Assuming Women Are Going To Have Kids As Soon As They Get Married Is An Archaic Assumption

Assuming Women Are Going To Have Kids As Soon As They Get Married Is An Archaic Assumption

It's 2018, and having kids is no longer a woman's only purpose.


Young women everywhere can attest to the statement that they are constantly being asked when they're going to have children. Once out of college, in a serious relationship, engaged, or already married, it's just expected they are planning on having kids with her spouse. This is an archaic assumption and should be reconsidered, specifically for this generation.

According to the New York Times, Americans are having fewer babies, i.e. the millennial generation, for a number of reasons. Child care is too expensive, they do not have a partner yet, struggling with work-life balance, and among many others.

Compared to previous centuries, when the only things a woman was expected to do were have babies and take care of the household, women are freer to do what they want with their lives in the 21st century. Times have changed; women are hardly restricted to the home anymore. Many women are career oriented and are doing great things for the world and themselves. They should not be pressured to have children on top of being focused on their own lives.

Children become the center of a person's life, which can be a beautiful thing, but society must start accepting the fact that having your life taken over and dictated by a baby just isn't for everyone. More and more people desire freedom to do as they please for more of their lives, which is totally okay! Whether it be waiting until later to have children or not having children at all, they are free to do as they please.

With the widespread feminist culture that has surged across the world in the last century, gender equality is something that is now fought for in a variety of countries. We cannot be a gender-equal society and still be expecting all women to have children. As Philip Cohen states for the New York Times, "There is no getting around the fact that the relationship between gender equality and fertility is very strong: There are no high-fertility countries that are gender equal."

Expecting all women to reproduce only keeps us down. It is one of the gender stereotypes that has stuck around as long as humankind has existed. You would not be inclined to ask a man when he is planning on having kids, would you? No, because men are expected to work and build a career. If men and women are to be equal, this question needs to die, just like the expectation for a woman to marry and keep the home for her husband.

Next time you see a newlywed woman, do not ask her when she is having children. Try asking her about her career or what she has been doing in her free time. We all know she would love that discussion more than the assumption that she must have kids.

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A Thank You Letter to My Fiance

You've outdone yourself in every way, ever.

To the man who got down on one knee just a few days ago,

Thank you. I'm not thanking you for proposing to me. That would be silly. I'm thanking you for so, so much more. Since you've come into my life, you've brought so much goodness, fun and laughter along with you. It goes so much deeper than that though. You've helped me become the best version of me, and that's something I'll never be able to repay. There are so many little things you've done that I just can't go any longer without putting it down in writing. This is an ode to you, the man that took his rough hands and helped mold me into the best version of me.

Thank you for seeing past my façade. I know I was in a rough spot before we started dating. I had come out of a terrible relationship, and I never thought I would be happy again. I put up a wicked wall. I put up walls that were covered in dark lipstick and an attitude that I didn't need a single person other than myself. You saw right through that. You saw someone that was hurting, and desperately needed someone but didn't want to get hurt again. It took you months, but eventually brick by brick, the wall came down.

Thank you for your patience. I'm not an easy person to love sometimes, I can admit that. I'm anxious, and I'm stubborn when I have a point to prove. I can have days that I think the world is ending because work just isn't going right. There are other days that I feel like I'm invincible and nothing can touch me. Thank you for going through all of these ups and downs with me. You don't just go through them with me, but you talk me through it, or as you call it, "talking me off the ledge". It's a weekly occurrence. I can't believe I get to marry someone that not only understands my moods and my anxiousness but who wouldn't want me any other way.

Thank you for bringing out the best version of me. When we met, I was going through a rough spot. I had stopped really caring about doing my makeup or feeling pretty. I know a lot of girls would say that it shouldn't matter, but for me, it was something I so enjoyed. When we met, I was working a really male oriented job. I felt the need to fit that mold and be a tomboy in order to be respected and taken seriously at work. You gave (and still give me) the outlet to be my feminine self whenever I want to be. You don't make me feel guilty for taking forever to do my makeup, and you gladly come into Sephora with me. Even though you're probably annoyed with me by the time we leave because I've smeared half a dozen different shadows on your arm and two lip pigments, you swear to me that you wouldn't have it any other way or with anyone else.

