Being Confident In A Generation Of Judgment

Being Confident In A Generation Of Judgment

The Long Road To Self Confidence

Confidence is harder than it looks and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to "just have confidence in yourself," I'd be rich. One thing no one really ever tells you is, how? How do you obtain self-confidence in a generation where everyone is judging you? Here's some advice that will hopefully help you get through those moments of fear when presenting an idea or trying something new.

Being a college student I'm always comparing myself to others. Here's some advice that could take you a long way. Do not, and I mean DO NOT compare yourself to others. As much as you don't want to admit it, there is always someone that is going to be better at something than you. Everyone is on their own path, so confidence must come from creating your own motives without making it into a competition.

One thing that took me a long time to realize is that it's okay to be wrong. It's also perfectly okay to fail. Confidence stems from being able to accept your failures and grow from them. I've learned that the more you fail, the more empowered and motivated you become.

This may sound extremely corny...let me rephrase that, this will sound extremely corny, but it is important to find your value. Find it by doing something you love, and applying that to something that you may be self-conscious about.

In my case, I am extremely self-conscious about public speaking. I'm that girl who will try absolutely anything and everything to get out of a presentation. The lack of confidence always comes from the thought that people might be judging me. I've learned throughout my time at college so far to completely block out the negativity. Overcome self-doubt by not letting others determine how you view yourself as a person.

The last piece of advice I could give would be to step out of your comfort zone. Try new things and allow those experiences to shape you. I've learned that someone isn't going to be standing by our side to push us out of our comfort zones. It is something that has to be done by you and only you.

Self-confidence is hard. Trust me, I still struggle with it every day, but you just have to live and learn through it.

Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put in the hands of others. Focus on you.

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You Really Need To Know These 5 Facts If You're Even Thinking Of Moving To NYC

It's crazy, fast, and LOUD.

Moving to New York City is a wild ride. In some ways you can know what to expect, but truth be told it'll all still be quite the surprise and shock when you settle in. Here are so things I experienced moving here and some tips of what to expect:

1. The commute is REAL.

Decide where to live - Manhattan/ Brooklyn / Queens / Bronx Manhattan will be more expensive and less space but your commute will probably be 30 min or less. Living the outer boroughs will be cheaper (still expensive though, don't get me wrong) and have more space, but also your commute will likely be 1-2 hours. Keep that in mind.

2. The city moves FAST.


I know we've all heard this, but wow does it still really hit you the first day you're living here. It will take a few days to adjust to the place, but for the beginning just try to stay to the side and out of anyone's way.



3. The city is loud AF


Also another thing you've heard, but a whole new ball game experiencing it. The good news? You WILL get used to it. I remember being so in shock by the sound, the sirens and honks at the beginning but now I will be on the phone with my parents and they will say 'oh haha there's the New York sirens" and I'll realize I didn't even hear the siren.



4. Everything looks the SAME.


As in, when walking anywhere all the streets and street corners look the same and you will definitely find yourself going the wrong direction for a little. Accept that this is normal and constantly make sure you are headed the right way by looking to see if the street numbers are going up or down and landmarks. A tip that really helped me was using the compass feature of the maps app. If I knew I needed to head to 14th st and I'm on 20th, I would locate myself on the map, enable the compass and then point around me until it was pointed towards the direction I needed to go on the map. I'm telling you guys, this SAVED ME countless times.



5. Make sure to check to subway signs for 'Downtown and Brooklyn' vs 'Uptown and the Bronx'


Usually this is the only REAL direction you are given with the subway so it's important you envision where exactly you are going in the city, uptown or downtown before you swipe that metro card. Another confusing thing- bigger subway stations will have you swipe at one place and then go towards uptown or downtown once inside.

Smaller stations will usually have uptown and downtown stations separately and you'll have to cross the street to get to the other one. So don't just see the station and swipe your card before realizing you need to leave and go across the street to get to the right station. Of course if you do do it, it's fine because literally everyone has done the same thing.


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Living With An Eating Disorder In A Social Media World

Where pictures of food are everywhere.

Though each individual's experience is different from others', for anyone who does, living with an eating disorder is difficult. It's like there's this creature sitting in the corner of your room, taunting you. When hunger kicks in, its voice gets louder in your ear, either telling you how fat you are, or about how fat you could get if you indulge. Food consumes (no pun intended) your thoughts 24/7, and in some cases, so do caloric counts.

I have lived with an eating disorder, on and off, for 10+ years. A common misconception about them is that there are only two disorders- anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. The truth is, there are many different types, some undefined or unnamed. Dealing with it is just as grueling as dealing with any other mental illness. Therapists, nutritionists, counselors, and your own willpower, play a major role in recovering, and sometimes those are not even successful.

However, the struggle may become more prominent when on social media. Platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and even Facebook, allow others to share pictures of their aesthetically pleasing meals. For those of us who suffer with eating disorders, that elusive voice suddenly starts screaming at us to turn it off! X out that tab! Being surrounded by beautiful photos of colorful, interesting, no doubt high in calories food is the last thing we need. Then, counter that with the selfies that our beautiful, fit, healthy friends post to Instagram, and those of us with hypheragia are once again reminded how fat we (think we) are, to stop staring at the foodporn, and not cave into our appetites. It's obviously not a healthy lifestyle, and being reminded of it on social media isn't helpful either.

According to the National Eating Disorder Association, around 25 percent of college students suffer from eating disorders. 25 percent. That is a remarkably high number, and add to that the stresses of homework and extracurricular activities, it's a wonder that not all students collapse from anxiety. And fortunate that that percentage is not even higher.

If you suffer with an eating disorder, call the NEDA Helpline toll free at 1-800-931-2237 from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. EST Monday-Thursday, and Friday from 9 a.m.to 5 p.m. EST. Stay strong, you can beat this.


Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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