Being Confident In A Generation Of Judgment

Being Confident In A Generation Of Judgment

The Long Road To Self Confidence
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Confidence is harder than it looks and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to "just have confidence in yourself," I'd be rich. One thing no one really ever tells you is, how? How do you obtain self-confidence in a generation where everyone is judging you? Here's some advice that will hopefully help you get through those moments of fear when presenting an idea or trying something new.

Being a college student I'm always comparing myself to others. Here's some advice that could take you a long way. Do not, and I mean DO NOT compare yourself to others. As much as you don't want to admit it, there is always someone that is going to be better at something than you. Everyone is on their own path, so confidence must come from creating your own motives without making it into a competition.

One thing that took me a long time to realize is that it's okay to be wrong. It's also perfectly okay to fail. Confidence stems from being able to accept your failures and grow from them. I've learned that the more you fail, the more empowered and motivated you become.

This may sound extremely corny...let me rephrase that, this will sound extremely corny, but it is important to find your value. Find it by doing something you love, and applying that to something that you may be self-conscious about.

In my case, I am extremely self-conscious about public speaking. I'm that girl who will try absolutely anything and everything to get out of a presentation. The lack of confidence always comes from the thought that people might be judging me. I've learned throughout my time at college so far to completely block out the negativity. Overcome self-doubt by not letting others determine how you view yourself as a person.

The last piece of advice I could give would be to step out of your comfort zone. Try new things and allow those experiences to shape you. I've learned that someone isn't going to be standing by our side to push us out of our comfort zones. It is something that has to be done by you and only you.

Self-confidence is hard. Trust me, I still struggle with it every day, but you just have to live and learn through it.

Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put in the hands of others. Focus on you.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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Fighting to Reach what i believe in will be worthwhile, in the end

To dreams worth having, to obstacles of all sizes, and to the finish line that might never come yet forever keeps me going.

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Dear Life Goals,

Alright, look.

Being armed with the ability to, you know, more or less read the English language, I can see the word "life" plastered up there in your title. "Life," huh? Four unmistakable letters spelling out years and years and years of simply biding my time, hanging out, waiting. A quite literal life sentence, as it were, goading me, pressuring me, waiting on me to pick up the slack and pull myself to the end through struggles, heartache, aches and pains, misery, frequent hopelessness, unexpected trials, personal flaws. Sounds like a dream, that journey does.

I just…I've got to ask you. Are you positive - as in beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt positive - that the timeline can't quicken its pace to my doorstep, arms outstretched and ready to draw me into the overwhelming excitement of seeing all my dreams realized in the blink of an eye? Are you sure that I can't skip the buildup, passing go and collecting my life's worth without all the years and years and years standing in front of me?

Yeah. I figured.

Because you wouldn't be life goals if you didn't take time, would you? You wouldn't be life goals if you didn't push me through a lifetime, providing me with the hope and motivation that one day, I might look back on my timeline and have one last chance to smile, at peace with my eyes closed. More than that, more than definition, you wouldn't be a life goal worth having if you weren't the culmination of my work in this world, the result of my determination, what I've reaped from what I've sown. If I can chase my purpose through you, then what is the point of the purposeless life that I would live after you're gone?

I can't help but ask if I can bypass the extra steps and jump straight to the end. My impatience rivals that of toddlers and probably wins out more times than not. I've never been a big fan of waiting. But playing the long game is the only way to win. There isn't one path to the end or only one outcome, yet there are countless victories to be had. The short game, a straight shot to a simple prize, isn't why I'm here, is it? I want to be proud of what I do with my life, proud that I had the courage to chase my dreams through a mountain of mistakes and failures.

I know, I know, I'm sorry I keep bothering. Heh, I just can't help but check the status percentage from time to time, even though I know it hasn't changed. I want to see results, and that desire pushes me to invest more of my time, my energy, and myself into making what I've been dreaming of happen. I know it'll take time, but fighting to reach what I believe in will be more than worthwhile, in the end. I hope to end my last chapter knowing I fought through a lifetime for you. Then honestly, I'll have reached you no matter what my finale looks like.

Until next time we talk, I hope you'll continue to remind me that dreams don't come a dime a dozen. I hope you'll help me to have faith in myself and that you'll keep me going even if my utterly unreasonable impatience would have me giving up and hiding my life away in couch potato statuses and empty Dorito bags.

Thanks again,

A girl who's working on it

Cover Image Credit:

Pixabay

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