Each time I return to college after a break, whether it be a week, a month, or a couple days, I find myself overcome with sadness and wishing for it to be however many days into the future so I can go home again.

While it’s healthy for someone to become homesick from time to time during their stay at college, I feel like it’s the complete opposite for me. I do enjoy being on campus and benefiting from all of its perks. But at the same time, my only desire is to go home and be away from all things school-related, curled up in my bed where my family is just down the hall, and best friends are in the next town over.

It’s a weird mix, one where I wish I could settle on just one feeling, preferably the one that allows me to be happy at school. I see friends from high school, as well as current friends I’ve made on campus, acting like they’re having the time of their lives at college. Personally, I haven’t been able to understand that feeling quite yet.

I’ve always been a homebody, and I wish I could shake it.

College is a unique experience that presents many wonderful opportunities and changes that I’ve recognized for sure. But when I’m spending a majority of my time dwelling on my sorrows and wishing I was anywhere but here, it makes me feel as though I’m missing out on something incredible.

As the years progress, I’m hoping to shed this feeling. I’m beginning to learn to be independent in a completely new environment, something that will come with adulthood post-graduation. Being away from home will help me integrate into this, and although I’ll always miss home, my college years will hopefully teach me to learn to live away from it.