If I were asked what my greatest weakness as a person is, I would say that it is my lack of ability to not only set a goal for myself but to have the mental fortitude to follow through and achieve my goal. There have been dozens upon dozens of sleepless nights where I am constantly fixating on this flaw; I would beat myself up over my lack of commitment and envy others who seem to just easily set a goal and breeze through it without wavering for a moment.
Today in this article, I am going to explain how I made the decision to become physically and mentally stronger and the progress I've made in the past three years.
1. My motivation for seeking change.
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Like most kids who turn thirteen and fourteen, I started becoming more and more self-conscious about my body, and more specifically, how skinny I was. I remember in middle school I wouldn't wear shorts because I would be embarrassed about my skinny legs. I would hate to wear shirts that were too big because of how small they made my arms look. It's not like I was bullied at school, it was just that I was self-aware enough to know that I could certainly be a whole lot better. I spent too many sleepless nights dwelling on the fact that I could be using my potential to a much higher capacity. Up until my sophomore year of high school, all I knew was that I wanted to change, I just didn't know how.
2. The time I finally decided to make a change.
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What finally made me realize how I could change was when I joined the ROTC program at my school. In this program, we were disciplined and pushed to our physical limits every week through rigorous training led by a cadet platoon commander in each class. My platoon commander's name was Cadet Ensign Kumar Mahabeer; he was without a doubt the most physically fit person there and would "subtly" remind us of this by doing 100 push-ups without breaking a sweat. It was his physical fortitude and commitment that inspired me to set this goal. He could start off just as skinny as I was and build his body, then I could do the exact same thing. All I needed to do was to get up and start doing it.
3. How I started off going to the gym and exercising.
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When I first started out, I had no idea what I was doing. Since I couldn't drive, I could only go to the gym whenever my mom was available. To circumvent this problem, I put together a schedule of daily goals, such as doing 30 pushups every morning and every night. As I learned to drive and finally got my first car, there was almost nothing stopping me from venturing out to the gym whenever I wanted. Over time, I slowly became a more regular gym-goer and started seeing actual results. I was toner, stronger, and felt more comfortable and confident in my body, which massively boosted my self-esteem. Despite all the good that had come from this progress, I still was nowhere near my goal.
4. How I realized what my goal should really be.
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Throughout my junior year, my gym regiment became extremely spotty. There would be long periods of time when I wouldn't work out whatsoever. Fortunately, during my senior year, I got back on my regular gym schedule and everything was fine. However, I reached a point where I looked myself in the mirror and think, "You can do better." So that is exactly what I did. I decided to get better. I started to research extensively on different body types, workout regiments, and what foods to eat for muscle growth. Since starting college, I wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning five days a week and walk to the Recreation Wellness Center and push my body to a point of pure physical exhaustion.
Once I'm done, I walk back to my dorm, make a protein shake, take a shower, and simply think. I think of all the things I need to get done and all the things that I could do. I ponder over stories, epics, characters, and worlds that live within my imagination. Never in my life do I feel as mentally focused as I do after I finish my workout. It is through these moments of mental clarity that I have realized that I shouldn't fixate on seeking perfection, rather setting my self on the path of progress and reaping the fruits of my accomplishments. Although my progression is slow and steady, I am still unbelievably proud of where I am now physically and mentally, and hopefully, this article will help someone else feel that same.