As my father says, “there aren’t many things I hate these days,” but Mondays are an exception to this statement. Whether this dislike of Mondays is because it is the end of the weekend, the beginning of a week, or because other reasons, Mondays are not something I look forward to on a regular basis.
1. Live in a Friday, obviously.
Or a Thursday. Or a Wednesday. Or a Tuesday. Please, just anything but Monday.
2. Watch Netflix.
Almost too obvious to be on this list.
3. Watch Hulu.
Nothing on Netflix? Time for Hulu. Catch up on last week's TV shows.
4. Watch anything to distract me from the fact that it's Monday.
No, seriously, anything.
5. Take a nap.
Or two. Or three. Maybe we'll just nap until it's Tuesday. Or maybe until it's Friday.
6. Read a book.
At this point it is anything that isn't a textbook.
7. Watch Corgi videos.
Twerking Corgis. What's better?
8. Google "How you can get a do into a dorm room legally."
Comfort dog, anyone? I mean, how hard can it really be to sneak in pets?
9. And when that fails, watch more Corgi videos.
Duh.
10. Make your lofted bed.
We all know how disastrous that can be without an army to help.
11. Run and don't stop running.
It's Monday, it's not like anyone will really notice your absence, right?
12. Eat your weight in food.
And them maybe ice cream. #noragrets
13. Wash dishes.
It's been a few days now. Time to avoid responsibilities with dish washing.
14. Actually post pictures to Facebook.
Because we always say we will, but who really has time for that?
15. Do that research project that is due finals week. Do it in January.
Did someone say ahead of the game?
Obviously.
17. Watch movies and pretend your responsibilities don't exist.
Can this be true of days other than Monday too? Please?
18. Drink way too much tea and coffee.
How hyper can we get on this Monday?
19. Pretend that Mondays don't exist.
We do that anyways, but ... take more time out of our Monday to pretend more.
20. Go talk to your professors.
So, about that presentation next week ... can we not?
21. Go talk to your family.
Please bring me home from this awful day called Monday.
22. And maybe even answer the "What do you want to do with your life?" question.
OK, maybe we won't go that far.
23. Make lists of all the things you have to do.
And then cry in your sorrows for the amount of work you have to do.
24. And then burn that list.
What's out of sight is out of mind, right?
25. Try to fix your printer.
It's been two months since it worked. Time to get on that.
26. Wash your laundry.
You just washed it two days ago, but rewashing it will take time, right?
That'll take an hour or two, right?
28. Reorganize your closet.
It's perfectly fine the way it is, but this will take time, right?
29. Take another nap because this Monday is just not happening. Once you realize you can't avoid Monday, just nap it off.