secret alone mindset

The Secret Behind Being Able To Be Alone Is Your Mindset

Being able to enjoy your time alone and be alone is all about one thing, and one thing only. Your mindset.

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In today's society, we idolize relationships. We constantly talk about dating, marriage, breakups, and so many other things. Not to mention, these "relationship goals" are posted all over social media, which makes it hard for anyone to think that it's completely okay to not be in a relationship. I think we talk about it so much that most people think they need a relationship of some sort in order to fit into society. This scares me.

I was brought up in the generation of relationships. My younger self didn't know it was okay to be alone and not in a relationship. It took me a while to figure that out. Today's dating culture has become even more extreme than when I was younger, which makes me worry for the generation of kids growing up in it. The idolization of dating has become more distinguished now than ever, and we need to figure out a way to show that it is completely okay to be alone.

But how does one go about being alone when all people talk about is being in a relationship?

Your mindset.

I was always taught that you are what you preach. If you believe it, you will become it. I say I can, so I will. Confidence is the key to success in life. All of these mottos are true, but what do they have to do with being alone?

If you tell yourself that being alone is okay, then it is okay.

You don't need anyone to tell you that being in a relationship is what you need to do to be successful. Yes, this is all easier said than done, but if you tell yourself that being alone is okay, you'll eventually believe it.

Remember that you are what you preach. Think positive, act positive. Think confident, be confident. Think that being alone is okay, and being alone will be okay.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Gigliotti

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Not Being Attracted To Another Race Doesn't (Necessarily) Make You Racist

And on the flip-side, being more attracted to one race doesn't (necessarily) mean you're fetishizing them.

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From the get-go I want you to know that I acknowledge that this is an unpopular opinion, but it is a strong one of mine that I would like to voice. Please don't get offended if my opinions differ from yours, that's life, deal with it!

I'm sure you've noticed, either within yourself, someone close to you, or someone not so close to you but who you pay attention to their love life anyway for whatever reason, that they tend to date certain types of people. And no, I'm not talking about the idea of having a "type," which I tend to disagree with fundamentally because if you lined up all my exes I don't think they would look similar enough to support the idea. I'm actually talking about race here.

For example, I tend to date white people, but I have dated people of other races, and I will probably continue to as well. I just tend to be more attracted to people who fit my racial category than anyone else, and that's okay. I'm not averse to dating people of other races, I just haven't found myself attracted to people who fit those racial categories. In these cases, I'm not dating that specific person because I am not attracted to that specific person, not because I'm not attracted to people of their race.

Where this kind of situation becomes not okay and does turn into racism is when someone is attracted to someone of a certain race but specifically won't date them because of it. I knew a couple of people like this in high school and in college and whether they realized it or not, they were being blatantly racist for no apparent reason. Hence, I have inserted the keyword "necessarily" into the title of this article. Does it make sense now?

How about on the flip-side. If someone tends to only date one race or is mostly attracted to people of a single race, it doesn't mean they're racist in that respect either. They may be in the same boat as the first side. Anyway, in some situations, people do fetishize a certain race or fetishize being with someone of that race, especially if it differs from their own. Seeing as there seems to be a fetish for everything nowadays, we shouldn't be surprised necessarily, but that also doesn't excuse it from being racist.

Another important factor in these ideas is who you are exposed to most. If you are a white person in a majorly white neighborhood or state or whatever size area and you stay in that general area for most of your life, you're more likely to end up being attracted to, dating, and probably marrying someone of your same race just because those are the people you interact with. No racism needs to exist for the outcome to be the same.

We need to learn to separate a person from his or her race. Race does not define a person unless they want it to. But a person's race isn't the only thing someone else will be attracted to. Get it out of your heads that it is.

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2 Series Of Must-Reads If You Enjoy Fantasy

2 series, 7 books; all underdogs that deserve more appraisal than received.

JordynL
JordynL
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When you hear 'fantasy', you probably think of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and so on. Basically the books that were (poorly) transformed into movies that, regardless, we still love. However, I'm one of those books worms that advocate for the underdogs of the fantasy genre. When it comes to the more renown series, I tend to expect them to be phenomenal based on reviews and opinions of my friends. Usually they end up being a huge let-down either because the books didn't meet my expectations or I got so bored that I stopped reading them altogether.

