I’ve always been very insecure with my weight. I work out five days a week and eat pretty healthy, but up until recently, I never saw a change in my body. My weight has always been something I have struggled with, mentally and physically. It’s something I don’t like to talk about because I’ve always had a little pudge, and I NOW know it’s not as bad as I feel it is, but up until this year, I had a completely different mindset.

I’ve never been happy with my weight. I only notice my worst features, rather than all the other beautiful features that make me who I am. I realize this now, but last year, when I was the complete opposite of happy with my weight, I was in a situation where I became even less confident in myself.

I would never think that any of my friends would speak poorly about my weight because I feel like, in our society, everyone struggles with something, especially girls with their weight. But nope. I was wrong.

Last year, I overheard two girls, who I thought were my friends, talking about my weight behind my back the second I left the room.

One night last year, I went out to a party where I drank a few drinks. One of my so-called friends wasn’t planning on going out and offered rides to anyone who needed one later. I ended up needing a ride that night, so she came and picked me up and brought me back to where we both lived. We both went up to her room where her roommate was, and we all hung out for a little while.

It was pretty late at night, and I knew they both wanted to go to bed, so I only stayed and talked for a few minutes. I was so grateful for what one of them had done, so I decided to go back to their room to say thanks again. As I was walking up to their door, I heard a little chatter. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I could easily hear their conversation from outside the room.

The conversation consisted of them saying how I looked pregnant, how far along I was, when the baby was coming, and laughter among them joking about my weight.

I immediately ran downstairs and started bawling. I mean, how could I not? Two girls who I thought were my friends were just laughing at one of my biggest insecurities.

I cried for about three days straight after that. Everyone who saw me asked what was wrong, but the more I talked about it, the more it hurt. I also didn’t want to throw the two girls under the bus. Even though they hurt me so badly, I did not want to rat on them.

To this day, they don’t know that I know what they said, they might not even remember what they said, but I always will. Every time I see them out, I want to just go right up to them and scream “F**K YOU!,” but I don’t have the courage and strength to do that.

Instead, I say a few words to them and walk away because now I know I don’t have to surround myself with people who leave a negative presence.

I still have not forgiven them, nor do I think I ever will.

I still hate the whole situation. It is still hurtful, I still can’t believe they would say stuff like that about me, and I'm still insecure about my weight; but I feel like that whole situation has made me a stronger person.

It made me realize that I don’t have to be around people who don’t impact me positively, that I am my biggest and ONLY critic, and that I am beautiful just the way I am.