Being Seen As The "Gay" Friend

In my life, I have never wanted anybody to only see me for my sexuality. I am gay. This means that I am romantically attracted to women. This does not mean that I am your lesbian experiment, or hold some special knowledge of ALL of the gay people in the world. Because I just don't.

Being a feminine person, I have the luxury of "blending" with straight people. The fact that I am gay is seldom the first thing that I present when meeting anybody new, whether it be at work or school or just a party. I have never been interested in being known for my sexuality, or letting it define me. Because in my opinion it never should. In my life, if I achieve one thing, it is to be known for my work, or something that I create or help with.

This means, when we start a friendship I will probably tell you about the things I love before I tell you about the people I love. And I expect it not to become an issue, but I realize we don't live in a perfect world. Now this doesn't mean we wont gossip like high school girls about our crushes together, we will.

But when it comes down to dishing about our intimate interactions -because lets face it, we all do it- I won't be comfortable acting as google and explaining "how lesbians have sex". You have an imagination, use it. How do you have sex?

I also won't be your experiment when you get drunk because your boyfriend pissed you off and you want to swear off men. I will however be the girlfriend who picks up the ice cream and watches sappy romance movies with you into the wee hours of the night.

It's also hard to handle when you see a lesbian out in public and ask me if I know them. No, I don't know every lesbian in our community. Do you know every straight person? This by far might be the most ridiculous gay stigma of them all.

And nothing is more frustrating then when your guy friends think its okay to degrade women to you because you are also attracted to them. Newsflash, lesbian means I am a WOMAN who likes women. I am a woman. And I don't appreciate being treated as I am any less because I like to date them.

Maybe this is different for lesbians who are less feminine. Maybe being seen and having people know your sexuality means they don't treat you differently, or like you're an abnormality because you so blatantly flaunt your sexuality. Maybe thats not a bad thing, if you're showing your rainbow flag and being seen as out and proud. And this doesn't mean I am any less proud of my sexuality, I just don't want it to define me, or let it decide what people think of when they think of me, or what they will talk to me about.

Overall, I just want my point to come across that I am a human, who has interests and emotions like anybody else. I just happen to put my romantic emotions towards other women. But this doesn't make me any less of the friend you were making before you found out. This doesn't change the interests we have in common, or the fun we have when we go to the mall. It just means when I find a date, you may pick up another girl friend to take shopping, or to help get you ready for your hot date. And whats so bad about that?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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