon by most and if you're okay with being single, people start to worry about you.

You start to get the "Oh, you're still single?" and "aren't the holidays rough for you?" and "you need to lower your standards a bit" speeches from friends and family.

Truth is, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single in your 20s.

If you think about it in retrospect, once you are married you are committing to one person for hopefully the rest of your life. With modern day technology, your life can now last well into your 90s which means spending 70 years with someone. I don't know about you, but that's a long time to be with someone. So why are we in such a hurry to meet someone and settle down?

Yes, I know there are biological clocks to take into consideration, and compared to generations before us, we are marrying at much older ages, but there is this ugly stigma behind being single. To most people, being single means something is wrong with you because no one has snatched you up. Being single means you failed to maintain a healthy relationship with someone. Being single means you aren't pretty/handsome enough for someone to commit to you. Being single means something is wrong with you if you aren't in a hurry to find the love of your life.

Honestly, I think we get so obsessed with the idea of love and being with someone that we completely lose ourselves and forget what we want until we disappear completely. I think the best positive take on being single comes from the movie "How To Be Single," when Dakota Johnson's character says, "I've been thinking that the time we have to be single is really the time we have to get good at being alone."

Being single should be the time you have absolute freedom to do whatever you please and put yourself first. You don't have to think about hurting someone's feelings, being someone else or making someone happy you just have to do what makes you happy. This is the time to find yourself before you let someone else in on the picture. You have to love yourself first before you let someone else love you back.

I have to believe this is why the divorce rate is skyrocketing. Young people get married too quickly because they believe by 25 they should be settling down and getting married because everyone else is. Just because 25 is a good age for one couple to get married does not mean it is the perfect age for every 25-year-old to get married.

You have to have a selfish period of putting your needs and dreams first before you commit to a relationship. Relationships are all about sacrifices from both ends, but if you never get to have the freedom to do what you want, this can sometimes turn into resentment towards your partner which isn't fair or healthy.

I'm not saying that it's bad to be in a relationship in your 20s; some people are more relationship material than others and that's perfectly okay!

What I am saying is there should be no bad stigma behind being single. Being single should mean you are taking the time to learn how to stand on your own, deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend your life with, not the assumption that you're weird, ugly or incapable of love. As the saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait."

Be free, be careless and be happy. For this is just a brief time in your life that you get to see what you are truly made of. So call that girl who you thought was cute on Instagram or dance with that guy who bought you a drink at the bar. This does not exactly mean they are the one, but it allows you to try people head-on and see what you like and what you don't like. That way when you are ready to commit to someone, you'll know what you are looking for in your future boyfriend/girlfriend.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

Popular Right Now

I Am A College Student, And I Think Free Tuition Is Unfair To Everyone Who's Already Paid For It

Stop expecting others to pay for you.

3752
views

I attend Fordham University, a private university in the Bronx.

I commute to school because I can't afford to take out more loans than I already do.

Granted, I've received scholarships because of my grades, but they don't cover my whole tuition. I am nineteen years old and I have already amassed the debt of a 40-year-old. I work part-time and the money I make covers the bills I have to pay. I come from a middle-class family, but my dad can't afford to pay off my college loans.

I'm not complaining because I want my dad to pay my loans off for me; rather I am complaining because while my dad can't pay my loans off (which, believe me, he wants too), he's about to start paying off someone else's.

During the election, Bernie frequently advocated for free college.

Now, if he knew enough about economics he would know it simply isn't feasible. Luckily for him, he is seeing his plan enacted by Cuomo in NY. Cuomo has just announced that in NY, state public college will be free.

Before we go any further, it's important to understand what 'free' means.

Nothing is free; every single government program is paid for by the taxpayers. If you don't make enough to have to pay taxes, then something like this doesn't bother you. If you live off welfare and don't pay taxes, then something like this doesn't bother you. When someone offers someone something free, it's easy to take it, like it, and advocate for it, simply because you are not the one paying for it.

Cuomo's free college plan will cost $163,000,000 in the first year (Did that take your breath away too?). Now, in order to pay for this, NY state will increase their spending on higher education to cover these costs. Putting two and two together, if the state decides to raise their budget, they need money. If they need money they look to the taxpayers. The taxpayers are now forced to foot the bill for this program.

