The definition of life is simple: the existence of humans. If life is something as simple as just existing, why is life so cruel?

Kindergarten was a time in my life where I was more worried about whether my pigtails were straight and even or whether I had the latest and greatest snack food in my lunch. I didn’t know that there could be any difference then in my daily routine. Say good morning to my parents, eat a good breakfast, go to school, come home and watch Disney movies. To me, life couldn’t get any better, well, maybe it could if my mom had baked her special brownies for me.

My mom and dad were the most important people to me. I felt like I had the best life as a kindergartener with my mom being the room-mom and coming and helping out in the classroom, or my dad taking me out of afternoon nap to go to Disneyland, a place where the both of us got to be us.

Today, my mom and dad are still the most important people to me, but instead of waking up to them in the kitchen, making my siblings and I breakfast, I have to drive the 30 minutes to their gravestone.

In May of 2005, the year I was in kindergarten, my mom and dad went on a weekend getaway in Laughlin. On their way, a car veered into their lane and crashed into them. They were killed instantly.

I was 6 years old. I don’t really remember how it happened, but I woke up one morning, the morning after they were killed, and I knew instantly something was wrong. My grandma, who I had been staying with that weekend, and my older sister, were in my room crying. I started to cry too, not really knowing why.

I kept asking for my mom and dad, and after each question, my grandma would cry harder, not knowing how to answer that question.

I, as well as my younger brother, moved in with my mom’s parents. My sister, going and living with her father, as she was only my half-sister.

Life is cruel. It never stops trying to get you to fall. Life just didn’t want me to have a good childhood. It was beyond cruel.

My grandparents were the best people to have in my life, they did everything that they physically and mentally could. I continued to play softball, my grandpa taking me to every practice and game, coaching me on the side just like my dad did. My grandma helping me with boys and to grow from a girl into a woman. I used to watch her bake and cook and then I would pretend that it was a restaurant and I was the waiter and my grandpa was a customer and my grandma was a cook.

As I got a little older, I continued to grow because of my grandparents. They pushed me to be the very best that I could be, making me take rigorous courses and helping me become educationally successful. The years went on and my grandparents continued to be the best step in parents that anyone could have.

We wished for nothing.

I had been living with my grandparents for nine years before tragedy struck again. My grandma, who had been diagnosed with breast cancer in the early 90’s, and CHF in 2008, had begun to retain liquid. Her legs would swell, her arms, her chest. Everything filled with fluid. Then, her kidneys failed, as well as her lungs. She had a pacemaker, which controlled her heart in pumping blood. That was the only functional organ in her body, and it wasn’t even on her own.

After many restless nights, we took my grandma into the emergency room. She stayed in ICU for three days before going into hospice. She passed away that night.

I can’t think of anything worse to happen to not only a 6-year-old girl but on top of that, a 15-year-old girl who didn’t have any other woman role model. Since having lost three of the most important people to me, it has made me stronger. I am able to get up every day and do everyday things without an excuse. I persevere, I don’t let horribly tragic events keep me back. I use them to push me to do better.

In the three years since she has passed, I have always thought that everything I do, that she would be proud of me. I continued to play softball in high school and I succeeded in my honors and advanced placement classes. I became a leader. Everything I did, and continue to do, is for her.

I want to do something and say to myself, “Wow, my parents and grandma would be proud of me."

I want to excel because it is what was destined for me. I have to prove to life that nothing is going to make me fall. Life has taken things away from me that everyone needs, but I have taken those things and turned them into good. I’m destined for college, I am a strong woman, I am intelligent, and I persevere through hardships.

Ever since my parents and my grandma have passed away, I don’t let this obstacle stand in the way of doing the right thing. I do it because it is the right thing.As my first year of college is coming to a close, I wanted to take time to reflect on what really got me to where I am today and how I became the person I am today.