Being Single Is Not Only Okay, It's An Opportunity

Being Single Is Not Only Okay, It's An Opportunity

Why being hard to love also makes you hard to leave.
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Okay, so, you’re single. Maybe this is a new thing for you, maybe you’ve been single your entire life (like me). Either way, you may be asking yourself, “Why? What’s wrong with me?”

First of all, nothing is wrong with you. Relationships are tricky, unpredictable, complicated and every single one is different. Building quality relationships requires that people get to know each other and knowing someone often entails finding out that they’re, as Meredith Grey would say, “dark and twisty” (shout out to Grey’s Anatomy).

As most people do, you have a past that has shaped you into the person you are today. Different trials and experiences can often lead to impairment in the relationship and dating department. If you’re like me, you may be a walking contradiction in a lot of ways.

You may often have difficulty communicating your feelings adequately with a habit of letting them bottle up and explode. You may be complicated and hard to understand. It’s hard to show you love because you may not be sure how to accept it.

With all that being said, you may be hard to love but that’s not the reason you’re single. You’ve been hurt in the past but it has given you growth. You know what you want and what you deserve and you shouldn’t settle for or accept anything less. You’re single because you have yet to find the person who meets these expectations and there is nothing wrong with not settling.

Why waste your time in a relationship going nowhere? Life is too short for that. The time you spend now, being single, will allow you to continue growing into a better you, without the added difficulty of being in a relationship simultaneously. When you have the opportunity to grow independent of another person, you are free to grow immense and beautiful.

Imagine two oak tree saplings. If they are planted too close together then the competition for resources results in their loss of the ability to grow as big or as tall as they could have been had they been planted with some distance. Let your roots extend deep, your branches reach far and grow so tall you reach the sky. The more that you learn about yourself, the better you will be able to know and love someone else.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me why I’m still single I swear I’d be a billionaire by now but how do you answer this question?

I know the answer, I’m hard to love, I’ve been hurt and it’s complicated but no one wants to hear that so I normally just say, “Just haven’t found the right person.” This is, to some extent, true. I just haven’t found someone that wants the same things and is willing to work for and with me.

This is not a bad thing though because I would much rather be single than to settle into a dead-end relationship. Our society shames being single which is ridiculous because pitying those that are not in relationships is a gross underestimate of what these people have to offer.

If you’re single and allowing yourself to grow independently, you’re putting yourself at a distinct advantage in your future relationships. Learning what you need, want and expect from a significant other ensures that you will not accept any treatment less than what you deserve, the best.

Be secure in your independence and use the time to learn more about yourself. Your past may have left you hard to love at times but it also made your love an incredibly special gift because it is one that must be earned. When you find the person that is willing to do what it takes, you will find that all this waiting was well worth it.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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8 Solid Date Ideas For Couples Who Drink Beer

Don't go on another boring date. Throw axes, launch golf balls. Be the fun couple.

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Fact: there are two types of people in this world.

  1. People who say, "dating is hard these days."
  2. People who plan dates around boozing.

If you've ever been on a bad date, specifically if you are a beer drinker, I'm going to assume you didn't put much effort into planning the date, let alone the beer you planned on drinking. Yes, everyone has their own expectations when it comes to date activities.

But rather than focus on differences, why not plan your date around something you have in common: a love for good beer?

Don't have any ideas? We got your back. Whether you've been dating for two weeks or nearly two years, here's a list of unique date ideas that include everyone's favorite third wheel, booze.

1. Blind Beer Tasting

Sometimes the perfect date night could very well be from the comfort of home. Movies and pizza are usually what's up for a low-key night, but have you ever considered something as underrated as blind beer tasting? It's a fun way to do something different with your partner, getting your taste buds boppin', experimenting with new drinks. Make the night super official with some beer tasting score cards so you know what to get for next time, or what to never, ever get again for the remainder of your existence.

2. Top Golf

A little competition never hurt anybody, right? It doesn't matter if you're the next Tiger Woods or don't have a single athletic bone in your body, Top Golf is a guaranteed good time. There's literally zero pressure because all you have to do is wave around a golf club trying not to look stupid. Share some laughs, get some embarrassing pictures or videos, munch on some apps, and sip (or pound down) some tasty brews.

