Sometimes Bad Situations Are Blessings In Disguise

Sometimes Bad Situations Are Blessings In Disguise

My money troubles made way for solutions I never anticipated.
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Usually, when bad stuff happens to me, I just grit my teeth through it and whether the terror 'till the situation subsides.

Lately, however, when bad stuff happens to me, it paves the way for a blessing I didn't expect.

Anyone who knows me personally is aware that I'm bad with money. From the very first job I ever got as a teenager, I have been directed on what to do with my money. People in my life were upset when I wanted to do what I wished to do with my own money. However, I still spent my money on what I wanted — leading them to accept that it was my way or the highway.

My freshman year in college introduced me to the mighty credit card. They were being passed out on campus like free ice cream. No one taught me about credit before. All I knew was I now had a free $500 card! 'Till the statement came. Once I paid the cards off, I cut them up and learned not to depend on them (for a few years, anyway).

As a young adult, there came checking account miscalculations. I'm not a mathematician, so balancing a checkbook was too difficult a task. As a result, my checking account was always in the hole and coupled with the fact that I spent my money on whatever and whenever, that account was closed. This fiasco paved the way for me to do away with dealing with banks altogether and stick to prepaid accounts.

For the last 10 years, I've been under the spell of the payday loan. I took out small ones at first — $176 every paycheck. I couldn't get enough of having an extra $125 every paycheck! When I was starting to go overboard, I stopped the small loans, and then left the job I was at.

I had a couple of opportunities to maintain a second job which helped me immensely financially. Then I ran into a nightmarish roommate situation where I needed to get out ASAP. This is where the big loans came in and saved me.

I was a loyal customer to CashNetUSA for years. They gave me sizable installment loans without the runaround and worked with me when new jobs or medical emergencies messed up my payback schedule.

I kicked my payday loan habit for two years, and then I wanted to get another one. However, when you drop the habit and come back, your rhythm gets disrupted. So now, until I pay them back and take another break from payday loans, I'll be in the clear to start again.

Currently, I've been trying to find another payday loan place that is as good as CashNetUSA because I'm hurting since again I've been denied to finish my last semester. No school = no refund check = no bills are getting paid again. Then my boss asks me to work extra hours since I'm not in school. This means the 30 extra hours I'm working every two weeks will pay the bills I'm behind on.

Bad financial predicaments happen to me often. Yet somehow something out of left field comes along and changes my situation for the better. Often, the new way requires more work on my part. Hard work doesn't bother me, as long as I can overcome a setback because of it. I don't know if it's fate intervening at the last minute for me or a Guardian Angel looking after me, but I'll take it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Part 1: Necessary Changes

One of my favorite movies is "Fried Green Tomatoes" with Kathy Bates. In the movie Bates' character Evelyn Couch says, "Someone helped put a mirror up in front of my face, and I didn't like what I saw one bit. And you know what I did? I changed." I know the feeling.

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I looked in the mirror over the weekend and didn't like what I saw.

The person I saw looking back at me is petty, selfish, manipulative, and unattractive. It wasn't that I hated what I saw, but I definitely didn't like what I saw either. It's a surreal feeling, looking at yourself through a critical lens, and it doesn't make you feel good in any way shape or form.

The image that I see of myself is not how I want others to perceive me. I want to be someone that people look at and see kindness, compassion, strength, and confidence.

I have enough general life experience to know that these types of changes aren't going to happen overnight, and not all of them will be physical; most of these will have to happen from the inside, from within myself.

When you find out you are all broken and damaged, it's hard to know where to start putting the pieces back together. I figured the best place to start would be the most literal: my actual insides; so, I decided to embark on a deep-cleansing journey to get all of the toxins out of my body, from the inside out.

I found this book on 10-day green smoothie detox stashed away in the dark corner of my bookshelf. The science behind it seems accurate and legitimate. By eliminating certain foods, your body is able to detox itself off of chemicals and foods that are slowing down your metabolism; the smoothies are specifically designed with combinations of foods that help restart your metabolism. Part of the detox process is getting rid of all dependencies on caffeine, alcohol, and sugar.

Every day you are given the recipe for a specific smoothie; you make the smoothie (about 40 ounces) and sip on it throughout the day whenever you get hungry. Every smoothie is a combination of leafy greens, water, fruit, and flax seeds. If you do happen to get hungry throughout the day, you are encouraged to eat raw nuts, hard boiled eggs, and a wide variety of crunchy green vegetables. There is also a detox tea that you have first thing in the morning, but other than that no other beverages are allowed except water.

I know that this is only the beginning of a very long, emotional, and draining journey. But I think I'm at the point in my life where I have to make these changes. I have to put my pieces together, I have to become a normal functioning adult, I have to find out who I am. I think that this is the perfect way to start.

For the next 10 days I am going to be documenting my experiences, how I'm feeling, what my emotions are doing, and any results that I see.

Stay tuned!

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