Happiness is defined as a state of well-being and contentment, but what does that mean to us as individuals? Each of us has our own idea of what makes us truly happy. This idea consists of different people, places and experiences. What most of us fail to recognize is that happiness is a condition, not a destination.

I used to live my life focusing on something I had to look forward to:

I looked forward to weekends when school wasn’t on the schedule
I looked forward to moving to East Lansing and starting college
I looked forward to Christmas vacations, spring break, or the next trip I had coming up
I looked forward to starting an internship
I looked forward to graduating and getting a new job
I looked forward to starting grad school
I looked forward to graduating grad school
I looked forward to moving to a new city
I looked forward to moving into a new apartment
I looked forward to starting my career

By these examples, you can see I lived my life in short stages, waiting for the next big occurrence to show up at my door. I was always looking forward to “what’s next” – not because I was ready for it, but because I thought I would finally be happy when that stage was complete.

I found myself counting down the days until April 30, 2016. On this date, I would have completed all of my schooling. I had a trip to California planned and my sister was getting married the weekend following. On top of that, I was excited to move to a new city and start a career that held promise. To me, this was the point in my life I thought I would be truly “happy.”

What actually happened?

My family unexpectedly lost one of the biggest pieces of glue that held us together. I went to work on what I thought would be a normal Wednesday. Little did I know, everything would change after the call I received at 12:06. My idea of happy? That could no longer be reached.

We speed through life with the idea that one day we will be “happy.” But happiness isn’t the last stop…it isn’t an end point. Happiness is a condition, and conditions are temporary. They waver and interchange as we face different circumstances.

In the words of a character from one of my favorite shows, happiness is like

“being tired or hungry. It comes and it goes, and that’s ok. And if people thought of it that way, they would find happiness a lot more often.”

It’s OK to look forward to what’s next, but don’t dwell on that. Find happiness in instances, in memories, in moments.