Before the term “extra” even came onto the scene, I was extra. Some years ago, people preferred to use the phrase “too much.” For many people I am too much, too loud, too dorky, too silly. Some might even use the word childish. That isn’t to say that I can’t be serious. I do take some things quite seriously, such as my schoolwork, athletics, personal health, and relationships with loved ones. Even still, if there is one person who likes to make people laugh, it’s me. However, instead of the word childish, I pride myself on the ability to be childlike.
I like to tell people that I am G-rated, the perfect example of a Pixar movie. I love doing what most kids aged seven to nine enjoy: baking cookies, running as fast as I can before I’m out of breath, watching movies, skipping, singing, telling knock-knock jokes, riding bikes, swimming, seeing my breath when it’s cold outside and then pretending I am a dragon while walking to class. Unfortunately, I have had trouble reckoning my childlike tendencies with my life at college.
Most college students, especially college first-years, like to test out their new freedom with crazy parties, late night outings, and staying up ‘til all hours. But, honestly, it’s been hard to find my niche on campus and in the surrounding community when many people don’t feel the same way I do. It’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with other college students. I do, but I’ve always had better rapport with younger kids or older adults. I’d rather go to a dinner party or a movie than some crazy event on campus.
I jokingly say that I’m either a grandma or a four year old with little in between. I like to go to bed early and take naps. I like cooking, grocery shopping, reading, walking, and watching BBC dramas. One of the best decisions I’ve made was joining the rowing team, not only because of the cool people, but also because of the very versatile excuse: “I can’t, I have rowing.” No matter what is being asked of me, if I’d rather go to sleep than party or group study late into the night, I can always say that my early practice requires that I go to bed at a decent hour. I’ve been thinking about this a lot because our winter break from regular rowing practice has started. Sometimes I worry how I’m going to feel when I no longer have that structure, a sport that perfectly supports my G-rated preferences. During a recent conversation with a teammate, however, I learned that she feels the same way. So now I’m wondering how many others out there are more like me than I thought. The first time I have to say, “I just don’t want to,” may feel a little awkward, but now I know that when I want to stay in and watch a cartoon or movie, bake desserts, or play a board game, there are others who might just want to join me.