College is the time where a lot of couples experience change. This could mean breaking up, finding new love or experiencing changes in your relationship… Like, getting serious and maybe even considering marrying the person you’re with. Marriage is a commitment that will change the rest of your life, for better or for worse (pun intended). These are some things you should consider before popping the question. You know that you’re ready for marriage when...

1. You’ve Talked About Marriage With Your Partner. I used to think that marriage proposals were always a complete surprise and could come from anyone at any time. But this isn’t a romantic comedy and I now know that this isn’t true. It turns out that couples talk about marriage with each other if this is something they’re interested in pursuing. If you haven’t had this conversation with your partner… you may not be ready yet. But, maybe, this is your sign to have that conversation.
2. You Want Similar Things. You don’t have to have your life figured out in its entirety, but you should think about the big things before entering marriage. Do you want kids? Do you want to live abroad? Do you want to live in a mansion someday and own 12 cars? As my Pastor, who is officiating my own wedding, told me and my fiancé, “The more conservative answer wins.” To stick with the example of children: if having children is critically important to you but your partner wants nothing to do with kids, then this might not be a good situation for you to get married in. You should agree on the big things.
3. It’s Not The Solution To Other Problems Or Wants. Marrying someone should not be the way you rebel against your family and it shouldn’t be a way to make you feel financially secure, have the family you’ve always wanted, etc.. This doesn’t show respect for the other person and this “solution” could cause even more problems than when you started. This could come in the form of legal fees for a divorce and nasty separations of possessions and your relationship.
   
   
4. Your Partner Treats You With The Love And Respect You Deserve (And You Deserve A Lot). Your partner should make you feel safe, will listen to you, will value and respect your decisions and choices, and will let you be your own person within the relationship. They should let you see your friends, even if they are male (if your partner is male) and they should let you have a say in the decisions you make as a couple-- from simple things like where to go on a date too much more complicated decisions like relocating for work or deciding when to have a child. If you don’t feel safe with your partner or if they are micromanaging you, marriage should not be on your mind right now. Recognize your own worth and know that no matter what happens or what your life is like right now, you deserve good things.

Marriage is a big step to make. It is not something to enter into without any thought or on a whim because the consequences can be steep. Think about these things now and make an informed decision about whether or not marriage is the right step for you to take.