I'm The Kind Of Person Who Is Awkward Around People I Find Attractive, Dangit

I'm The Kind Of Person Who Is Awkward Around People I Find Attractive, Dangit

I would also love to tell you about the time I almost went into the boys' bathroom at school because a cute boy was nearby.

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I have been in numerous conversations about what I am like around people I find attractive. As I was lost for what I should write this week, our team's GroupMe conversation sparked an idea. Why not write about something so many people can relate to? So, here it goes.

For as long as I can remember I have been incredibly awkward around people I find attractive. It's terrible. Really, it is. I could be in a conversation with a friend of mine, and a cute guy could walk in and my arms do weird things. I don't know how it happens.

I don't know why it happens, but it does. It's horrifying.

If I am around a guy who I am interested in, I probably won't know how to talk. I will say things I wouldn't usually say. I know for a fact I'm beet red and my already overactive sweat glands are even more active now.

Let me tell you a story. I was still in high school at the time and a crush on a guy in my class. Anytime he talked me I was flustered. We could be talking about napkins in the cafeteria, and I wouldn't know what to do with my arms or legs. I would try to make eye contact with him, but I was so smitten I didn't have any clue how to be "normal."

Anyways, I think I have always been like this, but maybe not. If I haven't I want to know why it started in high school instead of ended in high school. I'm not kidding. I become so awkward because I am so attracted to these guys who make me laugh and smile all the time, I simply don't know what to do. My friends have tried to help me, but I remain the same. I am still the good 'ole squat and throw peace signs up when a cute boy talks to me. I'm kidding I don't do that. I have taught myself that's not what people do.

I would also love to tell you about the time I almost went into the boys' bathroom at school because a cute boy was nearby. It was freshman year in high school. I was at my friend's locker and she asked me if I could throw something away for her. I said yes. I turned around to look for a trashcan. I saw one out of the corner of my eye in the boys' bathroom. Keep in mind, it was about 7 a.m. at this time. Without thinking about it, I start to walk. I see this cute guy and I walk faster to avoid an uncomfortable run-in. I hear my friends shout: "Emily, NO, that's the boys' bathroom." Of course, I sprint away. He saw me later on and brought it up. I couldn't look at him because I was so embarrassed.

There are so many stories I could tell you, but I don't want to embarrass myself too much because I already do that enough. I'm definitely not the person who is great at expressing feelings in the right away in the moment. I don't mean to avoid it, I am simply not good at it. To sum it up, I guess I could say it's okay to be awkward around people you find attractive. It's okay to be flustered and not know what to do. At one point, you'll have to decide if you want them to know or not. If not, that's okay. If you do, I'm rooting for you!

One more thing, I have this recurring nightmare I'm going to embarrass myself at my wedding that doesn't exist. If that doesn't tell you something, then I'm positive you are never awkward or weird around people you find attractive. Let's remember, we're all in this together! Whether we are awkward or not, let's support each other and root people on! Now go be uncomfortable around people you think are cute!

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12 Things That Happen When Your Person Is Far Away

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The concept of having "a person" was first introduced by "Grey's Anatomy," and took off faster than I'm sure the writers expected. For a lot of us, our person is far away. Here are some things that happen when this is you and your person:

1. You will have separation anxiety right off the bat.

2. You get irrationally jealous when they post a picture with someone else.

3. You literally text each other about everything, and I mean everything.

4. You know better than to call them if you have less than an hour to talk.

5. You stalk their Instagram so you still feel like a part of their life.

6. All your school friends know who they are because you're constantly telling stories about them.

7. When you come home for breaks they're usually the first person you see.

8. They're also usually the last person you see.

9. Your Snapchat streak is abnormally high.

10. You tell them you love them more than your significant other.

11. You send an average of 400 texts to each other in one day.

12. You miss having someone you don't have to explain anything to.

To my person, I love you no matter the distance! Thanks for always being there for me.


Cover Image Credit: http://guardianlv.com/2014/05/greys-anatomy-season-finale-goodbye-dr-cristina-yang-recap/

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True Love From The Perspective Of A Cynic

What if marriage isn't my biggest dream?

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I've always believed in true love. I've always believed that, someday, I am required to find a person who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who I would love and cherish for the rest of my life. Recently, however, I think I've noticed that my view of true love is way romanticized.

From the time we are born, we are constantly told that it is our goal in life to find a partner; that our biggest dream should be to settle down, get married, and have kids. This, however, has led to an unshakeable idea that, unless you are married by a certain age, you are broken. And if you decide that you don't want this particular dream, they say there is something inherently wrong with you. If you choose a career over kids, they say you don't have your priorities straight.

The problem with this is that it is not everyone's dream to settle down. There is so much hate towards those who choose the single life, or those who decide that their career is their bigger priority. We look down on people who are okay with being single. They don't want to get married, so they must be crazy, right?

This can be seen in media everywhere, particularly in film and literature. We all know that character in every romance movie who thinks they don't want to find a partner, but by the end, they are hopelessly in love. They couldn't even see why they didn't want love before. They were empty before they met the love of their lives.

Now, this can be okay sometimes. If you are in a relationship where you are happy, and you make your partner happy, that's amazing! All the power to you. This article is not geared toward you. I can appreciate and respect that love exists, and it is all over the place!

Given this, so many people, particularly in the high school and college age, are believing this idea that you are not whole until you have found your "person." The problem with this is, instead of promoting the idea that ensuring your own self-love and confidence would help you to allow others to love you as well, we are forcing teenagers and young adults to get into relationships with people they are unhappy with. And they are too scared to leave their unhappy, unhealthy relationship because of an innate fear of being alone that has been instilled since childhood.

So, instead of leaving this unhappy relationship to look for one of the other 7.6 billion people in the world, they stay with someone who isn't right for them. Seems crazy on paper, doesn't it? The fundamental need for a partner, which has been rooted in a systematic society, causes people to stay with, and eventually marry, someone they don't love.

No wonder 46% of marriages end in divorce.

We have covered up this statistic practically to the point of normalization. But this should be shocking, infuriating even! It should make us question our systematic view of love! Almost half of the people who get married end up divorced. Almost half. Has it sunk in yet?

Don't get me wrong, I believe 100% in true love. I believe that it happens often. My parents have been married for 24 years and they are absolutely in love. There are hardships, and ups and downs, but they put in the work because they love each other so intensely. So no, I'm not saying that true love doesn't exist.

What I am trying to say is that there is more to life that can make you happy than finding your 'true love,' and your self-worth is not defined by your ability to find a partner. Your biggest dream should be doing what makes YOU happy. For some people, that's finding your true love and settling down. For others, it's building up their career and finding happiness in that. And sometimes it's neither of those; it's something different for every single person. But we have zero right to disapprove of others' choices and priorities. Your dream should be your own happiness, not based on what society thinks is right.

Not to mention, your decisions are yours alone! So can we stop shaming those who choose differently than ourselves?

You are not broken because you don't want to settle down. You are not incomplete. You are whole because of you, not because of an idealized notion of love. Do what makes you happy.

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