Let's be honest—break-ups suck. Whether you dated a few months or a few years, it hurts to lose such a good friend who was such a big part of your life. If you're considering a friendship with your ex-lover, or have tried and failed to be friends, follow my personal guide below.
1. Take time to heal from the break-up.
Vintage Analog Clockhttps://wallpaperaccess.com/vintage-clock
At least one of you (probably both of you) will experience some pain and longing for the relationship. Take time to yourself to find who you are in your newfound single season by doing things that make you happy and spending time with people who matter most.2. Only pursue a friendship if you both truly want it.
The TV Show "Friends"https://www.facebook.com/friends.tv/
Relationships end for different reasons. Friendships have a lot of the same requirements that romantic relationships do—trust, communication, honesty, care. If your relationship ended because of one of these core practices of human interaction, it may be smart to move completely on. Forgive, but don't forget.
3. Lay out some ground rules.
Contracthttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contract
Set some standards for the process of building a new friendship together. Of course, avoid flirting, physical contact, discussion of new lovers, hanging out alone, etc. Sex is totally off-limits. Late night car rides are probably off-limits. Only you two know how you are as individuals and how you are with each other—know your limits with temptations!4. Accept that it is okay if the friendship does not work out.
A woman happily alonehttps://pixabay.com/photos/people-woman-girl-female-alone-2591167/
If you are unable to agree on standards and keep standards that will sustain your friendship, be mature enough to let go. Maybe it is only temporary, maybe it is permanent—either way, know when enough is enough. The more you try, the messier things will become, and the more it will hurt both of you in the end.5. Be supportive of new chapters in your lives.
Chapter book floating in libraryhttps://www.sleepadvisor.org/reading-before-bed/
Whether you are befriending your high school sweetheart or most recent ex, make sure to embrace the new chapter of each other's lives. Be supportive of new jobs, new homes, new passions, and new lovers (when the time is right). At the end of the day, your friends should be your biggest supporters. Offer each other a supporter who knows who you were, knows who you are, and knows who you can be.