That first morning you wake up after a break up feels like a ton of bricks is weighing you down. Your walk to class is always plagued by happy couples walking hand in hand. And you resent them with every fiber of your being. Your heart aches and tears well at your eyes the whole day. And you’re miserable thinking everyone else is happier than you because they are in a relationship.

But I’m here to tell you it’s going to be okay. Before you know it, the pain subsides and freedom sets in. Don’t get me wrong relationships can be fulling and wonderful but there is also beauty to being alone. There is magic in not being in a relationship. A magic people don’t talk about often enough.

From birth people are taught that romantic love is essential to happiness. Relationships are a requirement to a fulfilled life not a bonus to other accomplishments. I beg you to forget this notion and relish in your singleness. Build solid friendships, and create memories to reflect upon later. Don’t force yourself into people’s lives out of loneliness. Learn to enjoy life by yourself.

This won’t happen overnight. It will take time to grow into your life alone. But use this time to fortify yourself into who and what you are. When you’re young you are constantly changing. This is good. Go with this flow of change and growth. Remove the idea that you must be anything. Learn and live and love yourself on your own time, in your own way. This will give you a new perspective on the world.

Court yourself the way you would court a romantic partner. Go on those dream dates you always wish someone would take you on. Most of the time you are the only thing in your way. Treat yourself to those flowers in the supermarket, and a good book. Curl up with yourself and watch your favorite movie. Enjoy the alone time and relax.

Life is not a timeline of designated events that must happen in a certain order. Go at your own pace, in your own time. Don’t force standards on yourself. Be the person you have always wanted to date.

Being alone is not always lonely. It sometimes is the greatest adventure you will have. You’re young and wasting your time trying to be perfect for others is tiring and fruitless. Be perfect for you and if it’s what you want, get back out there and find your someone when you’re ready. But until then enjoy you.