I am sure you have seen a meme making fun of the friend who is the “baby” of the friend group. The youngest of them all.
Well, that is me.
Somehow in college amongst my collection of friends, I am typically the youngest and my friends enjoy reminding me of this a lot.
In my sophomore year, my roommates are comprised of a senior and two juniors. One of my closest friends is my year in school, but took a gap year and is, therefore, a year older than me. I work with and have become close friends with a lot of seniors who are getting ready to graduate and desert me. And even amongst my friends who were also born in 1998, with a June birthday, I am always a little young in comparison to the rest.
A few weeks ago, I was lovingly berated by a friend who came to the realization that I am not even 20 yet. To her, I am still a “youth” in her teens.
Much of the emphasis on being the “baby” of the friend group comes in during the awkward gap that I am in right now where some friends are 21 but others are not which therefore seemingly inhibits brunch and happy hour plans. I do not mind it if my older friends drink when we are out for brunch, or dinner, or happy hour because that’s what my parents do and I don’t see much difference.
But of course, there are plenty of times I wish I were finally of age and able to drink out with the rest of them, but that time will come eventually.
I don’t mind being the “baby” of the friend group though.
I have always had the tendency to be a bit more mature than my peers for my age. Although I think my senior roommate would argue that point since I also have a goofball side of me that tends to come out when you live with me 24/7. But I think it is my maturity that draws me to these people and make friends with them. I still have a little bit of that little kid mentality where I look up to these friends in my life and think “Wow, they are so cool. I want to grow up to be just like them someday.”
But even then there are some times where I catch myself thinking, “What if I seem too inexperienced?” or “Does this sound okay?” This is mainly when I am developing my friendships with people who are a few years more “wise” than I am. Since I am usually so “in awe” of them or think highly of them, I just want to seem equally as cool as they are.
I completely realize that what I just said is very trivial.
The age between friends doesn’t matter and should not matter when it comes to building relationships. What should be of the most importance is that each person in a friendship gets the most out of the relationship.
So, sure, perhaps when you have friends who have a few years more experience on them, they can pass along some of their knowledge and as someone who is younger, you can lend a fresh perspective or some youthful energy. But ultimately the number we attach to people and label as their age doesn’t really matter, even though from my experience, society has built social structures in a way in which age does matter.
So I will continue to be in awe of the fact that the older “cool” kids want to be my friends and I am sure when I am in a situation when I am older, I will be flattered and excited when someone who is younger wants to be my friend. So, this nervous excitement goes both ways in this situation.
And yes, I will continue to happily be the “baby” of the friend group and will try to take the jokes as best as I can and even poke fun at myself from time to time about how I am a literal child in terms of my age amongst many of my friends.