How I Met Barney Stinson and Learned A Lot

Eleven years ago, “How I Met Your Mother” introduced six dynamic characters to the world, and as Americans watched the characters fall in love, we too, fell in love with each of them. While each person has their memorable quirks and characteristics, it’s undeniable that Barney Stinson is one of the show’s most entertaining and hilarious characters. Ever since the show’s first season, Stinson has displayed (and proudly at that) several of his social theories which are “never wrong.” As “How I Met Your Mother” fans binge watch and re-binge watch the episodes, it’s safe to say that Barney Stinson’s self-made rules have not only convinced his other friends, they may have convinced us.

1. The Chain of Screaming Theory

This theory essentially says that once a person is screamed at by a higher authority, then he or she must also scream at a person who is lower. The example given in the show is when Marshall’s boss’ boss yells at Marshall’s boss who yells at Marshall, who yells at Lily who yells at a student. The student screams at her father, who turns out to be Marshall’s boss’s boss, thus completing the chain of screaming.

This theory is more than likely to appear in real life, as people tend to vent their anger out on someone else. Who better to be the target than someone below you?

2. Revertigo

This theory suggests that if you’re in the presence of an ex, you become reverted to the kind of person you were when with them. In many cases however, this doesn’t even have to be an ex! Even a friend who you haven’t seen in a long time may trigger memories from when you were with them, and when you start thinking back to that time, BAM! Revertigo.

3. The Lobster Situation

This one’s simple. Robin, who, after being told she was allergic to lobsters, craved them more than ever. And just like her, people always want what they can’t have. Maybe it’s about having an option taken away from you. Or maybe there’s a small child in each one of us, who always tries to get what’s hardest to get. Either way, there’s no doubt this one plays out many times in our life.

4. Graduation Goggles

Remember that nostalgic feeling right before you’re about to graduation from middle school, high school, or college? Or even when you’re leaving a place you know you won’t return to for a while. While you may have dreaded being in school while you were there, it’s the fact that you’re leaving that makes you feel like it’s worth holding on to.

5. The Platinum Rule

The platinum rule (even higher than the golden rule) insists that a person should never date someone they see regularly. This includes neighbors.

The stages include:

1) Attraction

2) Bargaining

3) Submission

4) Perks

5) Tipping Point

6) Purgatory

7) Confrontation

8) Fall Out

9) Co-existence

While co-existence may be the best case scenario, it’s certainly hard to reach that stage. For sake of a pretty darn good example, How I Met Your Mother had dedicated an entire episode to explaining this very theory.

6. Nothing Good Happens After 2 a.m.

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Easily put, nothing worth your while will happen after 2 a.m., and you should just go to sleep! Unless it’s a big project that’s due the next day, you’ll most likely regret whatever you do once the clock strikes two.

7. New Relationship Smugness

We’ve all been there. Whether we’re the ones in the new relationship or the ones witnessing it, new relationship smugness is something so common in our everyday lives. When you see that new couple change their Instagram bio to each other’s names, or walk around attached at the hip, you know that they’re just trying to rub it in your face. But, just like in the show, this is a phase that’s bound to end.

8. The Lemon Law

Many people will be surprised to know that The Lemon Law is a real law in the United States. This law provides a remedy for purchasers of cars and other consumer goods which fail to meet proper standards. Barney, on the other hand, applies this law to dating. He says that from the minute the date begins, you have 5 minutes where you can simply raise your hand, say “Lemon Law,” and just walk away. No hard feelings, no wasted time. Maybe this law should be used more.

9. The Olive Theory

Just like magnets, opposite personalities attract! The Olive Theory says that a relationship will work if one person in the couple likes olives, and the other one doesn’t. While Lily and Marshall have shown that this isn’t always the case, it’s nice to know you can have bits of your partner’s plate without feeling bad at all.

10. The Pause/Unpause Function

The Pause/Unpause Function is genius. Everyone needs a break once in awhile! When two people are fighting, they can use the pause/unpause to temporarily put off the argument, and get actual work done in between. It’s incredibly useful when you’re tired of fighting, or simply out of arguments.