Existence.

We are all here, we are all living, breathing, emotional, intelligent creatures living on a planet that revolves around a ball of fire. We live day-by-day, minute-by-minute, second-by-second. We unintentionally create habits in our lives. Some of us cannot begin a day without coffee, others cannot end a day without a glass of wine; we create habits in this lifetime. Eventually these habits take over our lives, and soon, we are living these habits ritually. Every morning, every night, the same exact day, every single day.

Shouldn’t we be scared of that though? Shouldn’t we be scared of being faceless creatures living a meaningless life, just trying to get to the next day, to Friday, to the weekend. Not living for today, but rather for the weekend, or next week, or next year. Living for the day that your heart stops hurting, or your hair grows back, or for John Mayer's new album.

I’m so hopelessly scared that I am just existing in this world. That I am just going through the motions. I go to class because that’s what I was told to do. I drink coffee because that's what my parents do. I cry when I’m sad but dry the tears as soon as someone asks what’s wrong, because you’re told to not burden others with your problems.

Shouldn’t we all be fearful of this epiphany. This dream that one day we would all wake up to find ourselves living a record player that continually goes around and around. No stops. No changes. A meaningless life.

Maybe it’s just me, and it could very well be, but I lay wake at night wondering what my presence causes upon people. Do I leave others wanting more or less? Do I create genuine laughter or simply chuckles to continue the conversation? Do I make others happy? Do I promote love?

Am I just existing today, or am I living today?

I think apart of everyone is a hope for something more in this lifetime. Like a fairytale to an extent. But the humorous things that writers simply leave out of fairytales are the heartbreak, the betrayal, and the hurt, pain, and tears.

It's times like these that people find out whether they are living or just going through the motions. It's times when life is ripped from your floor, and you are thrown into an abyss of unfamiliar emotions that we discover our lives to a fuller extent.

I guess I could say the same.