Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not as different as most people would believe when it comes to love. I’ve found that in the end, we all want the same thing. Validation. We want to feel from our partners that we are enough. In terms of cheating, however, I believe that there are stark contrasts for reasons why men and women cheat, perhaps misconceptions, even. The number one misconception that I often hear from men is that they think the reason that women cheat is because we know that we can get away with it. On the other hand, women seem to believe two things: number one, that all men cheat and two, they cheat because they can. If I may, I’d like to take a moment to set the record straight.

For starters, let’s arrive at a definition for the word. Cheating takes place in several forms, not all of which are physical. Cheating means different things to different people. Some people don’t feel that kissing is a form of cheating, while others may feel that cheating has occurred if they give their number to someone of the opposite sex. I will go so far as to categorize a cheater as anything that entertains the attention of someone else that could lead to infidelity whether mental, emotional or sexual. And with that in mind, let’s get to the real reason that women cheat.

1. Women cheat because they want attention.

The truth is that we really want it from the man that we love, but when he is not giving it to us, then we'll will find flattery in someone else. Sometimes, it’s a simple as receiving a compliment from someone new that will open the door to infidelity. But really, it's just a sense of desire that she is seeking, wanting to feel desired by a man. Wanting to feel beautiful. This is why it's important to keep courting your partner in relationships.What it takes to get a woman is what it takes to keep her. Women tend to be emotional cheaters, because for a woman, before you can get us into bed, you have to first get into our heads. And yes, you can quote me on that. #TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

2. Women cheat because they are hurt.

And it’s not in an attempt to even the score, but sometimes, because the pain of a heartbreak is so deep that we are willing to do anything to make it go away, even if just for a moment. After a while, we get tired of feeling stupid for being loyal for so long and we just want the hurt to go away, by any means necessary.

3. Women cheat when they’ve given up.

When a woman has had her heart broken by the same man several times, it turns out that it’s not even cheating at all. I know women, personally, who won’t even entertain the company of another man because she is so loyal to a man who’s not even claiming her. And it takes months, even years, sometimes for us to come to our senses that we are actually free to do what we want to do. And chances are that he’s already stepped out anyway, so, technically, it’s not even a cheat. Once we feel like there’s nothing left to fight for and there’s no chance of reconciliation, it’s not that we’re cheating. We’ve just realized that it’s time to move on.

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