For Every Person Who Feels Stupid In College

For Every Person Who Feels Stupid In College

College is like soup and I'm a fork.
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In high school, you were the straight A student. The one who never missed a homework assignment, who always studied days in advance for an exam, who never felt completely confused just by seeing the formulas and equations written on the board, and who never dreaded learning something new.

It's hard not to compare yourself, your grades, and your study habits to the person you were and achievements that you had in high school.

Just because you are struggling in college right now does not, by any means, mean that you are stupid. You are far from it.

You are smart. You still are and you always have been.

But, at college, being smart is only half the battle. It's important to remember that. You can't just get by with your wit and intelligence. It takes more than your ability to memorize things at the drop of a hat or to instantly understand the material to succeed in college. You cannot think that just because you are struggling now that you are any less intelligent than you were in high school. You cannot compare the person you are today to the person that you were then because you have experienced different things, grown as a person, gained independence, and learned so much about so many new subjects.

College isn't like high school - it isn't a piece of cake nor is it meant to be. It's supposed to hard. Even though we wish every class would be as easy as Psychology 101 or Theater 101 but it just isn't like that. College is meant to push you to your limits, to make you grow intellectually, and to make you learn things that you never thought you'd learn but may just ignite an unknown passion. Remember, not everyone can handle what you're doing now nor would they like to, so hold your head high because you're doing something amazing, something worth being proud of years from now. But, it's important to also remember these things:

Every day you get up and go to class, you are one step closer to succeeding.

Going to class, doing your homework, and studying counts as trying your best. It will pay off eventually. I promise.

Most importantly, believe in yourself. If you don't believe in your abilities then how can you ever expect anyone else to believe in you?

Everyone understands that college is hard. No one is expecting you to be perfect, to be that straight A student with the perfect 4.0 GPA, or to be the one who still breezes through anything and everything that is thrown their way. As long as you are trying, there is nothing more that anyone can ask of you. College isn't like high school where you are baby stepped through everything and given countless bonus opportunities. College is one step closer to the real world where nothing is simply given to you just by participating. If you want to succeed, you have to try every day and, most importantly, always believe in yourself. Even if that means that some days you feel like you're are struggling emotionally, academically, or financially (or a combination or all three) because eventually, each and every struggle will pay off and you can look back and see how much stronger you are because of everything you went through in along the way.

I know it seems hard now but, please, keeping pushing through. You'll be proud of yourself because nothing tastes sweeter than success.


Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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For Camille, With Love

To my godmother, my second mom, my rooted confidence, my support

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First grade, March. It was my first birthday without my mom. You through a huge party for me, a sleepover with friends from school. It included dress up games and making pizza and Disney trivia. You, along with help from my grandma, threw me the best birthday party a 7-year-old could possibly want.

During elementary school, I carpooled with you and a few of the neighborhood kids. I was always the last one to be dropped off, sometimes you would sneak a donut for me. Living next door to you was a blessing. You helped me with everything. In second grade, you helped me rehearse lines for history day so I could get extra credit. In 4th grade, you helped me build my California mission.

You and your sister came out to my 6th grade "graduation". You bought me balloons and made me feel as if moving onto middle school was the coolest thing in the entire world.

While you moved away from next door, you were a constant in my life. Going to Ruby's Diner for my birthday, seeing movies at the Irvine Spectrum and just hanging out, I saw you all the time. During these times, you told me about all of the silly things you did with my mom and dad, how my mom was your best friend. I couldn't have had a greater godmother.

In middle school, you pushed me to do my best and to enroll in honors. You helped me through puberty and the awkward stages of being a woman.

Every single time I saw you, it would light up my entire day, my week. You were more than my godmother, you were my second mom. You understood things that my grandma didn't.

When you married John, you included me in your wedding. I still have that picture of you, Jessica, Aaron and myself on my wall at college. I was so happy for you.

Freshmen year of high school, you told me to do my best. I did my best because of you. When my grandma passed away that year, your shoulder was the one I wanted to cry on.

You were there when I needed to escape home. You understood me when I thought no one would. You helped me learn to drive, letting me drive all the way from San Clemente to Orange.

When I was applying to colleges, you encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. You told me I should explore, get out of California. I wanted to study in London, you told me to do it. That's why, when I study abroad this Spring in London, I will do it for you.

When I had gotten into UWT, you told me to go there. I did and here I am, succeeding and living my best in Tacoma. I do it for you, because of you.

When I graduated high school and I was able to deliver a speech during our baccalaureate, you cheered me on. You recorded it for me, so I could show people who weren't able to make it to the ceremony. You were one of the few people able to come to my actual graduation. You helped me celebrate the accomplishments and awards from my hard work.

When your cancer came back, I was so worried. I was afraid for you, I was afraid of what I would do without the support you had always given me. When I was in Rome, I went to the Vatican and had gotten a Cross with a purple gem in the middle blessed by the Pope to help you with your treatments. It was something from me and a little bit of my mom in the necklace, the gem.

Now, sitting so far from you away at college just like you wanted me to. I miss you. I wish I was there to say goodbye.

I'll travel the world for you, write lots of stories and books for you, I will live life to the fullest for you.

You are another angel taken too early in life. Please say hello to my parents and grandma in Heaven for me.

Lots of love,

Haiden

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