Asking For Help Isn't A Sign Of Weakness

asking for help isn't a sign of weakness

It's a sign of raw, courageous strength.

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From as far back as I can remember, I have never been one to jump up to ask someone for help if I don't understand the concept at hand. To me, I thought that if I were to ask someone for help with something, that I was going to be deemed incompetent and that to me, was terrifying.

I really began to notice this in me as I entered college. Not only in my classes did I discover that I was weary to ask for help in any instance, but also in my mental health as well.

No, I do not say this for anyone to pity me, I say all of this for the girl that will one day be in my same shoes as I was, just last semester.

With the heaviness of a major that I was so unhappy with and my insanely busy schedule, I found myself turning into a ball of anxiety, something that seemed very foreign to me at first. The first real, and raw instance of it was the week of finals my sophomore year; I was sitting in the library, struggling to concentrate. The more I sat there, the more I started to panic. It was as if I wasn't in control of my body, and that I was going to pop at any second.

I rushed out the back doors of the library, called my mom, and sobbed to her, telling her that I couldn't quiet my mind and that I was extremely stressed out.

Throughout the end of that semester, and the semester thereafter, I found those little instances becoming big instances, ones that happened almost every week, or after every test I took. It wasn't that I wasn't prepared, it was that I couldn't quiet my mind long enough to tell myself that I, in fact, could pass that test, or get a certain grade in a class.

For the longest time, I thought it was me. I thought "come on Emilee" if you just pray this away, and keep quiet about it, its all going to disappear. It got to the point that after every single test I took, I would automatically call my mom and sob to her, telling her how incompetent I was. This was an everyday occurrence; a feeling that was so hollow and embedded in my mind that I would wake up in the middle of the night, nauseous.

I tried everything I could to get rid of this feeling, without having to ask for actual help from someone. I thought that I was in control of it, that I could change it at any minute.

And...... boy was I wrong.

It got to the point that my mom had to come to stay in Charleston with me for the last stretch of my finals. I couldn't bear to be alone while feeling like this, because I knew my body, and I knew that when I shut down, I was done.

That was when it hit me, I actually need help...

I actually suffer from something that is for the most part, out of my control.

I remember specifically calling my mom one day and saying, "I'm done feeling like this." I'm done stopping myself from asking for help, just because people might not see me in this perfect light anymore.

I set up an appointment with a therapist, and boy did it change everything. That was the turning point of stubbornness and my inability to ask for help. I needed it, and I needed it badly.

I have had two sessions of therapy thus far, and I can honestly say that it has been the best thing. At first, I saw it as a sign of weakness, but have come to learn that real strength lies in your ability to step outside of your pride and ask for help.

I have learned that I suffer from anxiety, and to me, that was a breath of fresh air when it came out of my therapist's mouth. Now, I could finally voice what I was suffering with. It wasn't a foreign concept to me anymore, it was there, laid out on the table, clear as day.

Maybe you are like me, afraid to ask for help, in the fear that it might tarnish the image you've been trying to uphold for so long.

My advice to you would be to brave the courage to ask for help, as I believe it is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of raw, courageous truth.

Pray about it, oh boy, pray about it all day long and declare The Lord's sovereignty of it all, but also take the necessary steps to keep your mental health your top priority. There are doctors and nurses and therapists who are all here to help you, as long as you have the courage to ask for it.

Ya won't regret it, promise.

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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11 Things You NEVER Say To A College Girl Trying To Get Into Shape

Just never talk about a person's weight.

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When my family and friends joked that I was going to gain 15 pounds in my freshman year of college as a result of the "Freshman 15," I thought it was what it was supposed to be: a joke. However, as the year has come to an end, I realized that I actually did put on a couple of pounds, albeit it wasn't the predicted 15.

As I told those that I wanted to get into an ideal shape for my body, I was met with some insensitive and ignorant remarks. Everyone thought that I mean just losing the weight I had put on.

1. "You walk to all of your classes, why aren't you losing weight that way?"

My legs are more toned than they ever have been before. However, most of the weight I have been gaining has gone directly to my gut (annoying!) and walking does not remedy that. Unfortunately, I have to stick to ab workouts.

2. "But you look fine to me!"

I don't feel healthy to myself. I'm not trying to stay in shape for anyone else, just myself, thanks. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better about my body image but I know something has to be done.

3. "I didn't gain any weight in college."

Good for you. I did. I'm trying to do something about it.

4. "Just stop drinking."

I don't drink. Really, the only liquid I consume is water or iced tea. I don't like soda and alcohol makes me nauseous way too easily.

5. "Isn't the gym free on campus for students?"

Yes, but some people don't like working out in front of others. I am one of those people. My friend lives in an apartment complex that has their own gym and almost no one is ever there but not everyone has that luxury. Also, some are busy and do not have time for a quick jog or to stretch.

6. "You should try this diet/pills/exercise routine."

I am thankful that you are trying to help but my diet is just eating healthy and having a few cheat days in between. I know what exercises work best for me and I am just not taking pills. Bodies adjust differently.

7. "Don't starve/force yourself to throw up."

Trust me, I know. I'm trying to lose the weight healthily. If you do find yourself practicing unhealthy eating habits or realizing your body image is deteriorating, the NEDA Hotline is (800) 931-2237. Please reach out if you are going through hardships.

8. "Won't you have to buy a whole new wardrobe?"

If I drop (or even add) a size or two. We grow out and grow tired of clothes on the regular, what's the difference if you have to buy some because of a weight change? Plus, who doesn't love buying new clothes?

9. "Just eat healthier."

Didn't think of it! Options are limited at college where the dining halls don't offer all that much that is actually good for your body. Now that I'm at home, it's easier. But I'm already trying to eat healthy.

10. "You've evened out since the last time I saw you!"

This is code for you've put on some weight. I hear it mostly from older relatives because my friends will flat out tell me if I've gotten a little chunky.

11. "You're just stressed."

Personally, this one gets me livid. I do admit that when I am stressed or anxious, I do turn to food for comfort but when I am delighted and genuinely happy, will my body magically revert into a fit state?

Sadly, no.

Honestly, I am just trying to get my body back into shape. For me, that means cutting back on greasy foods and kicking a bad habit of sitting on my butt all day. For others, it could mean more or less. As long as your body is in good physical condition and you are content, the number on the scale and others' thoughts shouldn't matter. Take care of yourself.

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