It’s been about nine years since I last read the Twilight books, and maybe five years since I saw one of the movies. Now that I’m older, the more I think about it, I don’t think Bella should have chosen Edward. I think that Twilight displayed one of the most toxic and unhealthiest relationships ever.
I know what you’re saying. "Twilight! Really?! Aren't you like 9 years too late?"
Well, yeah! You're right. But I can’t believe how obsessed I was with these books. Let alone how the whole world was obsessed with a girl who had, hmm…problems.
First, let me say that I was a cold hard fan when the books and movies came out. I’m a romantic, what can I say? I love cheesy stuff like that. The books were perfect; they made every girl want a romance like that. A romance unlike any other two people destined to be together. No matter what comes their way, their love will overpower it all, and they will live happily ever after.
A guy like Edward, who was seemingly perfect, with a cold posterior, and a warm gooey center in the middle. Over protective, unwavering, charming, and to put icing on the top, he’s a vampire. Then we have Bella, far from the everyday girl. She is described as weak and clumsy, yet mature, shy, a loner and sensitive; a regular damsel in distress...
Anyway, the romance starts off like every romance, with the mystery, the longing, "I know it’s wrong, but it feels right", pushing each other away, then coming back together. And then, finally they’re together after chapters of pining for each other, and its True Love.
Now, here’s where it gets crazy. In the first book, their love was innocent and good. Maybe a little unorthodox sure, considering their love caused a crap load of problems (like putting Bella’s life in danger majority of the book), but still a good romance, nothing's horrible about it. But, the second book, New Moon, that’s when I think the author started destroying her main character, as well as the romance. In the beginning of the second book, let’s just say something happens to Bella, which forces Edward to break up with her and leave town. (To be fair, Edward actually wants the best for Bella, even if she doesn’t. And is actually a pretty good guy).
Bella then goes into this deep depression, she’s devastated and broken because, well, it’s like she literally died after her true love abandons her. This isn’t some regular break up, she literally is dead inside. She barely does anything. She won't eat or hang out with her friends, and sleeping gives her nightmares that literally have her falling apart (Shmoop). She literally spends several months like this. Going through a break up, you are allowed to go through a depression. (You’re allowed to be in pain. I personally have never gone through a break up like this, I don’t know of anyone who has, and if I do, they never told me. I don’t think the way Bella handled her break up or relationship was healthy. But some people identify with her, I just want to say this is my personal opinion. You don’t have to agree with it.)
If her actions don’t say unhealthy, then I don’t know what does. During this portion of the story, she is forced to make a change after her father threatens to send her packing to her mom’s. Cue in Jacob, the second male lead, who becomes somewhat her crutch to reality. So much so, the thought of losing him puts her on this literal edge. She holds him on this pedestal, not as high as Edward, but still pretty high. Jacob and Bella end up spending a lot of time together, which was good for her, she actually started to do better. Bella and Jacob start taking on certain extreme sports (wink wink) ………………Naaah, I’m just joking with you, lol!!!
By extreme sports, I mean dirt bike riding, jumping off of cliffs, etc. As soon as Bella tries the first extreme sport, Edward comes to her in a vision, telling her to not to do it, to be safe, and that he loves her. So what does she do? She put herself in harm’s way.
WHY?!?! you ask? So she can see Edward...isn’t that the craziest thing you’ve ever heard? Like, literally putting herself in harm’s way to see a figment of her imagination. Bella has put herself in harm’s way for this dude in every book. Bella makes these rash decisions when it comes to Edward, which on some level I understand because she loves him. But she doesn’t think. She refuses to move forward, refuses to let go, refuses to try anything else, but is content with staying loyal to her one true love who left her.
But whatever, it isn’t like she has a mom, or dad, or friends, or other options. She’s happy giving up her literal whole life for him…but whatever. That’s love!
Heck, they even made a fan fiction 50 Shades of Grey, which was an even more unhealthier relationship. 50 Shades of Grey parallels with the idea of an unhealthy relationship. It's basically Twilight without the bondage and sex (not saying that there isn’t healthy relationships that include bondage). However, Anastasia didn’t act like this when the break up happened, she kept it moving. Let’s not even talk about how low key crazy Christian Grey was.
Which makes me ask, why were we, as a society, so obsessed with being like this girl? I mean, Edward wasn’t any better. Sure he was a hot guy, but he had problems as well, constantly making decisions for Bella. Controlling and territorial when it came to her. Also, dude was damaged, like tortured soul type damaged. Also, a low-key stalker. If you read Midnight Sun, Stephanie Meyer's take on Edward's point of view, it was rather good.
Nine years ago, Bella was the "It Girl" we all wanted to be. But why? Why did we so badly want to be like her, let alone have a relationship like hers? It wasn’t a healthy relationship; it didn’t make her a better person. If anything, things got worse for them in every book. Bella isn’t a role model for girls or a romantic relationship. We should want a relationship that makes us be a better person, and want to do better, and even if you break up, you take a step forward not five steps backward. A break up should never stop you from living your life.
Shmoop Editorial Team. “Isabella ‘Bella’ Swan in New Moon.” Shmoop, Shmoop University, 11 Nov. 2008, www.shmoop.com/new-moon/isabella-bella-swan.html.