As far as I'm aware, these series don't have movies based off of them, although they should and are deserving of them. The storylines would honestly put Twilight and The Vampire Diaries to shame. Granted, it doesn't take much to discredit Twilight and I'm actually a fan of the TVD show, but that doesn't excuse the fact that the books were far more boring than what was on our screens. Hollywood deserves, at least some, appraisal for these; I know it wasn't easy. It just goes to show that if Hollywood can turn those trainwrecks into something at least semi-successful, the following books deserve the same chance.

These book series are from my personal collection and are honestly so underrated with the content and storylines:

*spoilers*


1. The 'Hush Hush' saga

Personal Photo

Written by Becca Fitzpatrick, this is a "girl meets boy" love story. It includes the cliché dark secrets, curiosity, and so on, but the catch is that the main male character is a fallen angel. He wishes to become human but in order for him to do that, he has to kill a human or he has to return as a guardian angel. He has a target but, of course, love gets in the way. Nora, our main heroine, is drawn into our main male character, Patch. Aside from his perfectly chiseled body, all the questions she's bombarded with raise Nora's curiosity. 'Who is this guy?'

They face a journey filled with enemies, close calls, a war, and more. But don't worry, there's a happy.. and frisky ending.

In the beginning especially, it's extremely noticeable that Becca Fitzpatrick was inspired by the layout of the Twilight saga. But DON'T LET THAT DISCOURAGE YOU. Although inspired, Fitzpatrick's writing and vision put Stephanie Meyer's to shame. Fitzpatrick's detail, imagery, and attention grabbing style makes it easy for readers to imagine themselves in the characters' shoes and creates a perfect, movie-like play-by-play in their head. All the mystery, secrets, and romance keeps readers (or at least myself) on their toes and makes them want more.

I honestly couldn't put these books down. I finished the entire saga in a day and a half, and I always find myself rereading it when I have nothing better to do. This was my go-to saga in high school and still is today.

The books, in order, are 'Hush, Hush', 'Crescendo', 'Silence', and 'Finale' as pictured.

2. 'The Forest of Hands and Teeth' series

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Written by Carrie Ryan, this is a post-apocalyptic romance filled with despair, tragedy, and love triangles. There is a fenced-in village in the middle of the woods, separated and considered to be the safest place in the world. The Unconsecrated, zombies that rose from a type of virus, are relentless when it comes to their victims. One bite, one open-wound injury created by an Unconsecrated inevitably transforms you into one of them, forcing you to leave your life behind. The main character, Mary, was a victim of the Unconsecrated because they took her family, except for her and her brother. Now they live alone amongst the other villagers and life-long friends with underlying love. Seeking the truth from the secretive Sisters, Mary is determined to get out of the village to find more survivors; more life aside from the surrounding undead.

The storyline stretches over time in Mary's life, into the next generation living among the Unconsecrated. It's a story of love, loss, and survival. Carrie Ryan's style and imagery makes it seem like you're in their shoes, at risk of becoming a victim of the undead. It's an exciting play-by-play that keeps you on your toes, attaches you to characters, and makes you yearn for the discoveries and survival.

I have reread this series to the point that the books aren't looking too great. They're paperback so that's relatively easy, but the spines and covers are definitely not the best quality anymore. And the pages.. oh lord. The first book came out in 2010, as did the second, and the third in 2011, which gives you a vague idea of how many times I've reread them over the years. I definitely recommend this series.

The books, in order, are 'The Forest of Hands and Teeth', 'The Dead-Tossed Waves', and 'The Dark and Hollow Places' as pictured.


I know, short list. But a short list consisting of seven books that are great reads. Perhaps I'm biased because I've reread them so much, aside from the fact that the more famous series/sagas in this genre bored me, nearly, to tears. When it comes to books, I tend to enjoy the underrated side of things. They don't get as much publicity but they are hidden gems that should be recognized more, especially these.

Maybe it takes a certain person to distance themselves from wizards, hobbits, and such? I don't know, but people have their preferences like I have mine.

I highly encourage and recommend these books to any and all readers. I guarantee you won't want to put it down. Hell, I didn't want to stop to eat and that's my favorite pass time since I'm basically a female incarnate of Joey Tribbiani. I had to literally be pulled away to eat, sleep, and go to work and class. If that doesn't convince you, I don't know what will.

Nowadays, I don't have time to read a lot. But I know with these books, I won't be disappointed. Very rarely do I recommend books so when I do, it's a must-read.

Although at the end of the day, the ultimate judgement is yours.

Happy reading!

JordynL
JordynL

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