Being an empath is something that I pride myself in. In case you the reader does not know, an empath is basically someone who is able to read and understand people just by watching their actions. We absorb these emotions, with our own moods becoming sour after conversing with someone who has had a bad day or becoming equally excited as your best friend after finding out that they got the job that they applied for. Being an empath is something that I truly appreciate about myself, as it helps me understand people and their situations without getting extremely nosy, and I can also come up with better ways to help others.

Sometimes though, being an empath is not all it is cracked up to be.

Have you ever had a best friend come crying to you, but cannot help them in any way? I have several friends who I cannot stand to see cry. Even the slightest tear has me crying right along with them, and I want to do anything I can to help them out and help them feel happy again. However, have you ever been in the situation where you cannot help your friend in any way? This happens to me especially with my friends back home while I am at school. There is nothing I can do but sit with them and feel the same sadness that they are feeling, even when I don’t have any reason to feel this way.

I get so invested in the feelings others that sometimes, I tend to get my emotions confused with the emotions of others. For example, a friend could be over in my room venting to me about some professor they are mad at, and then they will leave. Hours later, I will feel a surge of frustration from this situation, but I will be confused about why I feel this way. Later I will figure out it is leftover frustration from my friend's situation, but the unknown frustration is puzzling and confusing for however long it lasts.

It’s frustrating to just feel the emotions of others around you, and not to have any tangible cause for said feelings.

Have you ever gotten the sense when someone doesn’t like you, but can’t say anything to them about it because they don’t know that you know? This situation is honestly the worst. They may not deliberately be mean to your face; they take the passive route or are just really fake nice to you. You sense the disgust on their breath as they try to make small talk with you, and you know by the way they stare you down that honestly would rather be talking to a brick wall than you. You start to get this creepy-crawly feeling in your belly, and you start searching for a way out, but there is no escape. You yourself are stuck talking to this person because you read into emotions too much, and you can’t let this secret get out.

And you know what else is bad about that? After any of these sorts of interactions, I end up feeling more down on myself than I ever planned on being. Sure, these people have their rightful reasons for acting this way, but I shouldn’t have to feel so awful after they were trying their hardest to be nice to me. They are trying their hardest to put their differences aside and have a pleasant conversation with me, but all I can do is see past their small-talk and understand really how they feel.

As I have said before, I would not want to change who I am in hopes of feeling less of the negative energy of others. As much as it feels as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders sometimes, my empathetic side of myself is what propels my random acts of kindness and resilience, and that is something that I could not bear to part with.