I am broken.
I have been avoiding this article in fear of being made fun of, talked about, or called the same names that have broken my spirit for years. but mainly to take time to heal.
Betrayal is a real thing. A thing I didn't know much of until the beginning of this year.
When trying to come up with words for how lonely and unwanted the world around me has made me feel, there are none.
dramatic.
inconvenience.
ridiculous.
crier.
liar.
ugly.
unwanted.
disappointment.
disgusting.
weird.
All these words have hurt me in ways that I can't begin to describe, for years now. Words that slip the mouths of those who have told me they loved me. Words that have been typed by the thumbs of those who just told me how pretty I was on my Instagram post. Words that have been whispered around me by those who I pour my heart into.
Words that have completely left me broken and alone. Thinking some of the scariest thoughts, hurting myself in ways that are unimaginable.
Despite my mistakes, and things I have done wrong, I gave myself the idea that I deserved the words. I deserved the pain because of my wrongdoings. I encourage everyone to never make yourself feel as if you deserve the way others treat you.
Labels hurt. People's words hurt. As I struggle to face these labels every day, I have made it a point to never make others feel as unwanted and lonely as I have felt.
All this to say, your words matter. The way you treat people matters. No matter how tempting making a joke may be. That "joke" you tell can eventually be someone's breaking point.
You can be one of two people.
•The one who saves someone's life
•The one who ends someone's life
Be the one who saves someone's life, be a light for those in the darkness. Never be close-minded, but never bend your morals and what you believe. We were all placed on this earth for a reason and while we find that reason, let's make it easier for the hearts around us struggling.
"Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil."
Proverbs 3:7 NIV
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalms 139:14 NIV
I will heal.
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I believe wholeheartedly that YOU too can heal. that you can also step out of the darkness feeling better than ever. Love on yourself. Don't push yourself to limits you know will hurt you in the end. Take time to yourself to reflect on who and what you are!
Together, we can all heal and help make the world a better place. One healed heart at a time. :)