Thank you for opening my eyes to new things. Before I met you, I had never been to a race track, never mind ridden in a race car. The day after you asked me to be your girlfriend, you took me to your first race of the season. I was so naïve to what I should dress like. I wore some cutesy outfit, not knowing that I would be able to get my hands dirty and use some of the skills I had learned elsewhere. I had such an amazing time that day, I kept taking days off so that I could go to races with you. I wouldn't trade that for the world, and I love being 'one of the drivers' girls'. The day you put my name on your car, my heart fluttered the entire day. You've made me feel so special, even in the smallest of ways.

Thank you for going above and beyond for me. You've always gone above and beyond for me. Every month on the seventh without fail, you've shown up at my door with white flowers. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't do something for me, even if it's as simple as wiping down my car or making sure I've had something to eat before class at night. The way you proposed just takes the cake. At 1,882 feet, you asked me to be your wife. You drove all the way up to Rangeley, Maine on a Friday night to get down on one knee. You spent countless hours at the jeweler making sure that you had gotten the ring of my dreams. You wrote me a whole speech, that you immediately forgot when you got down on one knee. You even went as far as to have a bottle of champagne and pink roses waiting in the car after. Above and beyond doesn't even begin to cover it most days.

Thank you, my love. Thank you for all that you do for me, and for us. All of the time you put in and the effort you've put into helping me become the very best version of me, even if it meant sacrificing sleep sometimes. You have truly outdone yourself in every way, and I couldn't ask for a better person to call my future husband.

Cover Image Credit: Alyson Perry

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5 Ways To Accessorize Your Wedding Dress So No One Knows How 'Cheap' It Really Was

Wedding styling venture isn't finished yet.


Ideally, you've discovered a wedding dress that you completely love yet your wedding styling venture isn't finished yet. From clasps to hoops, you have to embellish your wedding dress to finish your outfit.

This season is about extras. Brilliant square hues and pastels, larger than average blossoms and quits and making your form fun. There are such a significant number of approaches to embellish your wedding dress. Be guided by your general style, be it exemplary and conventional, smooth and chic, boho and hippy, retro and vintage or trendy person cool.

Following are some of the accessories to consider for your cheap wedding dress.

1. Garter


The garter is one of the most established wedding conventions, intended to symbolize luckiness. Today, garters are progressively about the good times. Since they are (generally) not seen, why not play with shading and embellishments?

2. Brooches


Vintage-looking brooches are an adaptable expansion to your wedding outfit. They don't need to be genuine collectibles since there are a huge amount of beautiful brooches available to be purchased on the high road right now, so you'll have heaps of selection of hues and styles.

Join to your bouquet, your dress ties, bodice, skirt or stick one in your hair.

Pick a shading that runs with your blossoms, your dress and your make up. Ornaments make incredible frill for your bridesmaids and can be given as endowments after the wedding.

3. Shoes


Who doesn't love shoes? A lady of the hour's identity can truly radiate through in her selection of wedding shoes, on the whole and first, do pick a couple that you can remain to stroll around in throughout the day.

While shopping, bring along a swatch of your dress to ensure that the shading and tone of the shoe supplement your outfit. At long last, bring your shoe (or a couple with a comparable heel stature) to your last change fitting so you can tailor the length of your outfit to flawlessness!

4. Clutches


A chic little grasp can be conveyed instead of your bunch, lit up with a corsage or a lovely pin. Utilitarian and awesome! Extraordinary for bridesmaids as well, since they're the ones who will certainly be bearing your makeup and sways in any case!

5. Jewelry


Do explore different avenues regarding proclamation pieces to improve your big day look.

In case you're wearing your hair out, pick a sensational match of light fixture hoops (dainty ones will lose all sense of direction in the rearrangement). What's more, in the event that you are wearing a strapless dress, definitely, wear that thick articulation jewelry!

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