Before the world told me I wasn't the definition of beauty, I thought I was beautiful.

Before the world told me my emotions were too much, I thought I was balanced.

Before the world told me to act a certain way, wear particular brands, and have an aesthetic, I was me.

Before all the boy drama, I thought boys were like the ones in the movies.

Before all of it, I had an idea of who I was, what I wanted, and how I saw the world, and now I don't know.

There are so many ways to begin a relationship, and the steps that need to be taken, so many ways to display your social media, so many ways to dress, so many trends to follow, and I just can't seem to keep up.

On one hand, we listen to music, and we watch movies that depict real emotion, and feeling, yet, we can't be like that in real life.

It's not cool to be real. It's not cool to wear your heart on your sleeve and be honest.

Because that is too much.

The world is filled with so many different types of people,

For some of us, we aren't as easily phased as others, we see things differently, we're more negative or positive, more creative or practical, and for some of us, we're more emotional.

Words can affect us, whether they are words spoken to us by our closest friends, or displayed on the front page of a magazine, they pierce our hearts with their messages.

They change the way we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves.

This isn't ideal, because in an ideal world nothing would phase us, we'd be so confident in who we were that no one could tell us otherwise, and while sometimes that may be the case, it just doesn't always happen.

It's like a candle burning inside of us, sending light to brighten our smiles and light to cheer up our eyes. When someone comes at us with an insult, or the world tells us we're not enough, it takes that light away.

We begin to feel shame and disgust for ourselves; feeling discouraged, we fall into depression.

We harm ourselves.

We lose motivation and forget who we were before because we don't feel like we can be that anymore.

The worst is when we personally dim our own lights when we've made a mistake or an error, and now we can't help but see ourselves in a totally new light.

That person we were before isn't safe, and we feel like we've ruined it.

We think, "well now I have this disease", "now I can't play this sport", "now I don't have a job", "now I'm alone".

Before it was like this, before I was like that before I had this, and before I had them, and now I'm not so sure anymore.

The world is always telling me that I'm not skinny enough, I'm too single, I don't have enough friends, I'm too emotional, I'm too honest, and I'm too open.

And before the world opened its big mouth, I thought differently.

Maybe it's my fault.

Maybe you feel the same way. I'm choosing to say to the world that I don't care anymore.

I cannot meet the standard.

I'll never do relationships the right way, I'll never have the body type I'm supposed to have, I'll never do things the way I'm supposed to, and meet all the trends.

Before the messiness of life that I've created for myself, and others have added to, there was me.

And there was you.

So here's to the before's, because it's never too late to go back.