3. Axe Throwing

Unless you live under a rock, you'll know that axe throwing is booming and locations are opening up almost everywhere. The Canadian backyard pastime might seem a little odd, but it's AXE-tually a lot of fun. You can bring your own food and who doesn't like food? Alcohol IS permitted at specific locations, so call ahead! Just remember to throw responsibly, because if you aren't married yet you can't collect that insurance premium.

4. College Football Saturdays and Football Sundays

For most guys (and some gals) this is the best time of the year. Weekends in the fall are completely devoted to football. Even if you're not the biggest football fan, you can still have a blast taking part in the social aspect while being a spectator. Some bars are team-themed, so make sure to look up some places and get there early. FYI: this works for almost all sporting and pay-per-view events. Including, but not limited to; the Olympics, boxing, American Ninja Warrior, etc…

5. Check out a local brewery

Craft breweries are perfect date spots. Fun but low-key (read as: you can still have a conversation). And they're full of great beer. If you're ever on the East Coast, you have to hit up Victory Brewing Company's Taprooms & Breweries located in Chester County, PA. One of the perks of craft breweries as a date spot is the local culture and small-town vibes we all love to love. I recommend Victory because they have all that plus one of the strongest beer line-ups in the country, including tastings for new experimental beers. If you can make a day of it, I suggest you do. They have trivia during the week, live local bands, and the food is awesome. Get a pretzel and beer cheese. It's wicked good.

6. Booze Cruise

A different, cool way to party. Whether it's just you two or you're with a group of other couples, booze cruises are a more sophisticated way to indulge. I mean, let's face it, we're all high-key trying to hold onto the savage tolerances we used to have in college and it's nights like this, where we try (really, really hard) reliving it. The city skylines and marina views alone are simply breathtaking. All you need to do is show some ID, pay admission, and pray the rest of the night calls for smooth sailing.

7. Pick a theme and plan your own Bar (beer) Crawl

Going on adventures with your other half is proven to bring you closer together. Pick a theme with your significant other, and plan a beer crawl using Google Maps. Try picking new bars you haven't been to before! At the end of your crawl, hit up your favorite bar or better yet, the first bar you guys met or went to as a couple.

8. Wedding Crashing... IRL

I know this sounds a little far-fetched, but if it's done right this could lead to the most epic of nights. You know when people bring dates who the bride and groom have never even met? Or heard a member of the wedding party be like, "Yea, I don't even know half of these people"? UM, hello! You could be "these people!" Almost all weddings are destined to have good booze, and, unless the father of the bride is a legit serial killer, it's probably an open bar.

The most important part of any date is planning to share good beer, but don't sleep on picking a good partner. Find someone who compliments you the way Victory's Golden and Sour Monkeys compliment each other. These beers are distinctly different but make the perfect duo. Check out their beer finder to see where you can snag some brewskis with your booski. Cheers!

Photo by Elevate on Unsplash

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One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— I Met Them All On Tinder

Thank you, swipe left, thank you, swipe right.

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I haven't had the best of luck in my relationship life and I've grown to be okay with it.

I've met most of the boys I've dated on Tinder and it has brought me a lot of life lessons that have helped me grow as a person. These casual relationships haven't been the greatest since they did not last very long but they shaped me into becoming more independent.

Two of those boys I dated I still talk to on an everyday basis and we've decided that it was best being better off as friends but one of those boys, he broke my heart and have no plans to ever talk to him again.

Here I expose those three boys who have made a significant impact in my love life:

1. One Taught Me Love

This boy helped me start loving myself more. He would always compliment me when I least felt like I deserved it. He always ALWAYS brought a smile to my face whenever we would talk but at the end of the day, we both wanted different things. That honesty we shared with one another is what helped us stay friends. Still to this day is he continues to constantly compliment me. I love having him around in my life and thankful to have met him.

2. One Taught Me Patience

He was the rebound after the boy that taught me pain. I was not looking for anything but I was back on Tinder to keep my mind off my pain. He messaged me first and we hit it off well. He lived over a hundred miles away from me so prior to meeting him, we would talk daily since it was hard to meet up. I waited to meet him and when we did wasn't what I had hoped for. He taught me that it is important to wait to find a good person and not worth rushing into things after a breakup.

3. One Taught Me Pain

This boy and I were on an off for over a year and a half. He was one I shared all my insecurities and intimate details with which was something I had never done before. Unfortunately, each time we broke up, he used those things against me to hurt me. I spent so much time trying to make things with him and I work but it would just end up hurting me so much. It was toxic being with him but he taught me pain I never want to feel again.

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