I had mixed feelings writing this article because it is the exact bullsh*t that my old self hated hearing from other people. I would hear all the time, be your own hero, no one else can save you, you have to save yourself…. blah blah blah. I used to think it was utter nonsense and meant that I was going to be miserable forever because I had no idea what they meant or how I was suppose to do that.

I’m not sure if it’s socialization, media, or whatever but we are taught as girls that we need to be saved and boys are taught that they need to be the saviors. This is so wrong for everyone involved. We all need to be our own heroes and can’t expect anyone else to save us.

If you put all your growth and self-worth in others and something happens to those people you are going to feel lost and alone. We need to do the growing on our own and have others add to us, not be looking for our self worth in them. We might have relationships, whether it’s friendships or romantic relationships, they should be sources of support and comfort but not our heroes. That’s not their job.

It’s called personal growth for a reason, it’s personal.

If you are constantly looking for others to save you and fix you, you are never going to be fulfilled in life. I used to think my worth was based off what others thought it was. That got me into bad situations at times because if others valued me at less than I’m worth, I would feel insecure and little. I had to find myself and figure out my own worth. Now, if people don’t see my value and treat me the way I deserve then that person isn’t in my life.

Honestly screw anyone who doesn’t appreciate you and all your weirdness. I’m not saying I or anyone is perfect, we all have flaws, but that’s your responsibility to work on yourself and try to become the best version of yourself.

Being your own hero isn’t going to be the easiest or prettiest thing. Personal growth is ugly and painful at times. You are ripping yourself open, working on your deepest and most personal parts of yourself, and putting yourself back together. You are facing all of the darkest parts of yourself that you never really address and opening up every can of worms, some you didn’t even know you had. I promise you though, that in the end, it will be worth it.

Now looking back, all the stuff that people used to tell me that I despised hearing was all correct. I’m not really sure how it happened, there isn’t a step by step guide to personal growth and saving yourself, it’s just something you do. It also doesn’t happen over night, it’s a gradual process. For some, personal growth progress hits you in the face like a wrecking ball. For others, like myself, it’s a few months of working on yourself and you realize in a small moment of bliss that something you would have panicked about in the past no longer bothers you.

I know I have made personal growth sound like a scary process, which it can be, but it is also the greatest gift I have ever given myself. Being my own hero has made me a stronger, happier, and a self-compassionate person. It has helped me figure out who I am and who I want to be. Since I know who I am and what I want, I surround myself with people who truly add to my life and support me. I am continuously growing into the best version of myself possible.

It doesn’t matter how you start just start somewhere. It’s okay to find comfort and help in others, but don’t expect them to save you. Save yourself. Be your own hero.