As I sit here tonight thinking about everything that has been placed so heavily on my heart lately, I can't help but think about how mysterious our God is, my God is. A year ago I would not be sitting here writing this because I wouldn't have had the courage too. This time last year I would've been with a boy who I thought I was going to end up marrying. This time last year I was hanging out with my so called friends who didn't want to see me prosper in this life. This time last year I was in search of a new identity. Who was I and how much longer until I find out? How much longer was I going to feel voids in my life and try to fill those voids with temporary fixes?
A year later and I am constantly reminded of why I lost that relationship with that boy and those friends and why I lost myself. There was a reason and though I couldn't see it then, I see it clearly now and I am so thankful. I'm thankful because God knew what He was doing even when I had no idea. God took me out of those relationships so that I could see that they weren't fulfilling His will to live and glorifying Him daily. God allowed me to lose sight of who I was so that He could show me who He is as a Heavenly Father. Now, God has blessed me with some of the most positive uplifting gals who inspire me to take leaps of faith, never stop seeing the good in myself, and walk with a humbling joy in my heart because I know God is with me through everything life throws at me.
Why is God so mysterious to me? It's almost scary guys. He planned everything before I knew it was going to even take place. I needed to go through what I did. I needed to learn the hard way. I needed God to be the father He is and discipline me. And that's exactly what He did. He showed me what not to look for in a guy( actually I shouldn't be searching at all), how belittling my friends were, and how I let myself wander what seemed like miles and miles away from Him only to pick up right where we left off. I am so thankful for a God who loves me despite my doubts, stubbornness(I finally admit it), and everyday faults because no matter how much I mess up, he doesn't want me nonetheless.
I write this as a reminder to myself and to others that God is never too far away. He is constantly busy at work, always has something up His sleeve. I hope this encourages you to take a new leap of faith whether it's becoming apart of His kingdom or seeing for yourself how mysterious God is. He won't let you down and you'll be astonished at just how amazing He is. There is beauty in the mystery.
