Relationships are about love not unrealistic expectations

Don't let your relationship wish-list cloud your judgment

Don't let the superficial wishes stop you from understanding what you need in a relationship.


For a long time, I didn't understand what I needed in a relationship. Most of the reason why I didn't know what I needed in a relationship was because I didn't understand who I was. I am a beloved daughter of God. I am strong and weak, humble and proud, witty and dumb… I am a paradox, basically (insert the laughing and crying emoji faces here). I love forgiveness and I like sports documentaries even though I rarely play sports. I am so much more, but that's just a little about me so you understand I'm a real person.

The problem with my creation of a "future boyfriend wish list" was that this wish list was based on superficial things. Don't base your relationship on superficial things like hair color, your love of a certain t.v. show… stuff like that. Base a relationship on stuff that matters.

A wish list is full of specific traits, items, or hobbies you want in someone that, when it comes down to it, don't impact a relationship significantly. These wish list items don't add or detract from a relationship in a significant way because they are not that important to begin with.

The following are examples of preferred items some people have on their boyfriend/girlfriend wish lists:

~Must be taller than me

~Must be older than me

~Must have blue eyes so our children will also have blue eyes

~Must have a 3.5 or above GPA

~Must care about Italian poetry because I adore it

You might believe that some of these things are very important. Some of these things are important, but only within reason. For example, the GPA thing (for all of us students out there) helps show if someone is a hard worker. But we must remember grades do not show the full extent (or lack of) someone's work ethic. On the other hand, wanting someone with a certain body type, skin color, or age is absolutely ridiculous.

Please don't build your relationship on stuff that might change or something based on physical traits no one can control. Build a relationship that is rooted on things that actually matter, like your similarities on faith, approaches to life, desires for the future, etc.

If you haven't given these important things thought, then you need to figure it out. This isn't the advice you might want to hear, but it is the advice you need.

This is advice for people who are still single and tearing their hairs out wondering "WHY, God, WHY?!" Figure out what matters to you first so you can find a really great person who either cares about the same stuff OR is so amazing and open minded, that this person supports and respects your beliefs.

For my friends who are already in relationships – it is never too late to reflect on yourself and figure out what you need versus what you wish for. Reflection is good for a growing soul.

Some good traits to look for (and have yourself) are below:

~someone who apologizes without prompting ...and means it

~someone who forgives and doesn't hold grudges

~someone who is passionate about something (fly fishing, studying the saints, etc.)

~someone who approaches life with an open (yet critical) mind

~someone who is intentional with their relationships (romantic or not)

I could go on, but these are some great things to look for in someone you're interested in. You can also look at my previous article about what to think about before (and even during) a relationship.

Let's recap.

Base your relationship off of your needs instead of your wish list.

You won't regret it.


My friend Morgan Partlow's article is about finding your foundation (those things that are really important) and the other things that complement your foundation. It's a great read, I hope you check it out.

Cover Image Credit:

Hutomo Abrianto at

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21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.

1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

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Looking for a fright? Try "Dying Light."

Good night, good luck.


"This is Jade, get to the nearest safehouse and wait until dawn... Good night, and good luck." The radio goes off as your watch beeps. It is now 21:00, and you are in danger. In the night, things are never the same...

Dying Light is one of the most iconic zombie games of this era, featuring never before seen concepts in its genre. It also features one of the most scary features of all, drawing inspiration from Minecraft. Here are all the things that makes Dying Light terrifying. Beware, violent images ahead.

A better "Dead Island"

"Dying Light" was developed by Techland - a company famous for its prior zombie game: Dead Island. Dead Island was a hit due to its new mechanics involving heavy emphasis on melee combat and weapon crafting. This put players in a tough spot because unlike its predecessors of "Left 4 Dead" or "Killing Floor," guns are a rarity and survival depends on resourcefulness.

After the failed release of "Dead Island: Riptide" - a low effort expansion - Techland parted ways with their publisher Deep Silver, in pursuit of a game that they can formulate on their own.

Dying Light - Launch Trailer | PS4 Youtube

Flash forward to 2015, and "Dying Light" was released with massive success. It featured functions not available in "Dead Island" while debuting a new feature: parkour. Yes, you read that right, parkour.


Parkour was an interesting system to be implemented in a zombie game, but it would make total sense when you think more about it. Imagine the streets being filled with mindless zombies. One bite, and you're infected. Leave untreated, and you're gone. The rooftops is the only safe option, and you need the athleticism to scale buildings and run away from danger. In Dying Light, you're not a hunter. You're the hunted.

The night

Fear not the day, for night is your true enemy. In "Dying Light," zombies are infected with a special virus. This strain of virus is afraid of UV light, meaning that during the day, the zombies' motor functions are extremely suppressed, making them sluggish and dumb. But when night comes, the virus unleashes its full potential, turning slow zombies into athletic and crazed chasers that can pursuit you for miles at incredible speeds.

Run and pray they don't catch you Giphy

Other than that, at night, a special mutation of zombies appear called "Volatiles." They are athletically superior, incredibly strong, and are terrifying. They usually emit a gargling sound and makes clicking noises, both of which join together for a scary combo. Plus, in the night, you are vulnerable. Sneaking while watching out for monsters in the dark isn't exactly easy.

Equipped with a UV Flashlight with limited battery life, you are left with only one weapon for self-defense if you ever find yourself in a pursuit. And in all cases, just run.


"Dying Light" has an interesting approach to noise. Zombies are very sensitive to noises. A gunshot, an explosion, a car alarm, or a loud crash onto a crumbling building could attract hordes to your position. In this game, noises determine your survival at night. Know when to throw a firecracker for distraction or when to trip car alarm traps could mean the difference between surviving a night and not seeing the day.

Dying Light Noise Attracts Virals

Closing words

"Dying Light" promises a unique zombie experience different from most games. It's gritty, it's scary, and it's fun - these standards are those that game developers could only dream about when designing a zombie franchise. Nothing is more bone-chilling than hearing a volatile scream as the night comes, an explosion going off nearby, or when the sun sets gently behind the slums of Harran. But zombies aren't the only threats. Humans are an entire different ball game, but that's up to you to explore.

Good night and good luck...

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