I think education is extremely important and useful.

However, my feelings on the importance of education does not mean that I think it should be free. Is college expensive? Yes -- but more so for private universities. Public universities like SUNY Cortland cost around $6,470 per year for in-state residents. That is still significantly less than one of my loans for one semester.

I've been told that maybe I shouldn't have picked a private university, but like I said, I believe education is important. I want to take advantage of the education this country offers, and so I am going to choose the best university I could, which is how I ended up at Fordham. I am not knocking public universities, they are fine institutions, they are just not for me.

My problems with this new legislation lie in the following: Nowhere are there any provisions that force the student receiving aid to have a part-time job.

I work part-time, my sister works part-time, and plenty of my friends work part-time. Working and going to school is stressful, but I do it because I need money. I need money to pay my loans off and buy my textbooks, among other things. The reason I need money is because my parents can't afford to pay off my loans and textbooks as well as both of my sisters'. There is absolutely no reason why every student who will be receiving aid is not forced to have a part-time job, whether it be working in the school library or waitressing.

We are setting up these young adults up for failure, allowing them to think someone else will always be there to foot their bills. It's ridiculous. What bothers me the most, though, is that my dad has to pay for this. Not only my dad, but plenty of senior citizens who don't even have kids, among everyone else.

The cost of living is only going up, yet paychecks rarely do the same. Further taxation is not a solution. The point of free college is to help young adults join the workforce and better our economy; however, people my parents' age are also needed to help better our economy. How are they supposed to do so when they can't spend their money because they are too busy paying taxes?

Free college is not free, the same way free healthcare isn't free.

There is only so much more the taxpayers can take. So to all the students about to get free college: get a part-time job, take personal responsibility, and take out a loan — just like the rest of us do. The world isn't going to coddle you much longer, so start acting like an adult.

Cover Image Credit: https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/free-college-new-york-state.jpg?quality=85

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

A Little Skepticism Goes A Long Way

Be informed citizens and verify what you see and hear.

rahma
rahma
65
views

These days more than ever before we are being bombarded constantly by a lot of news and information, a considerable amount of which is inaccurate. Sometimes there's an agenda behind it to mislead people and other times its just rumors or distortion of the facts. So, how do you sift through all this and get accurate information? How can you avoid being misled or brainwashed?

This is an important topic because the decisions each of us make can affect others. And if you are a responsible citizen your decisions can affect large numbers of people, hopefully positively, but negatively as well.

It's been said that common sense is not something that can be taught, but I am going to disagree. I think with the right training, teaching the fundamentals behind common sense can get people to have a better sense of what it is and start practicing it. All you will need is to improve your general knowledge and gain some experience, college is a good place for that, then add a little skepticism and you are on your way to start making sensible decisions.

One of the fundamental things to remember is not to believe a statement at face value, you must first verify. Even if you believe it's from a trusted source, they may have gotten their info from a questionable one. There's a saying that journalists like to use: "if your mother said, 'I love you' you should verify it.'" While this is taking it a bit too far, you get the idea.

If you feel that something is not adding up, or doesn't make sense then you are probably right. This is all the more reason to check something out further. In the past, if someone showed a picture or video of something that was sufficient proof. But nowadays with so many videos and picture editing software, it would have to go through more verification to prove its authenticity. That's not the case with everything but that's something that often needs to be done.

One way of checking if something sounds fishy is to look at all the parties involved and what do they have to gain and lose. This sometimes is easier to use when you're dealing with a politics-related issue, but it can work for other things where more than one person/group is involved. For example, most people and countries as well will not do something that is self-destructive, so if one party is accusing the other of doing something self-destructive or disadvantageous then it's likely that there is something inaccurate about the account. Perhaps the accusing party is setting the other one up or trying to gain some praise they don't deserve.

A lot of times all it takes is a little skepticism and some digging to get to the truth. So please don't be that one which retweets rumors or helps spread misinformation. Verify before you report it.

rahma
rahma

Related Content

Facebook Comments