As I just completed my undergraduate career, I have had so many things come and go as I went through my college experience. I've lost some of my favorite outfits from High School as I've just simply grown out of them. I've lost some of my bedroom decor since those days of decorating my room with bands and pop singers have come and go. But from the beginning of my college career to the end the things that have certainly come and go have been the friends that I have made over the years. Now don't get me wrong not all of them ended on the worst terms possible, but life just happens.

People just grow apart, others move away, and some just simply don't even give you a reason as to why they don't want to be in your life anymore. This is always a difficult thing to grasp onto for some people and for other's they just let it go freely. I can see why others are hurt by losing friends. Let's just be real, some friendships are not meant to last forever. Instead of asking yourself all the time why that person does not want to be your friend anymore, just tell yourself that you might not specifically be the issue. Sometimes certain people just grow apart for multiple reasons. They don't always specifically have to be bad,but it's just depending on what the situation is.

I thought that friends forever simply meant forever...but that is not always the case. The reality is, the friends that you might have met and hung out with all the time from your freshman year might be gone the next day. Or they could be around until you're ready to graduate. Some situations differ more than others. The one thing about going to a community college straight from High School was that I know making friends was not going to be easy. I knew that along the way I was going to run into people that were not going to have the same things in common with me. But before sophomore year was even over I ended up meeting someone who I can still call one of my closest friends. Even till this day. We may not see each other everyday, but we always make sure to stay in contact.

Even before I got my associates, I ran into people that I've laughed and cried with together. Now does that mean that I'm still friends with all of them? No, it just means that we've just grown apart from one another and that is simply okay. It is okay because I know that whatever she is accomplishing in her life is something that she simply wants to do for herself. Once again nothing but positive and good things to her future journey. But she was not the only one. With other friends that I have gained post associates degree some have been lost some have continued to stay. It is unfortunate as to why people tend to grow apart. Some we may not know the answer to and others is just simply because life has something planned differently for both of us.

Most recently I had noticed that someone who I called friend in my last semester started showing different feelings towards me. It's not that she 100% hated my guts, but life just simply has something planned for the both of us. Something that was always an issue for me is that I have always been scared of losing people. The thoughts of being alone in certain situations have always frightened me, and it was simply because I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed because I just did not want to feel like a 'weirdo' or a 'loser'.

Now let's be real, we were all young children once and at one point in time we went through some pretty crazy times. I know I have! But despite that I have always stayed true to myself which was staying out of confrontation because I just didn't see the point. Middle School and High School drama was always pointless simply because with everything else that I had going on in my life, why would I want to involve myself with something that won't even matter years from now? I was always cool with everyone because I just simply wanted to chill and enjoy life as a teenager. I made an oath to myself that no matter how 'cool' I was with certain people that doesn't mean that I was up for anyone's BS.

That was not now nor will it ever be my cup of tea. The point remaining is that I've realized that certain people just didn't like the fact that I knew a certain amount of people. It just simply meant that my purpose in life is not to create enemies. It's a waste of time and energy. The less compelled you are to try and prove yourself to others is the easier and more peaceful you'll feel on the inside. Trying to brag and make yourself out as something you're not to certain people is simply going to turn them off. You might think that just because certain people may look like they have their life together on the outside, doesn't mean that they have it all together on the inside. Just always remember, instead of constantly saying to yourself 'I can't believe they just let me go for no reason' just realize that maybe they are going through something that is not meant to involve you. That does not always mean that they want bad for you or that they just simply wake up one day and just decide to take you out of your life.

Of course recently I was angry and confused as to why they don't look at me the same. I instantly reacted because I was asking myself 20 questions. I was always scared of being 'odd' or 'unusual' to anyone as if I was effected with some type of disease. Instead of asking the question 'What Did I Do?' I have to give myself positive credits about myself that no one else can credit me with other than me. I am who I am and no one or nothing can change that. So for those out there that just graduated and might be dealing with a similar situation just remember it is not you. It is just simply what life has in store for you. With that said Congratulations to all my fellow graduates from Fall 2017 & Spring 2018.