A Battle Just To Breathe

A Battle Just To Breathe

A look into my battle with anxiety.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Find your pulse. You are breathing. You are alive. Inhale. Exhale. Put pressure on your collarbone. Let the weight calm you. Inhale. Exhale.

This is the mantra I play in my head every time I have an anxiety attack or just experience an overwhelming sense of uneasiness. I've been dealing with anxiety for years now, and it wasn't up until a few years ago that I began to share this with others.

Something I learned this past year in college is that I am a very sympathetic person. I have a deep desire to please everyone and make sure that everyone is happy, and know that they are worth caring for. It physically pains me to see people I know and care about hurt, and feel like I could have done something to prevent their hurt. I put the whole situation upon myself, and that is the main thing that causes my anxiety.

Anxiety unfortunately is more than just a mental and emotional struggle. Anxiety shows itself in various forms, and for me it is shown in my breathing and scratching on my arms. The mantra I wrote above is the exact thing I do or say every time I begin to feel anxious. Sometimes it works right away and other times it doesn't and I have to fight the want to just explode. Breathing really is a battle.

Now if you know me in real life or have seen my social media accounts it might be hard to believe I deal with such heavy anxiety. That is because, one I choose to not let my anxiety define me and two, I have the Lord on my side. If I choose to let my anxiety define me, I am letting my anxiety and the devil win. And that is just not an option anymore. I am learning to find worth in myself, and see what God sees me as. I breathe because He gives me breath and the strength to fight on.

I'm not writing this to receive pity or attention. I am doing this because God works all things together for His good, and has given me a story to share and inspire others with.

You are loved and you are worth every breath.

Cover Image Credit: Kamryn Malenius

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Poetry On Odyssey: Some Days

A poem that reminds you that you're not alone.


Some days,

You dread the sound of your alarm. You snooze and snooze and snooze and snooze.

When you finally pull yourself out of bed, pressed time forces you to throw on stained sweats

you find yourself chugging a cup of coffee.

You sit on the couch and contemplate calling out of work

You caught the stomach bug,

Or perhaps the flu,

Maybe you broke your collar bone

Or need a new phone

The endless list of excuses repeats through your head as you sit on the couch, wishing you were still in bed.

It takes every ounce

Every breath

Every fiber of your being to pull yourself off the couch

And into the car

And into the building where you work

Some days,

This is just how it goes

You are not alone.

Some days,

You awake to the beautiful sound of birds

Chirping outside your window

The sun sneaks its way into your room

A smile creeps across your face as you realize you are awake to see a new day

You make a good breakfast

You read a few pages of your favorite book

You get your mind ready for the things it will accomplish today

Before you know it you've worked an entire day

Your job is done

As you pull into your driveway,

you take a few breaths

Feeling grateful for another meaningful day.

Some days,

This is how it goes

You are not alone.

Every day is a gamble,

Every day is a gift

The key to getting more good days

Is believing that everyday is one.

You are not alone, this is just how it goes.

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